I have a gambling problem
 

Not sure what to do. I played poker for a living before my accident. Like won a lot, over 400k but ended blowing through it all in my late 20s. Then i got in a car accident and have had pcs for 3 years.

Basically feel like crap every day and I think I use gambling as an outlet to forget about my head. I won a poker tourney last year for a large sum of $. Then I started doing fantasy sports and won a bunch more. At my peak I qualified for national fantasy championship for nba in Vegas and was playing for $1million. I didn't place and since then I've been chasing that huge score.
And I've had large downswings but still up a lot.

I see I'm on a similar path to before but i kind of don't care because my life is so hard and the high of winning large sums makes me forgot for a second. The lows are Superbad because of my pcs. I have a family and I believe I do have a skill set for what I do. The problem is I can't control the amount I wager. Any tips for overcoming this? Gambling addiction and head injury is just a really bad combo.

I think a large part of the problem is I don't value $ after my accident. All I care about is getting better but since it's been 3 years, I feel like I'm always going to have chronic pain so why not try to chase a big score. the thrill of winning helps me forget for a second my PCS struggles. The near misses and losses definitely make my symptoms worse.

I'm not sure if how we were all injured frames the way we look at our struggles. I was in a tbone car accident of a kid attempting to run red light going 60mph+. My suv went airborne, did a 180 in the air, and then skidded on drivers side. Somehow I crawled out through window that shattered and only had a couple scrapes/bruises. It wasn't till later that I knew I had mTBI.

Some might say I was pretty unlucky for this to happen. I could argue that I was very lucky to have survived the accident or not sustain worse injuries. I try to remind myself to look at it from latter viewpoint and i used to succeed at this. But then I go on stretches for months at a time where I feel really lousy every day and feels hopeless.

I can't turn to my wife/family for help because they are all sick of hearing about my pain. I get it, it's a downer to be around someone that constantly feels bad. I try to relay that I just want someone to listen that I still struggle and turns into argument about maybe it's not my head injury which is causing my daily headaches.

Add all this up and it leads me to seek an escape via gambling which I do actually have a significant edge with. It's not like I'm playing craps or blackjack but luck is still a factor.

My last post was a little scattered as is this one so I apologize. i know the answer is to find healthier outlets for an escape wether it be exercise/meditation/or new hobby like photography. I feel best when I'm immersed in nature. I've lost my way and will start to make changes necessary to live a more fulfilling life.

One of the problems with living in pain is nobody else can help you relieve the pain. The best they can do is say they are sorry. Even that gets old. The most we can ask is to be left alone during our most painful times if being left alone helps us deal with the pain. Or, we may need to ask for the commotion level to be lowered.

Those around us often get stressed out and frustrated because they are helpless to help with our pain.

Your posts don't seem scattered to me. I quoted the last paragraph of your second one though because you already know the answers. Getting motivated to do them is the next step. Life is so short.

I'm very sorry you've been experiencing all these issues since your injury. If you look back in older posts here for gambling or for impulse control problems, you'll find quite a lot.

If you feel that your gambling issues are connected to feelings of anxiety or to depression please talk to a counsellor or your doctor. Maybe set some practical limits on yourself money wise for the moment so that you don't have access to money you are likely to lose. If it's out of control, please get professional help.

take care of yourself

Yes, I'd be satisfied with a I'm sorry response. Instead I get reasons why my head is fine and its other stuff that's causing my symptoms.

Yes people can be really tough with invisible injuries. I am on disability and miss teaching every day. I told a friend I was going on vacation and she responded harshly "why do you need a vacation?" Ouch.
In regards to your gambling addiction, finding excuses or reasons why you do it is part of the disease. IMHO you need to seek treatment. I have seen 12 step programs save marriages. and lives

Hi todayistomorrow,

Perhaps look at it like this. Many of us across the Forums can no longer continue the profession, either temporarily or permanently, that we had before the issue which brought us here. Your skillset has obviously been diminished, so you need to take a step back until recovery allows you to return to work.

At present it sounds as though you are risking more than money, and that is never something to gamble with. Many, many of us have had less than stellar support, or the total breakdown of relationships due to the changes in us. And we are not blameless for that outcome. Don't let added financial stress cloud matters when you need to find a way to communicate, maybe through Counselling, all the ongoing issues.

Dave.