My best jokes ever!
 

Humor Southern Style

A Florida senior citizen drives his brand new
Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking it down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair
he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew
down 1-95 pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida
State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too
old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's
arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his
vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked
at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.
Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for
speeding - a reason I've never before heard - I'll let
you go."

The old gentleman paused then said, "Three years ago
my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought
you were bringing her back"

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the state trooper.