Another Night on the Wall (Part 2)
 

We don't need no REM...

Yes we do, but the misbehaven nerves will not have it. Thankfully, much like my first post here it is not a work night, so I can indulge the discomfort, relieve my incredible best friend of 21 years of my tossing and turning and pull up the ottoman to muse for a bit with like afflicted individuals.

It is raining at the moment, I just heard water coming down a gutter so this all makes more sense. Weather eats at me like sugar a cavity. I honestly feel like my nerves are a cavity and there is a gummy bear stuck to them. That sort of pain.

I have been pulling off force of will level pressing on for many reasons & will continue to for some of those reasons. Adjustments are in motion on others. My wife and I are both of the mind I am unlikely to be fit to work to standard retirement age. Ok.

Not ok, but ok.

So, what now. Well now we plan and formulate and figure out what the heck all that means and when and how and if we can afford to have me be Mr. Mom. I have no issue with the concept of it, rather with how it is coming about.

Thankfully, I don't think it is something that has a quick timer on it. Of course, I also thought I was on a pretty good trajectory at the start of this year.

I will close with saying that making positive changes to my diet, exercising to tolerance and trying to maintain a positive focus are key. On that last point, I fall flat on my face often. How can I not? Some days I can't button a shirt well, my pens fly out of my hand and I walk like I am doing the Bambi.

But I find a laugh, or an act of kindness to bestow or see some beauty or someone who is obviously working harder than I am at their day. Perspective.

I hope you find this after a pleasant nights sleep or when you are comforted, but if it is on a bad night or you are rough off, you are not alone.

And the sun also rises.

My best,

Jon

Wishing you sleep
 

Hi Jon

I hope you find some sleep soon. Only 9pm here in New Zealand. I know it can be exhausting when you don't get enough rest and it can knock even the most positive people. Hopefully some catch-up sleep in the next few nights for you. I take Melatonin which helps a little.

Sounds like you guys have got some important decisions to make. I hope that you can find a good way forward. Glad you have a long term best friend. ( :

Take care and sleep well soon

Indigo





QUOTE=KnowNothingJon;1170487]We don't need no REM...

Yes we do, but the misbehaven nerves will not have it. Thankfully, much like my first post here it is not a work night, so I can indulge the discomfort, relieve my incredible best friend of 21 years of my tossing and turning and pull up the ottoman to muse for a bit with like afflicted individuals.

It is raining at the moment, I just heard water coming down a gutter so this all makes more sense. Weather eats at me like sugar a cavity. I honestly feel like my nerves are a cavity and there is a gummy bear stuck to them. That sort of pain.

I have been pulling off force of will level pressing on for many reasons & will continue to for some of those reasons. Adjustments are in motion on others. My wife and I are both of the mind I am unlikely to be fit to work to standard retirement age. Ok.

Not ok, but ok.

So, what now. Well now we plan and formulate and figure out what the heck all that means and when and how and if we can afford to have me be Mr. Mom. I have no issue with the concept of it, rather with how it is coming about.

Thankfully, I don't think it is something that has a quick timer on it. Of course, I also thought I was on a pretty good trajectory at the start of this year.

I will close with saying that making positive changes to my diet, exercising to tolerance and trying to maintain a positive focus are key. On that last point, I fall flat on my face often. How can I not? Some days I can't button a shirt well, my pens fly out of my hand and I walk like I am doing the Bambi.

But I find a laugh, or an act of kindness to bestow or see some beauty or someone who is obviously working harder than I am at their day. Perspective.

I hope you find this after a pleasant nights sleep or when you are comforted, but if it is on a bad night or you are rough off, you are not alone.

And the sun also rises.

My best,

Jon[/QUOTE]

wishing you sleep
 

Hi Jon

I wrote a message to you then accidentally wiped it! I'm sure this site is out to get me! Anyway just wishing you good rest and sleep soon. And that you and your best friend find a good way forward with the decisions you have to make.

Sleep well very soon

Indigo ( :

I did get five mostly uninterrupted hours in a row. I turned into James Cromwell and said, "That'll do pig, er REM, that'll do"

Rain all day into tomorrow...

So it goes. I will be nicely packed onto my favorite chair, with my ottoman and a warm beverage. It isn't ideal, but it is better than many things I could think of while typing this line.

Yup.

Jon

Just an idea, what about working from home. If in U.S. Can you get the rehab services in your state to help you find a job that you could do. Of course there is disability that could pay you. Just know that the payments are based on your last quarter earnings. I know cuz I have been on it.

Thanks, one I could consider, though it would have to be a new job. I work for the local government and for any number of reasons it is at the building or not.

So, yes, I could potentially be an earner from home, though not in my current position.

I'm not rushing into any decision, but I'm also faltering on the head down into the strong wind approach.

So sorry you're having a rough go of it now. But being married to your best friend of 21 years...how awesome is that!?!? If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.

I agree with Janieg.....21 yrs is awesome! Please, Jon......know you're not alone. While I don't have pain, I have much shaking and numbness. Terrible discomfort! I cannot ever fall asleep! I have to take a sleeping pill every night. I hate it.......I am always sleep deprived.

Musings
 

I am still trying to adjust to the whole retirement thing. I was forced at age 61 and I know that many,many have to go quicker. Its hard in America to feel good unless you turn off the television and get over the whole"keeping up with the Jonses" thing. OK here it is, my feel good tip for you. Who in their right mind would spend 40 to 50K on an investment that will eventually be worth zero? As long as my vehicle isnt fogging mosquitos with blue smoke I'm keeping it. So what if it doesn't brake by itself. So what if it doesnt have 15 different communiction and entertainment systems. Hope you can stick it out but if you can't you will still have lots of company.Good Luck, Ken in Texas.

Glad to hear you ended up getting a bit of sleep. I completely understand the fear of being unable to work. My youngest child just went off to college this fall, so there's no kids at home that need to be cared for. But still of course there's bills to pay and retirement to save for, etc.

I'm riding the roller coaster of symptoms like many here. Some days not so bad, and I think maybe maybe I'm healing up. Other days not so good, and I'm afraid I won't be able to work much longer. (I have a somewhat physical job, lot's of walking and climbing stairs, etc.) This disease messes with your mind that way, doesn't it?

I also have a great wife. Some of the things she always says to me are "Take it day by day", "We're in this together", or "I've got your back". Those of us that have a loving spouse or partner are truly blessed.

Keep up the fight :)