Sorry so negative............but I've been pushed over the edge
 

I give up on fighting. My world has been flipped. Everyone in my household seems to be fed up with me. After getting upset at my significant other today for rudely waking me up by dropping our 20 month old on our bed so she could jump on me, he threatened to leave me and take her with him. [emoji24] I brought this up to my mom who I thought was my rock and she came down on me like a ton of bricks. Said she will take the baby before she lets us ruin her life. Omg all because I am trying to recover from this damned nerve block. Needless to say I'm done. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

God Bless

Not only are you overwhelmed and stressed, but in all likelihood so are your husband and mother.

I highly recommend finding a therapist that can help you cope with your new reality. --Hopefully you will go into remission, but you'll best be able to care for your health if you feel emotionally supported and stable. Couples therapy might need to be a component as well.

You MIGHT need more help caring for your daughter. Perhaps your mother could watch her for you in order to give you time to focus on your health. Perhaps your hubby could agree to pick up more of the care giving duties. Or maybe, you need to seek help from a local babysitter to augment some of your care giving duties. Maybe it needs to be on a regular schedule or maybe just after certain procedures or flares? (Getting cleaning help even once or twice a month can be a HUGE help.)

While what your hubby did seems insensitive, how did you react when he did it? Did your daughter get upset?

When my pain used to be wildly out of control, I often didn't realize how angry/upset I appeared to my family members. I also used to overreact to things in a way that was unusual for me. When you add up all the issues that can come along with the CRPS: financial issues, no longer being able to work, insurance issues, Work Comp, Social Security, isolation, uncertainty if the condition is temporary or permanent, unrealistic expectations of family and friends, depression, insomnia, etc.--ANYONE would need some guidance on all these potential new areas of stress.

:hug: Sorry for what you are going through; Sweetie you are not damned if you do or not...waking up that way doesn't help your pain; can you nap when your baby does? I mean it might not be you to rest during the day, but you NEED it....let your other know that you are trying to your best but your best has shifted due to the monster that resides in you....please don't give up; you are worth it.....:grouphug:

I am trying for therapy but it's a 9 month waiting list with my insurance.
I know that I can be agitated at times but I make it a point not to blow up, yell or scream around my daughter. I just laid there and took the jumping. I told her dad after I got up that I didn't appreciate it and reminded him that had it been the other way around I would've been cursed five ways to sunday for doing that.
They both know my situation, my other half has been to my doctors appointments and my mom is a nurse, but both made sure to let me know they are fed up with me and my "so called pain". And both threatened to take my daughter from me. I ask for help, and have a friend that watches her for me when needed but my mom sees that as neglecting my duties as a mom.

And yes I'm overwhelmed. I just want my life back.

Sorry that you are not getting the support you obviously need....it's NOT so called pain....and you are not neglecting your responsibility....with that being cleared you just need to asses you living condition; continue to due your best; know your limitations and continue to ask for help when you need it...

Sadly unless someone experiences this pain I don't think they will ever get it, even if they are supportive and go to your appointments and hear what the doctor is saying....

We know; don't give up; don't let the monster win....Keep up the fight and it's okay to be :mad: your life is changing and it's hard but you can manage with it...

Hope we help you a little here and there....:hug:

Your mom has no right to your child and is really crossing a line IMO. You need to realize she's not going to help at this point, and you need to withdraw--at least until you have a therapist that can help you figure out how to deal with her. Do not discuss your health with her anymore, just shut her out.

If you have friends that are more supportive and can utilize other resources like babysitting or cleaning help to lessen your load, GREAT. Worst case scenario, if you do separate eventually, you need to have things in place in order to be able to cope "on your own" with her. --And no judge will take her from you due to a disability, but you'll need to prove you have resources in place to manage.

I went out of pocket several thousand dollars for therapy instead of waiting for my insurance because I knew it was urgent at that point. Pre CRPS, I utilized free marriage counseling sessions with a few different ministers prior to my eventual divorce--my ex said he would participate but didn't. There are always options...

We can all empathize that you don't want to deal with CRPS--your husband and mother don't either apparently. The only thing worse then having CRPS short term, is having it long term. Your best chance of remission is having more intensive medical care right now, and for that to happen you need more support in order to care for your daughter. If it's not going to be from them, it has to come from somewhere else.

Just wanted to jump in and say I am thinking about you and so hoping things improve soon. We all lose it sometimes and say things we really don't mean when we are stressed. Everyone in your household is stressed right now. How could you all not be? I hope the hurtful things you heard about your child today were influenced by this. That in no way excuses anything, it was totally out of line and you have every reason to be upset. But maybe those words were said out of exasperation and poor impulse control, instead of something more threatening...like really meaning it.

I second taking protective measures for your mental health and seeking outside support wherever you can get it. Churches or community agencies offer no or low cost counseling. See what's out there, don't wait nine months!

Hang in there and don't give in and do too much too soon out of upsetness. Let that nerve block flare calm on down whether anyone likes it or not.
:hug::hug::hug:

Carolinarose,
Few things make my blood boil. One is insensitivity to the issues of Chronic Pain sufferers, and the biggest is using a child as a weapon. Know that you have unconditional support from your peers here. Heed the advice offered, as you choose, regarding your Mother's access and earlier Church/Community Counselling.

Please do not let others worsen your condition by increasing your stress. Stay strong.

Dave.

Big hugs from all of us who do understand what you are going through and what you are dealing with!!!
:grouphug: