Now suicidal thoughts
 

Hi,


So for those who don't already know I'm around 10 months in with post concussion syndrome.


Now, I feel done. I cannot bare this one symptom any longer. There's just this one symptom that has been bothering me this whole journey and I've had enough. It's this dreamy/numb/foggy feeling in my ENTIRE body.


It's been here all along. Ever since I hit my head. It's usually at a moderate level which I can handle, but with activity it gets so high it's hard to tell whether I'm in a dream or it's reality. It can get so bad that I can't even talk to someone in a conversation, or walk around cause I can't feel my body.


I don't know what it is. And I almost feel like no one else does. I try to discribe it to my doctors and they all look at me like I'm nuts. Some people on here have thought it was a bunch of things, anxiety, neck issues, etc.


I'm still not sure. But I just had it. Been going to camp all week and it's making it so much worse. It gets worse with activity. I feel like no one with PCS has this and no one understands it around me. I honestly don't know how much I can take it any longer and I've been crying a lot and having suicidal thoughts.


Also been trying all different treatment.. Nothing has worked yet.

Sam,

Have you had your Thyroid hormones and other Thyroid issues checked ?

It's a simple and common blood test. Ask about it.

Thyroid problems can also lead to depression.

No I haven't gotten it checked. I think my depression is just mainly because of this crazy symptom.

Could this be something else other than the concussion? I've had incidents BEFORE my concussion where I felt like this for a short time.

Could it be something like derealization or depersonalization ?

Or a combination ?

Like I said I honestly don't know. Which makes my depression and suicidal thoughts worse because I feel like no one can help.

Derealization or depersonalization are not conditions. They are just symptoms of something else.

Your previous issues would support getting this blood work done. Thyroid issues and such can make all of these other symptoms, depression, fatigue, dreamy feelings, etc., much worse.

And, stop trying to day to day critique your condition. You need to endure day to day but your recovery is a week to week and month to month situation.

Sam I saw some studies online that seem to think de realization and depersonalization can actually be caused by head truma so it could certainly be this.
As you mentioned, who knows, it could even be something else.
My advice to you would just do you best to relax, as hard as that is, and consider getting on some medication.
I felt a lot like you , and about 6 weeks ago I started lexapro, and it really helped with my mood swings and my depression. It made me feel hopeful that someday it will get better.
Finally remember that you are super young. You have lots of time. Certainly someday, someone will be able to help you or things will naturally get better, and you wil be a stronger person for having to go through it.
Ps I saved a kitten a couple weeks ago and it has also really helped distract me. He's great company. This might apply to you if you are an animal guy

Sam, was it you who was taking Amantadine?
Are you still taking that or tapering off that?

Yeah that was me. I am now off amantadine. Was on it for about a month and a half and it did not really do anything. Was not helping nor making me worse.

I think I was doing 50mg twice a day? Don't remember

Thanks Sam.

I just wondered. I thought it may have had something to do with the way you're feeling right now. I guess not.

Mark, who do I ask to get this blood work done? My pediatrician? Or someone else?