My husband had a TURP
 

Hi all.

We just came back from the urologist. My husband had the Turp last Wednesday and today they took out the catheter. He is able to pee much better than before when he had an enlarged prostate.

The pathology report was not in yet so we had to wait. When we were called in he asked Alan 'How are you peeing, how's the volume"? He looked at me (because I do all the medical answering) and I said 'His output is fine, he has no problem". I then said "what did you find out from the tissue samples". He said "As you know we send them out to pathology". I said 'What was the result"? He answered: ASAP. He explained that meant Atypical, blah blah. I looked that up when I got home so I know what that means.


Anyway he said (and he had photos of Alan's prostate which was 78% and it was BIG in those photos). He said "the pathologist is going to send the samples out to be stained". I said "why?" He said (speaking of himself) because I'm a paranoid jew and I want to make sure. His exact words. He was trying to make us laugh. I was not laughing. He said "This is probably nothing, but there is a small abnormality (which could be the beginning of a tumor, some irritation, but we have to do staining to find out) (I went home and looked up staining), Actually I looked up everything but there is SO MUCH information on men's prostate, you'd have to have a phd in this subject.

We are going back in two weeks. Alan is peeing just fine, has no pain. (Oh I asked the doctor what are the symptoms of prostate cancer and he said "There are no symptoms" I said "So how do you know how someone has prostate cancer? He said"Well, first we look at the PSA number and your husband's is 1 so that's why I'm not worried.


It seems there are real symptoms when it's found in the late stages.


The urologist said 'don't worry, because I'm not worried, your husband is fine". Is he telling me this so I don't go crazy or does Alan have the possibility of having prostate cancer. I read in an article that most men who have atypical cells EVENTUALLY develop prostate cancer. There is something like a 50/50 chance.


It's all about men and the eventuality of developing this kind of cancer. As they grow older.


This is what Rudy Giuliani had right? And they did seed implantation or something like that.


If we get the report back that he has early stages of this or pre-tumor (or whatever), what are our options. I couldn't get past the stuff I was reading so I couldn't read any more.


I know I don't have any written report from the pathologist. All I have are the words ASAP.


What do you think?


Alan initially had the enlarged prostate which the uro guy said was Benign etc. etc.


Now I hear the word ASAP.


And why does he have to go back in two weeks? Is this a normal follow up to the Turp procedure or does the urologist want to go over this report (when it comes in)? Alan wants me with him because (as he put it). You know how to understand this stuff.


So if any of you have experienced this, I'd love your input. Alan is not worried because he doesn't understand any of this. He just knows they took out his catheter, he does not have an enlarged prostate and as he puts it "when I have something to worry about, I'll worry about it'.

I am not like that, as you can ascertain. So any input is appreciated.

Thanks much
Mel

If his PSA is 1 and he is peeing like a racehorse, then please sleep soundly tonight.
It sounds like he is being well looked after by his medical staff and he has a lovely wife like you to be by his side.
Prostate cancer grows slowly but so far there is no indication of it.

My father had prostate cancer in his early 60s and lived until 89.... a long and happy life
WITH prostate cancer.

Please go out for dinner, order wine and clink your glasses to good health.
My best, D.

I've heard the exact same thing from others. Thanks so much for replying.

Melody

Hi Melody,

I am like your husband. I will worry when I am told it is time to worry. Well, not always, but most of the time. I have had the flip side pop up and be just like you and worry preemptively but that is rare. Then I realized I wasted a lot of worry on something that never materialized. I didn't need the stress.

OK, that being said, I really think you should do exactly as Diandra said, sleep soundly tonight. It sounds very positive (good) to me.

I do not know much about cancer but I have people very close to me that have worked in the oncology field for many years. They would tell you NOT to worry and it looks good from the information provided so far. I have heard them use the terminology you mentioned. I have heard them talk about seed implants. (Not that I know what they are talking about, just that I hear the terminology.)

I appreciate your apprehension but let's consider your husband fine until you are told differently. Losing sleep and worry won't change the lab results.

Staining if I remember correctly from MANY years ago is just a method to differentiate and see cells better. Sounds to me like the doc is being very thorough and having the proper checks done.

REST easy my friend. We will keep you and hubby in our prayers and thoughts.

I put some comments inside of your post.

So glad to hear that Alan is doing well post-op.

Hi.

I'm not losing any sleep. I take a pill for that. If I didn't I would NEVER sleep. I am the only one who takes care of this man. We have nobody. Absolutely EVERYTHING is on me. For the past 14 years (since my son left home to do his thing and never came back), everything is on me.

It's gets EXTREMELY exhausting when everything is on one's shoulders. I have spent countless nights in a hospital chair next to his bed (this was in every hospital he went to). I am the one who cleaned him up (the nurses did nothing). I am the one who helped the nurse change his linens. I got him the water and the paper cups. And I'm the one who walked the corridors (these hospitals are so big, you can't find where the room is). I had doctors tell me 'We can't even find the rooms we need to find'. The numbering system in this hallways do not let you find the rooms. The hallways are hundred's of feet long. I walked them several times a day because I had to go and find the cafeteria to get something to eat. Then, when I couldn't stay overnight any more, I had to walk the long hallways again, go down escalators and wait for a taxi to go home because as I said previously, I am alone in all of this.

Next morning, I got up and did it all over again. This went on for months. Forget what this cost me in cab fare. And now I find myself awaiting a pathologist report (don't worry, I hear you, I'm not losing my head over this).

I'm just tired of all this being on me. And I laughed when someone said: "go out to dinner and half a glass of wine'. Alan is NOT the type of man who would ever suggest this or do this.

See, he has Peripheral Neuropathy, psoriasis and god only knows what else. I have severe arthritis and this morning I could barely move. Thank god I took two advil (which I never take). Never. I have to be in real pain for me to take any kind of pain killers. Normally, I move around and I get to doing what I need to do. But I'm the one who cleans the house, does the shopping, (thank god I use laundry service), I'm the one who arranges stuff. Sometimes it gets a bit much when it's all one your shoulders. I'm just getting tired of all this stuff on my shoulders.

My son should be here helping me. He is not and never will be. It's just hard sometimes. That's why I worry. And about everyone dying? Here's my theory on that.

We are all energy. Energy can neither be created or destroyed. We are all energy so when our time is up, we just transform. Into what? Who knows. That's how I see death. It's comforting to me to think like this. Works for me.

Let's just smile and hope for the best and I do thank you all for thinking of me. I just wish my relatives would do the same. Never going to happen.

Love, Melody

Hi Melody,

It saddens me to read your post. It is very difficult to be the care giver when one is young and very healthy, but having no help and having your own health issues make matters so much harder with no relief in sight. I wish you had some help and a better support system. It is very tiring to be the ONLY person and never have a break from providing all the care.

No matter how much love there is for the person for whom we are the care giver, it is still a very hard road and a very tiring one. Please remember to take care of yourself, too.

You won't be of any help to Alan if you are down with your own health issues. It is not selfish to want and need some time for you to rejuvenate and regenerate. Any chance you could get a neighbor or a friend to be with Alan for a short time so you can get a break?

So sorry to hear the arthritis was so bad that you had to resort to taking medication when it sounds like that is a last resort for you.

Thanks for sharing your feelings.

Hi.

My salvation is that every night about 6:30 p.m. I sit on the porch with my landlord (who is my best friend), her daughter and all the neighbors come by and comment on my new wig. I became a blonde (as you can see from my profile picture). I get such a kick that no one recognizes me, that they all think it's my own hair and we have a ball. Alan sometimes joins us but with the Turp and the catheter, well, it's been awhile. But it doesn't end there.

At about 8:30 p.m. all I have to do is walk a few yards to the corner (and I take my landlord with me) and we join all my friends who just sit up in the back and have their Dunkin Donuts coffee and cake and we all laugh ourselves silly because all of them have stories to share. They love hearing Alan stories. He has a female fan club. They even phoned him in the hospital and when he came home. They are compassionate caring people. Some of them are even care givers during the day and they come to Dunkin to unwind. I stay as long as I wish because Alan is only a phone call away and I sometimes go back up and just peek in and he's just fine.

And because I speak French and most of the Dunkin staff are from French Morocco, the look on people's faces when they hear me is enough to make one laugh out loud. I speak 5 languages and I get to practice when I'm there. I like learning stuff. Even at my age.

So during the day I take care of my house and him, and at night (weather permitting) I do my socialization. Thank god for that. They even go there during the winter so I always have someplace to go and sit and just chill for an hour or so. I know absolutely everyone in my neighborhood and we all look out for each other. So I do have a support system (emotionally) but as far as cooking, cleaning, serving, folding, cleaning bathrooms, getting in and out of taxis (that's the hard part), going to hospitals, back and forth, well it would have helped if my son had been there for us. He never will be and THAT is what is the saddest of all. I quit a perfectly good job because I had no choice. Believe me, I was a multi lingual administrative assistant and made good money back in the day. But I had to make a choice, so I chose to stay at home, and do typing for judges and lawyers and I got nothing in return for that. Adult children will do what they will do and my son even told me a few years ago when I asked him "Why did you leave, you had a family"? He said the following to me and I have an Idetic memory so I remember every conversation I have eve had.

He said "Let me ask you something, would you have let me stay at home, you support me, I don't have to work, I could stay home, go on my computer, play my games and you would take care of me?" I responded (this was over the phone), I said "What the h kind of mother does that"? He said "Now you know why I left". It seemed he planned the whole thing. He said "I always knew I would never work". He had a full scholarship to college. He was a genius. He graduated, left home and began a journey of gambling and gaming, that no one would believe and that was 14 years ago when Second Life and World of Warcraft and god knows what other games had just started to come out. Gaming controlled his life. And look what's happened since? You can't pass a kid on the street without seeing their faces in some phone,playing some game, going on FB and doing nasty stuff. I see this all the time.

But I digress. I have rarely spoken about this. Everything we did was for nothing, and I think that triggered Alan's severe psoriasis outbreak. He has never been the same. And the best? I once asked my own family "How come you never ask about my son"? And I was told "Well, we are so uncomfortable, we don't know what to say" So they never phone or do anything.

It is what it is. Thank god I got help and my friend who is also a fellow sprouter and happens to be a psychologist put it this way "your son is not the child you raised". So I put up boundaries and up they will stay.

It really changed my perspective on life. But one has to survive

Melody

P.S. Oh I have a new wig. I now look completely different. rofl.

Hi Melody,

I don't know what to say after reading your post. That is so sad. You raised your son and this is how you get thanked ???

Enjoyed reading about YOUR multi-lingual talents, your prior work, and some of your many accomplishments. Glad you have some friends and social outlet but it would really be nice if you had some household help.

Wishing you less pain with your arthritis and other ailments. Sure hope Alan continues to have nothing but good news and easy flows. :)

Well tonight was interesting. I went to Dunkin, all the gang were there. Alan was coming. I told them "Alan is coming' and all the gals were clapping (I kid you not, the guy has fans). I even made a video and if I can get it on youtube, I'll share it.

He was beaming, and he sat down on his walker next to our landlord and all our neighbors and friends. We sat there just socializing. Only for about 90 minutes but we got out of the house.

And now he's sleeping and I'm on the computer just watching movies (which I love to do on youtube). Thank god for youtube. It has everything.

If I ever figure out how to get the video uploaded (I'm usually able to do this), I'll post it here if it's allowed. It just shows Alan walking into Dunkin Donuts and everyone getting excited to see him.

It did him a world of good.

I will never be able to get help. So I don't cook much. We get meals on wheels I(thank god for that) and I keep things simple. At our age it's the best we could hope for.

You have a good night and thanks for listening.

Melody

Bad news. Back in hospital this morning. Had fever 103.5. I am I ER now with him. Will update when I can. They think its a UTI from removal of catheter.

Melody

On my gosh. So sorry to hear the news. Please keep us posted when time permits.

We are thinking of you and Alan.

Imagine six paramedics in my bedroom looking at me. I say "he recently had a TURP procedure and they look at me completely clueless and I blurt out TRANSURETHRAL RESECTIONING OF THE PROSTATE ,AND HE HAD THE CATHETER REMOVED ON WEDNESDAY" And they said Oooohhhhh.

Now I am answering all the questions in ER.

Thank god I know his complete medical history. Keep warm thoughts

Will update.

Melody

Bad news. Back in hospital this morning. Had fever 103.5. I am I ER now with him. Will update when I can. They think its a UTI from removal of catheter.

Melody

Hi Melody - Sorry things aren't going so well for Alan - hope he improves soon.

Well done you for putting the paramedics in their place. It's an indictment of the system when we reach the point of DIY doctoring.

I enjoy reading your stories and love your sense of humor - not only do you always keep your own spirits up but you raise ours as well.

Take care and look after your own health.

I am so used to this place I could live here. Been back and forth with him since March.

Fever is down, chest xray shows pneumonia but till he pees they cant rule out urinary tract infection. So pray that he urinates. He is so tired. He sleeps and is snoring.

Will update, melody

Love and Prayers
 

Hi Melody,

I have been keeping track of you and Alan, even though I have not written.

I am sorry Alan is experiencing complications.

Continuing to offer Love, support and prayers.

(((((( Alan ))))))

(((((( Melody ))))))

:hug:
DejaVu

Thanks much. They put in a foley and he is resting okay. Will update when they culture for a urinary tract infection.

Love ya all

Melody

Melody,

You must be exhausted! :hug:
You and Alan have been there for many hours now.
I hope you both get to sleep comfortably tonight!

Thinking of you both.
Warmly,
DejaVu

Hi. I came home tonight to sleep and I will go back tomorrow. I have been texting back and forth with Alan's primary care physician who is also our friend. He told me they will give him 3 or 4 antibiotics tomorrow and that he will be seen by an infectious disease specialist.

GET THIS. As I am typing this (It's 10:42 pm..), my cell rings and it's the urologist who did the Turp. He said "What's going on?" I said 'What do you mean, didn't anyone contact you?, I gave them your name and told them you did the Turp". he said This is the first I heard of it that's why I'm getting back to you"

I brought him up to speed at what I knew, "that a sample of his urine hadn't been delivered as of 9:20 pm for culturing and that an infectious disease specialist was going to check on him. He responded "I'll have my guy there tomorrow morning and make sure whatever he needs to be done is done".

Who the H is going to sleep tonight (even with a pill).

Don't know how much more the both of us can take. I mean really.

And he's septic.

Everybody keep praying.

Melody

Please keep us posted as you have done today. Sure hope you get some "good" news soon. You sure could use some.

Communication in the medical arena sure seems to be lacking in many instances.

Ain't that the truth!!!

Will keep you all updated.

Melody
P.S. I forgot to mention that a lovely woman approached me today as I was sitting by Alan, and she asked me 'Would you like me to pray with you?" I said "of course, that would be nice". I asked her what her faith was and she said "I'm a Quaker". I have never met a Quaker. So we prayed and she held Alan's hand. What a nice lady

Sitting in chair next to him. He is on more antibiotics. He is alert. Ate breakfast. Ordered a cheeseburger for lunch. Temp is 99.5.

They are putting Jim in a chair. I however have absolutely no appetite. Until this is over I will eat only enough to stay alive. That's how it hits me. Been doing this for months. Lost weight. Hey, whatever works. Don't worry, I eat what I need to eat. I'm good.

Will update. Thanks for all your support.

Melody

Thanks for the update. Good to see Alan's temp down.

Hi Melody,

Wow. :(

I am glad you have heard from the Urologist. I am also thrilled Alan's temperature is lower. :hug:

I hope all medical staff will be at the top of their game today!

I hope you have gotten some rest.

Offering continued support, Love and Prayers -

:hug: :hug:

DejaVu

Hi. No medical staff because of holiday weekend. Skeleton crew. I made friends with a six foot seven nurses aide, showed him a west point video on my tablet. Told him Alan was in military over 40 years ago, he smiled, announced he is former navy, they swapped stories, and THAT's how Alan now has new sheets, clean pillow cases, is sitting upright in a chair and they found me a doctor who discussed all urine and blood work with me. Too hard to type this on my tablet but the just of it all is he has pneumonia and a UTI.

When I go home later I will go on my computer and update you.

Love, melody

Hi. Came home and I just phoned the hospital to see how he was doing. Spoke to the same guy I spoke to last night. Alan is okay and sleeping. The guy said "Remember I told you I would send out a urine sample last night?" I said "yeah, and the nurse this morning said there was no sample sent out'.

He replied "I did send it out and now there are two results". I said "oh, I believe you, so I gather the results are the same?" and he said "yes, he has a urinary tract infection and we are waiting for the cultures".

I thanked him and that was that.

So to sum it up, Alan has a UTI, and pneumonia and is being treated with lots of antibiotics, ate up a storm today, had three meals, even asked for a bagel, no fever, blood pressure was a little low earlier. It was 100 over 42 and I said "WTH". and the guy took it again and it went up to 100/52 and then it was normal from then on. They have no idea why. But when I left he was normal blood pressure so I guess his body is fighting these infections.

And oh, you will love this. Alan is diabetic but is not on anything and if he would keep his mouth shut he would be completely controlled.

But he likes to eat and he has to lose weight. This is a no brainer.

I also know that when a diabetic has an kind of infection his sugar reading will be higher than normal.

Alan has bacterial pneumonia (I asked if it was viral or bacterial) and they said "because he responded the way he did and his lungs are clearing up, we know it's bacterial". So he has two infections. I know when they did the finger stick, his sugar might be higher than usual. It was 246.

I said to the nurses aid "this is probably because of the infections, because his last meal was 4 hours ago". She said "Infection doesn't raise blood sugar". I said 'oh really" I beg to differ, if one has a massive infection and is septic one's sugar might go up"

She adamantly said "absolutely not, his sugar reading has nothing to do with his infections".

Okay, everybody jump in and either take my side or her side. rofl.

Melody

P.S. Forgot to add one thing. When they brought him his dinner tray there were three containers of juice. One apple, One grape, One orange. I looked at Alan and said "Are they out of their mind, your diabetic, you should never be brought this". Believe me, He would have drank all three. I then went to get the nurse and I said "Alan's sugar was 246 right?" she said yes. I then said 'THEN WHY ON EARTH ARE THERE THREE CONTAINERS OF JUICE ON HIS TRAY???" She looked at me and said OMG, seriously? she ran in and took two of the containers because he was drinking one of them. She then said "I will make sure he gets a diabetic menu" I then ran after the food lady, found her and said "My husband is Alan, in 4828, she said "yeah, I just gave him his food tray". I said "Yes and there were three containers of juice and HE'S DIABETIC?" The look on her face was priceless, she whips out some piece of paper that indicates he is to be on REGULAR dinner menu. I said "change that right now". It never ends.

Hi Melody.

I am a bit late checking in tonight!

Had to see a man about a horse. Literally. ;)
Nothing exciting enough to discuss tonight. Lol!

Alan is so lucky to have you looking out for him! :D

Oh, the skeleton crew on holiday weekends... seems a bit neglectful.
Do they lower their rates when they short-staff the hospital? No.

My husband had an eye injury needing two days at the hospital, Sunday and Monday. The opthamologist then said, "I want to see you on Thursday. I am "on call" Thursday morning and then I am gone for a few days. (Holiday weekend.) Come in at 8 a.m. on Thursday so I can, hopefully, get out of here earlier for my weekend." (Sure, whatever you need, doc, because it's our job to take care of your needs. ;)) Waiting for her at 8 a.m. as per her request; she showed up at 9:30, had "slept in." :confused:

Thankfully, we are both convinced she is an outstanding opthamologist, with a fantastic bedside manner. ;)

Poor Alan. So glad the infections have been located and are responding to medications. :)

You must be exhausted, Melody! :eek: :hug:

Thanks for the updates!

I hope you both sleep well tonight!

Love and Prayers,
DejaVu

Back at ya!!!

We are both exhausted aren't we? lol

I don't know where I get my energy from.

Must be all that Methyl B-12 I take every day. lol

Melody

Melody,
 

I pray God will grant both of you spiritual and physical healing, as well as the strength to cope with all you are going through.



Gerry

Very kind of you Gerry. Thank you

Melody

I hope so! :D
I've been enjoying the B-12 and the methyl-folate. Very helpful to me!

Good night, Melody!
:hug:
DejaVu

Melody
You're amazing - I want you beside my bed when I have to go to hospital next - can we clone you? :D

Seriously, with what you've had to go through it's no wonder you're exhausted. Please take a little time to rest yourself now you know what is wrong with Alan and hopefully he is on his way to recovery. You'll need your energy when they discharge him.

Take care - you're in my thoughts.

Dont worry about me. I have my sprouts, my colloidal silver and my methyl b12.

And today i learned about Arterial blood gases.

Fascinating. Lol

Melody

I am guessing they did an ABG on Alan today??? (arterial blood gas)

OUCH !!! Wow, they hurt. At least that was my experience and also everyone else that I have ever spoken to that has had one drawn while conscious.

Hi Melody,

I am signing out for the night. Wanted to leave a note for you.

Still thinking of you and Alan. :)

Hope all is going well.:hug:

Support, Love and Prayers,
DejaVu

Alan had blood gases drawn. I watched the whole thing. He was smiling through it and joking with the 6 foot 7 nurses aide who did it. The big guy initially said "that's the wrong needle, what is wrong with you nurses". Then he did it and Alan didn't even flinch. Then I looked up ABG and I asked him "didn't it hurt?" and he responded "yeah".

He never let on. And here's a good one for you. The lady who does the blood pressure came with the machine. She took his blood pressure and it read 130/117. I said "wrong, take it again". She did and it was 130/108. I said 'Wrong, take it again". then it read 130/42. I said 'well, what do you know, that is an impossibility because he is just fine. She said "I better go and get the manual one". She took it two times. 130/70.

I looked at Alan and asked him specific questions. I said 'Alan, during this whole blood pressure thing did you feel palpitations, chest pains, any heart beat change, ANYTHING AT ALL?" He said "no, I feel absolutely fine'.

I looked at the lady. She had no comment.

Oh, his phosphorous is low so they are giving him phosphorous and will check the level tomorrow morning. He has no fever, he eats like a horse, and this morning they took out the catheter and he peed his head off all day long (getting rid of all that fluid). He announced "I haven't peed like this since I was 20". I guess the Turp worked and the antibiotics are getting rid of the UTI. I spoke to his doctor on the phone earlier and he said he had Hospital induced Pneumonia and a Urinary Tract Infection, etc. etc. He may even go home tomorrow. Now how a 68 year old man who was completely disoriented Saturday Morning can go home tomorrow is beyond me. But then we have had people praying for us.

That's a great thing!!!

Will update tomorrow.

Thanks for all the support. Much appreciated.

Melody

Well, I am a dummy. He did not have arterial blood gas, he had veinous blood gases. You should have seen the look on the nurses face when I asked about his arterial blood gas. She had this look of horror and said OMG NO, He didnt have a ABG he had VBG. And then I realized why Alan didn't yell during the whole thing.

So now we are still here waiting for antibiotics to take home. His urine culture indicated a gram negative bacterial infection (small one they said). Hopefully he'll be discharged soon.

Keep praying. Will update

Melody

Hi Melody,

Just checking in.
Thanks for the updates.

I am sure it will be nice to settle in at home today, once you both get home. :)

:hug:
DejaVu

Melody,
 

I know you have your sprouts and Methyl B12; but; you really are AMAZING. I don't know how you keep up with all that is continually going on. Alan sure is the center of your world as you must be in his.



Gerry