DB journey to sobriety
 

13 days sober. Out of rehab yesterday, and is now home. Will attend 10 days of day patient therapy and then down south to a rehab retreat for 4 weeks more intense therapy. While away, I'm to attend 4 therapy sessions to assist me in my journey to his sobriety. So much to learn.
He is home, safe and sober and on Antabuse which for two weeks I have to give to him, then he has a blister pack for his next 4 weeks and when home again, he is responsible for his own meds. No visitors allowed while away down south.
He is quite unwell still, the catalyst to sober living was a diagnosis of Barretts oesophagus and severe gastritis. Today he has terrible stomach cramps and bad diarrhoea, how long do withdrawal symptoms last?

Wise to Have a Medical Evaluation
 

Hi PamelaJune,

He has done well to commit to detox and additional programs! :D

I had searched a bit about the length of withdrawal symptoms for alcohol withdrawal:

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/a...oms-treatments

According to timelines I have seen on the net, the symptoms of withdrawal are usually gone or almost gone at this stage. This info could be erroneous and/or there could be exceptions, of course.

I am wondering if the severe stomach cramps and diarrhea are more from the gastritis than the alcohol withdrawal?

I also wonder if the diarrhea might be caused by the antabuse itself?
Diarrhea is listed as a potentially serious side-effect of antabuse, warranting emergent action according to this drug information site: http://www.rxlist.com/antabuse-drug/...de-effects.htm

Also, did he have lab work done at rehab?
Did they check for pancreatitis and check on liver function?

If liver function was checked at rehab before the use of antabuse, it may be important to re-check liver function to see if antabuse is causing, or adding to, any liver-related issues.

I am thinking a physician would need to sort out the real cause of the diarrhea at this stage of recovery.

I hope a physician can fully evaluate him ASAP.

:hug:

DejaVu

Hi PamelaJune

Writing as somebody who is in remission from psychological, not physical, alcohol addiction, I think that DejaVu has offered you some great ideas.

24hr doctor
 

Had to call locum GP to the house on Sunday he was that bad, after 8 quick trips to the loo and 1 accident - I rang the GP as I googled and saw the Antabuse does have listed diarrhoea to seek medical assistance. So the Doctor arrived and suggested he go to hospital, DB declined.
GP thinks it's the gastritis and or the Antabuse so has to stop that for a few days. Seeing our own GP on Weds and hoping for a referral to gastroenterologist, possibly the one who diagnosed the Barrets and gastritis in the emergency gastroscopy he had in July after vomiting and up black blood and passing it. Not a well man I'm afraid.
He dragged himself out of bed today and attended his first outpatient day therapy, said it was heavy going and with the stomach burn must have been so hard. Sadly his best friend alcohol of 35 years has been slowly and silently poisoning him and only now he has realised. It's been a huge 6 weeks I can tell you and we have many more challenges to come by the sound if it.
Thank you Dejevu and Kiwi for your advice, very grateful to the NT site and users, such a fantastic group of people who come together and offer advice and support.
Will post in Weds after seeing our own GP.:hug:

Hi PamelaJune,

I am glad DB will be seeing a GP on Wednesday.

Very happy to support you and DB in any way possible.

I have had several loved ones go through detox and treatment programs for alcoholism. Some have done very well. :) This often also takes some level of commitment on the part of family/friends.

DB has a very committed support person in you. :)
Take good care of yourself as well. ;)

I hope DB feels better ASAP.

:grouphug:
DejaVu

Pam....I sent an email instead.
D.

Pam,
 

My daughter dealt with a cocaine addiction for several years. Finally, after attending a couple of rehab 6 week out patient programs; she has been drug free since 1997.

Drug and Alcohol addiction is difficult for all concerned.

Pam, want you to know thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband and family.


Gerry

Pam,
 

Were you and your husband able to see the doctor on Wednesday? Hopefully he has been referred to a gastroenterologist. Having so many medical issues makes attending the outpatient day therapy even more difficult.

This has had to be extra difficult for you especially with all your 24/7 pain issues.
Pray both of you have the strength to get thru what lies ahead.


Gerry

Hi Pam,

I am sorry to interrupt here, but I can't find a way to send a private message on this forum?

I am looking at getting an SCS, nevro with a lamitrode surgically inserted. I was told it was a done deal, but getting the walkaround from the surgeon. You are one of the few people I have seen who has had this done, I just wanted to find out where you had it done and where there any particular compatibility requirements with the paddle lead (from another manufacturer I assume).

If you could email me ** I would appreciate it.

Best Regards,

21 days
 

The road is long and hard for us both, my friends on here are just the best, you give me such hope, support and advice and I will always be grateful for NT.
We saw the GP Wednesday, she doesn't want to refer him to a specialist until he has finished these 2 weeks outpatient care and his 4 weeks inpatient care down South, but did tell him his gastritis and barretts is severe and it will take months for his gut to heal and he will need 6 monthly gastroscopies.

Blackwood is a new clinic, they specialise in addiction and recovery, specifically alcohol dependence and ice users who graduated from alcohol to ice. Such an insidious drug and this makes it a challenge for DB given his job as a DDO (drug detection officer) not the fact they are or have been users, but when back into mainstream work he runs the risk of being recognised when out and about. So, he is growing a beard, unshaven now for a week and looks dreadful. A small part of me hopes he doesn't keep it long term...

He says the cravings are not as bad as expected, but some days and hours are worse than others. He is learning a lot and is with a good group of participants at the moment.

Don't know who will be at the clinic down south but he is hopeful they will be a good crowd and not like a number of them discharged from the clinic up here in the city the fortnight he was in. The hospital only holds 30 and is always full. There was a group of 6 there in the 2nd week who were very immature and spoilt, sneaking out over the fence, encouraging boyfriends to break-in, friends flying drones over the rooftop and dropping drugs in... so the hospital had to go into lockdown, 24 of them just got in with it, but it meant no one could go outside and smoke. The 6 set off the fire alarms twice, as soon as the alarm went off the fire doors open and out they dashed to smoke. All 6 discharged the next morning but they were very disruptive for the remainder of the night and the other 24, many of them mature patients like DB were frazzled and suffered with anxiety and panic attacks.

Like I said, the road to recovery is long and hard, I have to attend meetings with the city clinic staff while DB is down south, a part of the program is partners have to commit to attending a minimum of 4 sessions. I'm hopeful it will give me tools to use that will benefit us both in the long run. I have to overcome my fear of being out on my own, this crippling feeling of not being able to even go for a simple walk is just stupid.:hug:

Self-Compassion
 

Hi PamelaJune,

Glad your husband has been seen by his GP.

I have always found it exciting/hopeful when family members have made a commitment to face alcoholism, detox and commit to a treatment program.
Sometimes, the same family member was making his/her 4th decision to follow through, and I still found their resolve exciting and hopeful. I feel it can sometimes (probably often) takes more than one attempt at detox and treatment.

It seems there are often subsets of clients whom are not serious about detox and/or treatment and are sneaking in drugs and/or drinking when out on privileges, etc. This can feel discouraging to those with a serious commitment, as the various "games played" often also take from the program for those there meaning business.

I hope your husband's healing, on all levels, will go well.

I have been to many Alanon, Adult Children of Alcoholics and public AA meetings. As I have mentioned, many people in my family have suffered/do suffer from alcoholism. I have always found benefits to attending these meetings.

I hope you will also benefit from the meetings you will be attending. :hug:

Is the anxiety about going out alone a new anxiety?
It's truly not "stupid," by the way. Maybe feels stupid to you though?

I have watched a friend of mine become agoraphobic just since her husband has passed on. In her case, the anxiety was based on old issues, again resurfacing in her life. There is often a very good reason for these types of anxieties. ;)

Be ultra-kind to yourself (self-compassion) about this, about everything. :hug:

You and your husband are in my daily thoughts and prayers.

Offering support, Love and Prayers,
DejaVu

FYI:
I don't remember the number; but you have to have a certain number of posts before you are able to send/receive Private Messages.


Gerry

Pam,
 

When my daughter was in rehab, I had attended sessions for supposes, family, etc. I found them very beneficial. Learned many signs or indicators of the thinking that addicts use or do.
One of the benefits I received during her rehab in 1997 was after many years and attempts; I quit smoking. Both her and I have had success with her last program in 1997.

Very unfortunate your husband had a group of very mature individuals. Often, their parents or part of a rehab program imposed on them. They really can be disruptive because they have no desire to be there or want to quit.

I'm sure you will be grateful for these session. The insight and understanding will be something that will be lifetime information and knowledge that will help both you and your husband in the years ahead.

Prayers are with both of you as you continue this journey.


Gerry

Ptsd
 

Hi DejaVu, thank you for your strength and support. I shouldn't use the word stupid, what I should have said is it is frustrating and driving me lower and lower. I suffered PTSD after my MVA, I am now a destination person, I only go out if I absolutely have to. Getting back to work was a step forward but lately even that is becoming a bigger challenge by the day. I can't put my finger on the "why" it just is. I used to love to go outside and go for drives, now loud noises fill me with fear and I no longer enjoy the outdoors. I even struggle sometimes to answer the phone and talk to people in fear they will want me to go somewhere. I have looked at and considered agoraphobia and am very aware I could end up a sufferer unless I can address it now. I'm hoping the meetings for DB will lead me a pathway where I can find more energy and encouragement to deal with it now. There is no time like the present. I'm seeing my PM within the next month to deal with the severe pain flare ups and have a referral to a new psych. So much to do and so little energy. Pain mgt is all consuming when it is not under control. I'm also having more blood tests, I have regular vitamin B12 injections but I might be lacking in iron? Just tired, so very tired all the jolly time and fed up with feeling this way. I used to be energetic even when in pain but now zero. I will get through this, I'm determined to be a better me and see in this Xmas without a hospital stint!

Hi Badsport, I didn't end up having a combined Nevro SCS with another brand. It was only briefly discussed and the Nevro rep seemed to be the one pushing for it if I couldn't get enough pain relief with the one lead. It became up to me to track down a surgeon who would do the paddle lead and refer me to another SCS brand, along the way I did some more research and decided I was not comfortable with having another laminectomy. The first 2 hurt for a very long time, the first one still gave me pain years later. Instead I just focussed on finding a surgeon who could thread the 2nd lead in and get it all working as best it could. Sorry to not be of much help. I became very adept at using Google and YouTube in my research and still find the NT site offers the most advice and support. As a former user used to say, only those who have not had so much success keep coming back, everyone else has healed and gone on to live happy fulfilling lives. And FP to them.

Thanks Pam.

Best wishes.

Very tough few days
 

DB experiencing panic attacks and mental exhaustion. Sleeps deeply and struggling to concentrate. Has bouts of anger over nothing, then feels anxious and sad. This coming months isolation is looming and he is frightened he won't cope, even though he knows the group of people he will be there with it is still daunting. Think he is afraid he won't like the person he will become and that's fearful when he already doesn't like the person he is. Lots of old stuff coming up, things he has never dared face. My heart breaks for him, this coming 4 weeks will be our first ever in 25 years with no contact at all, I'm frightened too.

Sending a hug...
 

Oh Pam...what a terrifying situation for both of you.

One thing that popped into my head when you said he may be fearful of the man he will become....can you put together a shoebox or album of hardcopy photographs from early on in your relationship or marriage, say the first few years, for him to take with him? I think that is a time in a marriage when everything is new and sweet and loving. Perhaps it will be a reminder of the good times and the good man he was then and maybe he can return to that man? If nothing else, they will be positive beautiful memories to get him through. Also, when my husband and I have been apart for a stretch, we hide notes, cards, letters, trinkets, in each other's socks, shoe, jean pockets, toiletry bag, etc. It really makes one feel loved and thought of. Note sure you can do that at rehab though.

Also, the communication hiatus may be emotionally difficult but, I think it will make him stronger as he will learn to deal with his issues minus alcohol and minus you. Think of that strong man who will be coming back to you. What he has been through all ready is just amazing. They will have docs and psych help and he will be well cared for.

Pam, maybe use the time to focus on yourself. You have had so much going on with your Mom and hubby and your job and health issues. It will be like a gift to have time just for you. And a month to deal with the new anxiety that has become an issue when going outside.. Maybe the full court press of stress these past months have taken their toll on you....Lessing the stress with your husband and Mom away may be just the break you need to deal with your own issues.

Well, I'm getting droopy, it is 3:20am and my Ambien is finally kicking in.
Sorry if my post is a bit rambling.
Just want to say I think you are both way stronger than you think, and you will
fare well through the 4 weeks.

I will be cheering for both of you.
Love, D.

We Are Here for You, Pam!
 

Hi Pam,

My heart goes out to you both during this time of transition.

Your husband is still going through withdrawal and emotional detox.

I can honestly write: Most people I have seen go through alcohol/drug treatment programs access additional coping skills and become stronger people.

Some go through some degree of an "identity crisis." Sometimes, this depends upon when (at what age or stage of development) someone became "dependent upon" alcohol/any substance, and if they had time to form a firm identity prior to taking up heavier types of drinking.

Most, if not all, go through all kinds of emotions, including lots of anxiety.
Alcohol is known for it's emotion-numbing effects. When we detox, the old stuff, including lots of emotions, come up to be dealt with. The full detoxification is an emotional detoxification, as well as a physical detoxification.

When someone goes through alcohol and/or drug treatment programs, many people around them also experience some anxiety. This often creates a major shift in life and will also create a major shift in your relationship with one another. I think it's a shift you will each like/prefer. It may take some getting used to, however, as we all tend to interact with partners in a habitual manner.

Issues of "addiction" -- whether alcohol, drugs, food, other -- are issues of "dependencies." Any of us having lived with others with addictions may have our own addictions and/or, in the least, have likely played some degree of a co-dependent role in life.

In close relationships, if one person shifts (changes), room is made for another (or others ) to also shift.

It's "normal" for both individuals in a marriage to feel the marriage/relationship is potentially somewhat threatened when someone goes through a treatment program. This may be felt on a conscious or subconscious level.

I don't know of a program requiring a month of no contact with a spouse or with family. However, I do know some programs make this requirement.
A month of no contact can feel like a very long time.
Diandra has offered some wonderful ideas on ways to be "in touch" with one another without breaking the rules. ;)

My husband and I also do similar things -- leaving notes and small gifts around the house or in suitcases/clothing when we must be apart for lengthy times. We have fun with this. :)

(((((( Pamela ))))))
(((((( DB ))))))

We are here for you.

Love and Prayers for you both!
:hug:
DejaVu

Pam,
 

Diandra seems to have come up with some very good ideas. DeJaVu as well. 4 weeks without contact does seem like a long time.

Hopefully this is the right program for his recovery. Trust in yourself as well as him the outcome will be successful. One day both of you may look back on this with fond memories. Your relationship becoming stronger.

Are you still employed? It would appear to be next to impossible to handle working; but possibly you are able to have had time off with the ability to return. This might really help get thru the upcoming weeks ahead.

Thoughts and prayers are with both of you.

Gerry

Went to the carers session last night, sharing of stories with a mixed group of parents with Ice addicted teens/adults in various stages from"happy users" to phases of recovery, spouses and or parents of alcoholics. The 4 week down south seems to be very very positively received not only for the hope it brings but for many the release and break from the ongoing trauma many of these people are or have been living with daily. Heartbreaking stories with so many consequences and many relapses.
DB has been in contact and is eating healthy and exercising, we are allowed to exchange messages daily by IPad but they recommend no face booking etc. They had their first outing yesterday with many experiencing strong cravings incl DB.

Pam,
 

Thank you for sharing.
It appears this is a good experience for you. It is so important for family/close friends to share their experiences, as well as getting guidance. So good to learn hubby is really putting a real effort in this program.

Both of you are in my prayers daily.


Gerry

Fish n chips outing
 

They had a day trip out to the beach and fish n chips. Too cold for swimming, most exp anxiety and kept close.

Amazing bravery....breathe....support is here and out there
 

:hug:

Pam ~ Thank you for being so open and candid. This will help someone when they need it the most. This is very brave of you and I am super impressed.

Have you looked into joining an Alanon group? There are quite a few that go there that are dealing with people who are not just addicted to alcohol. It is just something that I found that helps because it is face to face every week (if you go to multiple groups then as often as you like) and a support group to help you during those hard times almost immediately....they are only a phone call away, day or night. They help me with day to day issues, other family member problems, and myself.....the myself part is the hardest and it gives the best results.

Good luck to you on your journey, here's praying for calmer waters!

42 days
 

DB still in rehab, 42 days sober and seems to be immersing himself in all available treatment. His journey to sobriety and self discovery has come at a costly expense.
Hard to believe he will be home in less than 10 days, the time has flown by. All the things I had hoped to do while he was gone remain undone; move the limestone retaining bricks for the wall out back, move the paving bricks to where they need to be put down, sort out the reticulation, repair the hole in the pond and blow vac the back yard. I told my work colleagues and they looked at me wordlessly, I went on to say I've grown up a lot lately, I realised I'm not well enough to do those things myself, in fact physically not at all. They looked at me in relief, big steps for me to really and truly admit I am no longer physically able to do these things, but I confess I did get the trolley out of the garage ready to begin the jobs.
Little wonder DB has felt like he has a load on, he has been wanting to do 3 of those jobs for the last 5 years. Imagine looking at those bricks and pavers everyday for 5 years wishing he had the energy but instead the energy went to fighting his demons, dealing with work, the animals, my shitty health and running round after my ever demanding family. Sinking into alcohol oblivion must have looked ever so inviting. Once he is back at work and we have some money coming in again, I am going to get the retic man in and a handyman for the yard jobs. DB is a perfectionist and perhaps he might enjoy giving the handyman a helping hand. Either way, they have to be done.

Pam,
 

While you may not have accomplished the jobs you assigned to yourself; you seem to have taken on a whole new view of yourself, as well as what your husband has gone through these past years. Supporting him is #1 on your list of things to do.

Praying both of you have the love and strength for continued success of the "road to sobriety".


Gerry

Pam,
 

It sounds like you are making leaps and bounds in your part of the journey. This is loads of work and it is not an easy thing to do. It would wear anyone out. I know from experience. I have been there and I have survived. You can do it too.:hug:

Pam,
I'm sorry but l laughed when I read your post.
We have you beat, a pile of bricks for our "new" front walk piled next to the garage going on 8 yrs! A tree fell thru our deck 2 yrs ago...we had the debris removed but the damaged railings, etc still there.

We all have that stuff around...you were so sweet because it is love for your husband that made you want to complete those tasks...so he wouldn't have to face them when he gets home. Pam, maybe accomplishing those tasks is the therapy he needs when he gets home. He is not going to have his old "crutches" and maybe being outside, doing tasks like that will be really helpful.

You have both gone through so much....both have grown and you are smart and know, his coming home sober, will be like a new life for both of you, and I can only imagine there is a lot of anxiety for both of you as you move into this new phase of your relationship.
Time to pat yourselves on the back for what you have been through.
I hope the center where he has been is helping families deal with the transition.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
What date is he coming home? Want to be praying for you both that day.
My best,
D.

Hi D, he gets home on the 12th. I'm so looking forward to seeing him. Thank you for the photos I love looking at them. :hug:

Home tomorrow
 

DB gets home tomorrow night Sunday 11th. I'm so looking forward to seeing him and hearing his voice. The animals will be beside themselves with joy as well.

I've been told I need to do at least 4 things differently, they don't have to be big, but have to differ from past ingrained behavioural patterns and I need to make time for myself rather than being ever vigilant to prevent an inevitable fall.

Relapse is said to be high and to be expected and I have to let him learn from it rather than prevent or protect him from it. Apparently all those times I saved him from losing his job in the early years by getting up and out and doing it for him meant he was able to carry his burden longer and not face it. I can laugh over it now, I thought I was doing the right thing for us both, but instead I prolonged the agony. Now I have to let him make the mistakes, even if it means he drinks, drives and hurts someone. How hard it is to think that, but, I have to let him go, I have to let him learn so he faces the hard facts if he does relapse. It is not going to be easy. I can live in hope that he has tried sobriety before and relapsed, they say he may actively remain in maintenance phase because he has more to gain this time round, ie his health. I hope and pray he is selfish enough to put good health ahead of the bottle this time, rather than being selfish and putting the bottle first.

I'm so frightened, I don't know what to do differently, I'm not physically well enough or mentally well enough to take on going out by myself, meeting up with people. I am going to try and see a psych one who does hypnotherapy and see if I can overcome my PTSD and crippling fear of going outside. I'm still only a destination person, go somewhere only if I absolutely have to and can't wait to get back home. Nothing like I used to be, loved going for a drive or a walk, kick boxing, to the gym. How can I be different when I'm already different?

Pam....

There's a whole network of people that can help you. Look up codependency on the internet. There are groups that have online meetings for people who for any reason can go out to a meeting. They are anonymous so you don't need to worry about your stuff being shared outside of the group. You can also reach out to these people and they can talk to you on the phone. I wish that I lived closer to you because I could come to you. I know that you feel so alone and lost. You are not alone. There are loads of us out there like you.

I would like you to think about things you can do for yourself. Read a book, do some gardening, take a bath, take a time out to craft or talk to your friends. Even a 5 minute phone call to a friend can do wonders to change a bad day. Also, grownups need timeouts just as much, if not more, than children do. Naps are another way to take some time for yourself and daydreaming works too. The possibilities are endless but you need to choose something because this is for your well being.

Thankyou
 

I so cherish the wonderful people on this site, people who have become loved cyber friends. I've just been reading another thread that left me with tears coursing down my cheeks as I read the comments and statements and in some instances just testing of the facts to suit their own thought patterns. English Dave, I well remember Shipman, I lived in the UK then. I just want to say thanks on this forum thread for all the support I have received as DB and I grappled with his journey.

My dilemma to find 4 things different to do is not that I don't do anything, I do garden and water every day (even in winter), I walk the dogs and play with them as much as I can, brush the cats and enjoy them, read books actively, take long baths with candles to relax and on Friday invested in a bath caddy so I can lean back and read instead of struggling to hold the iPad above water lol. I Skype my friends now rather than landline calls so I can see them, I love that! I watch movies and follow many tv series, I record them all and watch when I can, I've gone back to work 3 days a week and deliberately don't talk about my work at home.

I guess I say I'm frightened about what I need to do differently when I'm already different is because I'm not the active person I was before. To do something different is hard, I've already made so many changes to accommodate my declining physicality. I'm worried that anything I do differently won't be perceived as such by DB because I have already changed much in my life and he won't see it as different.

The one thing I can see I need to do different is I really need to get myself up and out that front door just for the fun of it, not because I have to go for work, shopping, dog care or destination only reasons to leave the house. To do this I need help with my PTSD and that's why I'm thinking hypnosis. Loud noises outside set off panic attacks, screeching car tyres, loud revving cars, or swiftly accelerating cars all set my heart racing.

My attention span has gone to ..... I struggle to concentrate or focus on any one thing and I flit around the house doing one thing or another. It's why I started having baths again, it meant I had to sit still in there for a bit.

I've been you tubing a lot lately, the how to do videos are great, I've created a brilliant vertical wall garden out of recycled water bottles and it looks fabulous. I hope DB will like it and I blow vacced outside yesterday, took me well over an hour and I did bits of weeding along the way. But the yard looks clean and tidy, the dogs are happy and the inside of the house is spotless in readiness for his return so he needn't feel overwhelmed with having to do things.

Anyway, it's not long now till he is home and I have a roast pork dinner to cook. Hugs and thanks to you all as you have accompanied me on this journey.:hug:

PamelaJune,

I hope you are not Skypeing your friends while you are in the bath:D The run-on of the 2 sentences read like that til I did a double take.

Dave.

63 days
 

Seems a lot and then you say 2 months and it seems not so much. For DB it's been an enlightening journey, lots of energy while in rehab, back home for a week and none whatsoever. He is in for a wellness meditation / yoga etc this weekend which I hope will soothe him and he found the men's group he attended Tuesday night good value with an agreed focus on communication. Still early days, returns to work on the 24th, it will be the tester. We are both hanging in there and trying hard with our separate but entwined joirney.

63 days on a difficult journey like this can seem endless, it is a remarkable achievement and, counting it as 2 months, another milestone worth noting.

I wish you both the strength and courage you need to forge ahead.

Dave.

Faced work head on
 

Faced his first days back, was very nervous, I reminded him they all missed him for the 8 weeks he was gone and they clubbed in to buy him a brilliant gift and signed a card. The challenge he faces is he works with a group of people who moan constantly how bad the employer is. That atmosphere brings everyone down and its constant. Don't get me wrong, there are many who enjoy working there and provide moral support but overall negativity seems to be rife. I've said to DB if he has to leave, then that's ok, leave. We will get by.

Pam,
These are some rather monumental steps that you are both taking. Pats on the back to both of you for what you have both conquered and new challenges you both face every day. He is back to work after rehab and you both endured that. You had gone back to work with many difficult factors to overcome but you did it AND you dealt with his rehab...WOW.....and now, you are going to pain clinic.
Please take a minute to breathe deeply and savor your efforts and your accomplishments. I know there are still tough roads ahead but, you two have both proven you are up to the task. You inspire me Pam. God Bless you both as you endeavor to make your lives everything you want them to be.
D.
.

102 days
 

I am so grateful to my beloved. When we married, I took my vows seriously, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer etc. DB the same, here we are all these years later, many ups, many downs, but together nevertheless. Pooh to Alenon and those that say you can't help an alcoholic, help yourself and just leave. I get that, I so get they have to help themselves, but to just leave without trying to stay? What if he had left me in my shitty health debacles.

Even now I have some still say you should leave, and in the carers group, there are many who are in the process of leaving, surprisingly while their partner is now in recovery mode. I get love can die, but it can be rekindled. Marriage is a partnership of love and life, I'm not helpless in my love for DB, I'm grateful to my love for him, it helps make me a better person, to see and hear the emotional pain and trauma he went through and ultimately what drove him to "self medicate" is so understandable.

I'm rambling, I'm sorry, this journey is enlightening to us both and I'm in awe of his strength. Many in his group relapsed in the early days, Those in My group are warned and told be prepared for it, we are told there can be no denial, relapse is to be expected but, they say it doesn't have to be permanent. So long as they can commit to the long term program there is hope.

I'm hopeful and I'm in it for the long term, in sickness and in health. :hug:

108
 

Lots of anxiety this week, DB very depressed and zero energy, it's all he can do to drag himself out of bed to go to work. It's the festive season, everyone is partying and drinking, we are not. We passed by a summer street party last Sunday, he has struggled since, sadly his weekly psych appt yesterday got xld at short notice only he didn't get the notice & he turned up for his 6.45am appt to find all locked up. He says his inner strength is wavering, drink is on his mind every day.

This is the hardest part of maintaining sobriety. Keep the mind preoccupied with games, books, movies, volunteering, cooking, walking, exercise and any other activity that can temporarily overcome those thoughts. When the end of the day comes and sleep ensues then the battle is done for the day.