new member
 

I've joined after reading about everyone's care and concern for each other. Think I need some of that too.
I'm three back surgeries down (in five years) and am now officially called a FSS patient.
PMs are now talking SCS (again)! They've tried and failed three times to get them in. The first attempt was suspended after 2 hours with three providers trying to shove the thing in me; the next two trials were described as difficult and never affected my needed low back area; one numbed my perineum, the last one gave me an electric jar with each left step and were both removed at days 2 and 3.
A military multi specialty committee is recommending a NS place a paddle lead. I'm soooo not sure about another "anything" and don't see much of a future for me like this.
I fought surgical procedures for a long time-should have kept fighting.
Opiates don't work and I really can't take narcotics and work anyway.
Some of the HCPs seemed to believe when I tell them that I hurt 7-8, 24/7, and sleep very, very poorly due to pain. The latest-I don't think he believes me.
I can't seem to convince him that because I'm not rolling around on the floor calling for my mother, asking for narcotics, and/or sobbing uncontrollably, that I am not hurting horribly. My sobbing goes on behind closed doors.
I am incredibly sad right now, and am unable to share these feelings with another person.
Wow, lots of whining!

Welcome, PMF. You have had to endure a lot. Hope you are able to get the help you need.

Hello PMF,,
Welcome to the NeuroTalk Support Groups!

You may want to repost over on the forums below. Just click the links.

SCS & Pain Pumps Forum
Chronic Pain Forum

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I hope you can find the support and information here to help you as you move forward.

take care there.

Welcome PFM. :Wave-Hello:

Hi PMF,
You whinge if you need to - there will always be other members like myself to listen.
First, do you feel like sharing the cause of your many back problems? Mine have been caused by multi MVAs, motorcycle accident which crushed neck vertebrae and 3 further whiplash injuries. I have a multitude of other Neurological and health problems including severe Depression.
SCSs are not an option over here for my situation so I have Lidocaine Infusions 4 weekly and take oral Ketamine and oral Morphine. Ketamine and Phenytoin Infusions are also available. This may seem like a lot of pain meds, but I have Neurological Hypersensitivity and Static Mechanical Allodynia and the combination can reduce my agony by 50% at best. The Infusion and Ketamine are most effective and have fewest side-effects.
As for your Depression, I am very concerned that you are receiving the correct support and treatment for this. Being trapped myself, I know how it makes all our other problems much worse. Do you see a Counsellor? Many find that helpful. Anti-Depressants are an option - I have to take them as well as meditating to help keep my mind clear and strong enough to get through the days.
Then there is the wonderful support you have witnessed from the members of this Forum. It is the best place to connect with people who understand your problems from the inside. You can also just come here to whine, or vent - or crack a joke on a good day.
Whatever support you feel you need, I - and others - are always around.

Dave.

Thanks, Dave
 

Thank you for your kind reply.
I'm a recently retired Army Nurse-28 years. Years ago I was thrown out of the back of a military vehicle, sustaining a tibial fx ( I landed upright). I really think my issues began then, but my age and occupation also added to my problems. Sometimes a nurse especially on deployment has to lift, shove, push, move an injured Soldier by his/herself. I have no regrets there at all. The PMs and NSs always note that fact and chart it, but that doesn't help much.
When you move to a new assignment in the Army, you have a visit with a HCP and about 11 years ago, I finally admitted that my LBP was about an "8". I had been taking OTC meds for years with little relief. I was referred to PM and began 2 years there of every procedure that the PMs could think of. I saw 5 different PMs; they rotated in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan (as I had done). Each eventually would comment that I should go to a NS and try narcotics. I always declined until unknown to me, my case was discussed in some inter disciplinary mtg at the end of the second year when my first NS called me and told me that I absolutely needed to have an L3-S1 laminectomy. I knew the surgeon, trusted him, and had worked w him (I was an operating room nurse).
That procedure only made my pain worse and three months later, I had a PLIF-posterior lumbar interbody fusion, and was back at work 30 days later.
I was OK for a while, then developed awful L SI joint pain, supposedly from the extra weight of my spine. The NS (the second one) was deploying, so I chose to wait until he returned. During that time, I began stumbling and falling. My left foot was tingling, numb, heavy- PN- foot drop. Hooray.
In Oct 2013, I had a left SI fusion. Again I had a few months of feeling better and then the same thing. Unrelenting pain that then and now, keeps me from sleeping. (So tired when I go to bed that I fall asleep quickly, but awaken every hour and a half to 2 hours because I am hurting and need to reposition).
The NS has said he doesn’t know what else to do, and sent me back to PM. I think I’ve tried everything there is with little to no help. The last military PM ( I don’t think he believes that I hurt) sent me to a Psychologist. He at first expressed that a SCS would do me no good, but seems to have changed his mind, and wants me to try this.
I am so depressed and afraid. I don’t think I can handle another failure. I’ve been rx’ed numerous antidepressants, sleep and pain meds. Little to no relief or violent side effects.
Yes, I have been in "that place" and fight that urge everyday.
I appreciate your support. Lara suggested I go to the SCS forum. Maybe I'll "see" you there.
Pat

Pat,
Forces nurses are special people - thank you for your 28 years.
I hope you feel after that post as I did when I struggled through my extended Bio, a lightening of my mood knowing I had finally gotten everything off my chest.
Lara is right (as usual) to point you to the SCS Forum, but don't forget the Depression Forum - and other places for support - as well.
I am sorry you have such little relief from meds, perhaps it would be worthwhile mentioning local anaesthetic Infusions (Lidocaine or Ketamine). They are shown to work wonders on many chronic pain conditions.
Far too many of us have been in 'That Place', myself included all too frequently. Please read the Stickys in the Survivors of Suicide Forum. (Sorry, I must learn to do links, but I'm a technophobe). The important thing is that you are getting help, and you can find much more support in the interim right here.
I hope to see you around the Forums, and read of significant improvement as time passes.

Dave

Hello & Welcome!!