Still suffering and losing hope
 

I continue to suffer greatly with no decrease in symptoms. In fact I seem to ge worse with time. There was a short break in July-August but other than that light sensitivity continues to worsen. I just passed 15 months and coming up on 11 months from when I hit my head again and the real problems started.

What's the point of fighting? I don't know how many more days I can backtrack to resting and doing nothing. My brain cannot handle conversation or anything basic and it hasn't for a long time. I can't go outside in fear of the sun especially now with the snow glare. Amazing to think last year at this time I was writing formal lab reports for physical chemistry class and performing advanced mathematical equations. Too bad I ruined my chance to recover. I don't think I can keep this up much longer.

Have you tried a long term anti-anxiety med like Celexa, Zoloft, etc. ? It sure worked to help Seth's mind settle down.

The more intelligent a mind is, the more likely it is to be effected by anxiety.

Danny,

Don't quit!

I was at your current timeframe at the beginning of 2015 with no end in sight. I thought I was done and had no chance of normalcy ever returning.

Imagine owning a flying business and not able to fly or even make a decision about work of the sort you have made for years. Couldn't drive, ski, exercise, sleep or sit still. Life as I knew it was in ruins.

I still am not flying but now have hope I will someday.I can make decisions again I started back with a gym in Dec. 2015 and going to take my grandkids skiing at the end of this month and precious sleep is returning and I'm safe on the road again.

It just took time, patience and an ounce of hope. It is slow progress for some of us but progress does happen...hang tough.

Bud

Have you tried wearing glasses for your photophobia? These could give your brain the rest it needs whilst giving you more freedom and help keep your spirits up. http://www.theraspecs.com/light-sens...y-photophobia/

Never give up. One day you'll be glad you didn't.

There aren't enough expletives in the english language to get across how much this sucks Danny, I don't know what else to say other than what I keep telling myself - wait, if you can't do it for yourself right now, wait for your future self, and for those you love. This has to pass.

Have you tried any new therapies or seen a behavioral optometrist? Trying something new always provided me with a sort of infusion of hope which can get me through darker times.

Hang in there please; it gives people like me hope.

Mark,
I tried taking lexapro (5mg) and one dose increased my visual phenomena dramatically. This still hasn't abated. Safe to say serotonin drugs are out of the picture for me, unfortunately. Still battling the gabapentin withdrawals btw...

Bud,
Thanks for the support as always.

Doozer,
Great link! I'm kicking myself for not doing a search for those glasses myself. I've been wearing dark sunglasses inside. Hopefully these will work.

Laupala,
I'm in the process of finding a suitable eye practioner in my
Area. I was evaluated back in July, but as you might recall my symptoms were improving at that point. I'm definitely gonna get in to see someone soon and start working on this. It's just strange how I've gotten so much worse. Must be the stress I've had to deal with.

Louise,
Don't be discouraged by my post. I was having a rough day and sometimes you just need support from the great people here at Neurotalk. They have once again provided some answers and hope.

To everyone,

I have an appointment with an opthamologist who i think specializes in brain matters and is supposed to fit some lenses. I also have an MRI to check on the pineal cyst in my brain and I suppose to clear all other possibilities. I'm hoping for the best.

Just remember, the body changes. It's not a car engine. If something goes wrong in a car engine, it stays that way until fixed. If something goes wrong with the body, it is subject to change and improve. The body is a dynamic system.

I can empathise Danny. I'm at 27 months now and, after attending a concussion clinic, am actually in worse shape than when I began it (I finished it>2 months ago). Conversations and public settings remain difficult for me. Time with the family remain challenging. And my constant headaches that are greatly intensified by the above remain debilitating. However, my attitude compared with my first year is very different now...

I realise going back to my dream job is not likely to occur. I realise that I can't have a social life. And I realise that my family is what's important. With all of this, for the most part, I've come to accept this is my life. Maybe it'll change in the future, maybe it won't. Unfortunately with post-traumatic headaches, they remain intractable for some, and I'm evidently one of them.

So, with my new approach I don't rail against my symptoms. I don't wish for my previous life at this point, and I don't sink into that dark place that still knocks on my door. I weather the bad days and look forward to the less bad ones where I'm able to do a few small things that I choose.

Hang in there. I think acceptance comes with time, not pushing things too hard, and not hoping for the miracle instantaneous cure. Keep searching, but if accept where and who you are now things get easier.

Best of luck

DannyL,

Has your doctor suggested trying a SNRI med ?