I have no identity
 

I have been on Celexa 40mg for about 10 years now and am coming to the realization that I don't have much feeling. For as long as I can remember I have been feeling numb each day. It is hard for me to get happy, excited or even sad. I don't feel like I have any thoughts running through my head. When people ask me my opinion on something I don't really even have any answer.

I feel like when I drink alcohol ideas flow more freely through my head and I am more opened minded than I would be otherwise. Although my friends tell me they can't even tell when I'm drunk because my personality is so neutral and calm.

I wish I could develop more emotions and feelings toward things. I graduate in a month and still don't know what I want to do because I am so neutral with everything. I can't think of anything that gets me excited or motivates me.

I was curious if the Celexa had anything to do with my mood/personality? I feel like I have a hard time developing thoughts and it doesn't seem normal. Any advice or input would be appreciated, thank you.

Hello LiveInThePresent
I have no experience personally with Celexa but I had some time on my hands so did a Drug Safety Data search for you for Celexa (Citalopram). I found a reference to two adverse effect symptoms which may relate to what you are experiencing. Please note these effects were observed during pre-marketing trials of Celexa and were not specifically attributed to the drug.

Briefly they are:
Apathy: frequency - common
Depersonalization: frequency - uncommon

Definition: Common adverse events are those occurring in less than 1/10 but at least 1/100.
Uncommon adverse events are those occurring in less than 1/100 patients but at least 1/1000 patients.

Were you given any safety information on the drug before starting and has you doctor asked you about any side effects during your time taking it?
You're probably aware you should not stop taking it suddenly. If the lack of feelings you mention are concerning you deeply you may want to discuss it with your doctor.
Hope this is of use.

Hello and welcome to Neurotalk.

If you've been taking the same medication at the same dose for 10 years and you're feeling this way, it's the first thing I would wonder about.

I'd speak to the Doctor who has been prescribing the Celexa. Was it for depression in the beginning or were you prescribed it for an anxiety disorder/OCD?

If a medication like that is being prescribed for such a long period of time, it's really important for the prescribing Doctor to evaluate your health regularly.

CBT - cognitive behaviour therapy can be a valuable tool. Sometimes it's used in conjunction with a medication but it also can be used on its own.

I really hope that you go back to your doctor and talk to her/him about how you're feeling. It's no good feeling so flat like that and if you're about to graduate college, then you've got so much to look forward to in your life.

Please let us know how you're doing.

Hi Liveinthepresent

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

I agree with Lara - talking with your prescribing doctor is a great idea. Sometimes anti-depressants stop working so discussing the option of trying one with a different pharmacology with your doctor is a good plan.

Also, in my experience, a combination of CBT and an anti-depressant has been far more helpful for me than either has been in isolation.

I would be very cautious about mixing alcohol and an anti-depressant. In a pharmacological sense alcohol is a depressant so having two drugs in your body at the same time which "fight" each other does not sound like a good idea to me.

I suggest you discuss this with your doctor. Long term use of SSRI drugs like Celexa can mess up your dopamine system.

Are you having any muscle cramps, neck or jaw spasms, restless legs? These side effects are called extrapyramidal side effects and involve abberations in dopamine.

Low dopamine in the brain can cause poor learning response, lack of motivation like you describe, since dopamine is a reinforcement neurotransmitter.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2674976/

Sometimes doctors add in Wellbutrin (which is not an SSRI but a dopamine acting drug) to a SSRI regimen. However, it may be decided by your doctor to wean you off the Celexa...if so I think it would have to be a very slow taper because of the length of time you have been using it.

In any event, you need to discuss this with your doctor.

Hi there,
I have experience with Citalopram over a number of years. It turned me into a mindless zombie who sat, gained weight and couldn't string 2 words together. My family stopped calling and it was only the breakdown of a 14 year relationship that snapped me out of it, made me sling them out and change to a more suitable AD.

I got better verbally (although I have non-related cognitive/memory problems), and fixed the relationships with family snd my Ex.

Dave.

Thank you everyone for your detailed responses. I really appreciate it. I have been taking this medication for quite some time but I guess I haven't realized how numb its made me feel. I feel like I have just discovered recently that what I'm going through doesn't seem normal. At first I just thought it was my personality, cause I've always been calm and quite. But I'm starting to think it's just not normal compared to my classmates, friends and family.

I do go to yearly check ups with my doctor and I have always told him it was working well for me because really I thought it was. It wasn't until recently I started to realize how flat I was compared to the people around me.

EnglishDave - I to have trouble talking, I stutter a lot and it is nearly impossible for me to tell a story that is longer then 1 minute. My brain just gets lost, anxious and scattered and can't put it together. It's very frustrating, and I've always thought it was a confidence issue. Some weeks I feel great and other weeks I feel like I can't even get out a word. It probably started 5 years ago and I have been fighting it ever since. I'm not sure if it's the Celexa or just social anxiety. I've constantly tried to develop it and put myself in uncomfortable situations (speeches, talking to anybody) to develop my speech but nothing ever seems to get me out of the hole I'm in.

I recently started to see a therapist so I will defiantly ask him about it. Again, I'd like to thank you all for taking your time to give me advice and being so welcoming. It's nice to know that their are people out their that want to help others!

Liveinthepresent,
I also think with Celexa that a regular ECG/EKG is usually done to monitor your heart rate. I think that is only done for high doses though. [They did that for my son too on another medication called Orap. They took a baseline one before starting the med and then he was to have regular ones after that. Didn't end up needing it though as he couldn't tolerate the med.. ]

Don't worry about being different from your classmates too much though.

If you're generally a calm and quiet person, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being like that! However, if you're feeling flat, fatigued and finding no joy in anything and just generally blah... worry about that.

My son, my daughter and I have social anxiety issues. It's no fun when you're having to deal with crowds and classes etc.. If you have diagnosed condition/s then you can get accommodations at college/uni for certain types of assessments such as having to stand in front of a class and talk for 10 minutes etc.. My daughter's battled with that terribly lately. The doctors prescribed her some Propranolol on an 'as needed' basis, but it doesn't help so much.

Anyway, sorry to ramble.
You take care of yourself.

Liveinthepresent,
Definitely talk to your Therapist regarding your concern about Anxiety issues. You CAN have both at the same time - I did, as my long-standing Panic Attacks were the only things that turned any emotion on.
If you are getting increased heart rate, a feeling you are sweating (or sweating), tension in muscles, a 'wash' of greying or blackness in, or around your vision and/or the feeling that you really want to remove yourself from your current situation then you are likely to have Anxiety issues. This is not a comprehensive list. Anyone else want to add further?
Nowadays, with the condition better understood, Therapy may be helpful, and as Lara said there is help for you at College - and the RIGHT meds can help.

Dave.

My anxiety, which is relatively infrequent, often involves panic attacks.

For me, a combination of deep breathing exercises (bringing my blood CO2 level back to normal) and using CBT methods helps with them.