Depression
 

Hey all,

Most of us on here can probably relate to the depression associated with our journey, but I was wondering if anyone out there ever had the depression and then came out of it completely, I still find I have some pretty low days, to be expected when upping meds and other such things but I was curious if anyone ever went back to normal.

I feel good and lots better but still suffer from depression and I do experience anxiety when thinking about returning to my actual line of work. It took me almost a year to accept that depression was causing me issues. So if a doctor tells you this, it may not be right, but be open to it because it can help your recovery.

Thanks for your answers I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Dear MVTBI,

Thank you for expressing yourself. I can relate to what you are saying. I do believe that enjoying the good days are essential. If depression is the way your body copes with trauma then that is the way it is. Other people get cancer or suffer illness, you get depressed. Accept it for what it is.
You will probably find that whenever anything happens to you that is out of the ordinary and a little stressful, you start to feel depressed again. Your mind gets compressed temporarily and has nowhere to go. But the more you process each occurrence of stress, the quicker you will come out the other side again. Take time out to think about your day and if something happens that worries you or that is different, write it down or talk to a friend about it.

Take care and keep in touch xx

Hello MVTBI,

I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child. I was hardly 12 years old before I started using drugs and alcohol to cope with my neuroses. And to be honest, I would say that since my last TBI I'm far less depressed than I was before (albeit much more anxious). Furthermore, I haven't turned to drugs or drink since the day of my accident. Weird. Thinking about your question, it's very hard to find a reasonable explanation for all this.

I think that for one thing, experiencing TBI and PCS has given me a more clear understanding of suffering…
Before, I could never seem to pinpoint what made me feel so empty. I mean, those were bouts of depression that went on for weeks or months. Would go days and days without showering, eating, or getting out of bed. And though in the earlier days of this TBI I felt completely hopeless, to the point of wanting to die (which some of you may relate to), I realized pretty quickly I was not willing to commit suicide and that I would have to push through. Since that realization, every day I've woken up with a commitment to increasing my wellness and to really work through everything one step at a time. Not to mention the effect of realizing how many other people were suffering from brain disorders and pushing through. After reading other peoples' struggles (on this site in particular), it was hard to succumb to despair. In turn I feel more conscious of humanity than I ever did before. Identifying much less with my subjective head trips and identifying more with my "whole self", and with other peoples' struggles. I also attribute some of the perceptual shift to spiritual practices I've taken up since the injury.

So I guess what I'm saying is, does/can/will depression go away? Sort of. Do I still get depressed? Sometimes. But it has far less power over me than it did before. Perhaps the experience of depression depends a lot on where you're standing in relation to it. And that can always change. And our brains, bodies, and circumstances are changing every day. Anxiety though, is a whole other story. Anyway I believe that your depression will improve, and I wish you the best.

I read an article on I ******* Love Science the other day that said depression can CAUSE brain damage. Now since I've plenty of that thing already and I want my brain as functional as still possible, I've decided that from now on, whenever I get depressed, I'll stop being depressed and start being awesome instead.

My psychiatrist explained depression to me this way back in 1982. Depression is the result of the brain spinning its wheels too much and polluting itself and as a result, it loses control and just spins them more. This 'spinning the wheels' can be due to too much positive activity as much as it can be due to negative activities.

Hi MVTBI

I have lived with depression (formally, Major Depressive Disorder) for many years. Two things have helped me.

The first is anti-depressant medication. I think that medication is very often over-prescribed - for people who have been assessed in the mild-moderate range of depression medication is probably not needed but for people (like me) who have been assessed in the severe range medication is often needed.

The second is non-pharmaceutical approaches, notably Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and mindfulness/meditation approaches. I am grateful to my clinical psychologist for teaching me both of those.

That combination means that I think of myself as being in remission and have the skills (CBT and mindfulness/meditation) which I can use if necessary.

I have struggled with depression since my first head injury at 10 years old. I never sought professional help until a severe bout in 1982. The psychiatrist was focused on orthomolecular treatment, meaning his goal was to restore proper cellular function. In less than 8 weeks, he brought me out with vitamins and supplements. I got weekly shots of B-12 plus a full range of meganutrition after a short fast to rid my system of toxins and allergens. My recovery was amazing. That is when I learned the importance of good brain nutrition with supplements.

I like Marks description.

Like others here anxiety and depression has been a big part of recovery. I am finally learning to recognize the spinning wheels...it is amazing how clever it is at disguising itself at times.

I find now I am much more aware of my thoughts, my body movements, how I eat, and why or how fast I am doing something as they can all be clues to anxious behavior.

I am also working very hard at realizing those storm thoughts are just thoughts like any other and not allowing myself to let fear set in. I have often felt I had no control over them, that when they showed up I had to accept them and ride it out so to speak. I tend to start getting scared when they don't go away right away but just this last week or so I have realized it does take time to settle some storms down but they do settle. I need to be willing to be patient and persist in positive thought patterns that allow that to happen. I now try to ignore them and return to the thoughts that they interrupted as well remind myself they have no control over me unless I cede it to them.

For me, I give God credit for making me aware of my anxious behaviors.

Toughest battle I have EVER faced in my life has been the aftermath of this injury. I think with a healthy dose of patience I can actually come out of this a better person for the things learned.

I think it is working as sleep is becoming more dependable the last 2 weeks and I am handling those fierce storms that wake me much better. Worry about being able to handle the next day's work has been a big reason for lack of sleep I think and I have been making major efforts at blocking thoughts of work out when I go home...I tell myself not to allow worry to ruin my time with my wife in the evening.

Sorry about the rambling.

Bud

Good post MVTBI. Similar to yourself, it took around 13-15 months for me to accept the fact that I was depressed, and that this might be contributing to my current state. Prior to my accident, I had never had mental wellness issues and correspondingly was ill-equipped to both understand and deal with my new reality.

Compared to my first 8 months, I am definitely in a better place, and is likely attributable to time and antidepressants. As my pharma regimen continues to be tweaked, I've learned how much these impact who you are. And this has made me start to wonder the same sorts of things you're evidently considering. Will I ever not be depressed? Will some of my memory and other minor cognitive issues go away if the depression abates? Will I ever feel "normal" again?

My hope is that the answer to these things is "yes", but it's difficult to believe that it will be. However, having a community like this to ask these questions and have them answered by others facing similar, often worse, challenges gives me some hope.

Thanks for the thoughtful post.

As someone who suffered from PCS before, fell into depression, lost friends and possibly the love of my life, I can tell you that it is absolutely possible to feel normal again. I made a full recovery in 7-8 months after my first concussion. Hang in there, it does get better. Hopefully at some point it'll all just be nothing more than a bad memory.