Prayers for Doydie and her husband...
 

Praying for a sucessful surgery for Charlie today. Let us know how things went and how he is doing. Take care of yourself too!:hug:

absolutely, without a doubt sending prayers for both of them.:hug:

Me too! :hug:

I hope everything went well, Doydie. Please update us when you can. :hug:

Thank you so much ladies. Yes, his surgery was last Friday and this is Sunday. i carry my iPad in my bag and I have never tried to log on with my iPad anywhere and when we have been getting home it's straight to bed. Everything is progressing well and I got a good night's sleep last night. My daughter went straight to bed tonight since she has a 3 hour drive after spending tomorrow morning so here I am trying to catch up with life; I had dozens of new emails. I think it was some one here that gave me the link to Spirit which has many medical forums. I have posted there and haven't really had time to look to see if there are any answers. I have just had the iPad and today the free wi-fi was shot.

So, here i am. Surgery went well. The only thing that caused any problems was the amount of fat he had to cut to get to the colon. I guess this is old fat since with the ulcerative colitis he has trimmed down a lot. Now that is something he needed to do anyway but not the way he did. It is the tiniest incision. ONe of the nurses asked if it was done laporascopically. I have no idea how in the world the could pull out all of those feet of the large intestine through a scope but it is tiny. His but incision is giving his the most grief. He really started to produce stuff through the stoma and the nurse and I were emptying it this afternoon and I got a good look at his face as he could smell it. This nurse has never put a bag on and I was giving her some tips. It is the most awkward way to empty it also.

Yesterday his urine output was real low but they got that taken care of. Tomorrow the pain pump will go. The on call surgeon said discharge on Tuesday but the nurse reminded him that the ostomy nurse has also ahd a 3 day weekend so we have not been taught anything at all. So it more than likely will be wednesday. I have the first appointment with my dentist on Thursday to make impressions for a partial so if needed my youngest daughter would stay with him until I got home.

I am tired but it is nothing like last year when he had meningitis. This time I am in my nursing mode. Last year everyday was panic mode. Daughter going home tomorrow. When my 2 girls get together you never know what antics will happen so I gave them money and told them to get out and come back in an hour. DH and I had a very restful hour and it helped my sanity.

doydie,

I am glad all went well. It's unfortunate the ostomy nurse is off for the weekend. It would appear she will be most helpful for all concerned. I can just imagine the look on his face when you were helping the nurse who had never put a bag on before.

It was good to learn your daughters were there for support. They seem to get along very well together.

Both of you and your husband continue in my prayers.


Gerry

Thanks for letting us know...take care of yourself too!:hug:

I'm glad things went well with the surgery. I hope Charlie heals quickly and adjusts well to having an ostomy. I'm glad you made your way to the ostomy forum. I think you will receive lots of help, ideas, suggestions, support, etc. over there.

Keep us posted on how Charlie is doing!:hug::grouphug:

It wasn't officially said but it sounds like tomorrow is discharge day. My husband is very stubbornly independent that he will do well. We met the ostomy nurse today, full of ideas, and she will return tomorrow to change his bag and instruct us along the way. She has already signed us up with all the companies to receive all sorts of samples in the mail to help us choose what works best for us. Physical therapy will work with him on stairs. Main problem is bloating after eating so he isn't eating much.

It may take a bit for his appetite to come back. The surgery and anesthesia alone will do that. Bowel surgery doesn't help either. It was months before I got my appetite back. Maybe some soft foods will help as well as protein drinks. Lots of protein will help him heal quicker as well. They had me on 120 g of protein a day based on my height and weight. I got some whey protein powder from Walmart and made protein smoothies 2-3 times a day.

I'm glad the ostomy nurse ordered the welcome kits for you. It's nice to have options to try and, like I mentioned, you can call the companies if you want to try other things.

doydie,

Really appreciate your keeping us informed. Hope Charlie being stubbornly independent will help him keep a positive outlook. It appears all went well with the ostomy nurse today.

I'm sure both of you are looking forward to getting home. tkrik is quite helpful with sharing her experience and ideas.


Gerry

i'm glad to hear from you about your dh.
i hope once you both get home things will fall into place.

sending prayers for healing your way.

All is doing very well. So far he is self care but we haven't had to change the bag yet. We changed it the day before he left the hospital. That was on Wednesday, they are supposed to stay 5-7 days. His doctor's appointment is next Wednesday where we will have to put a new bag on then since the doctor will want to see it. Wish it could stay on all the days between but i don't think it will. Guess I will have to get my nursing skills out and brush them up and try to do it like she showed us Wednesday. I did it fine with no prompting on anything. It's just that this time she won't be on the other side of the bed. I think this time since I still have to be doing it I will at least have Charlie cut the whole on the seal for me so he can at least learn that.

His doctor called today to check on us and to let us know the pathology was all negative.

doydie,
This really has to be quite an adjustment for both of you. Charlie must be relieved to finally end his dealing with the effects of the ulcerative colitis. Thankfully the pathology was all negative.

I would imagine how quickly filling the bag would depend on the amount of food he has consumed. Was he given a special diet?

Praying the transition will go smoothly for both of you.


Gerry

He was told to eat whatever he wanted to, just to remember to CHEW!!!! He is a fast eater and that will be hard on him. But yes, what is in the bag is dependent on what he eats.

Did the first bag change at home tonight. I hope next time I can help him do it standing up. It's not that I don't want to do it. But i know he needs to know how to do it in case I am not available. But he has to be standing up and his butt still hurts and he refuses to take any pain medicine

men are so stubborn. i used to give my parents all kinds of advice which they usually ignored. once when their dr gave them the same advice they began to see me as a nurse and not just their daughter.

He actually took some medicine last night but it really didn't change how he slept. He apparently passed some kind of drainage through his butt incision this afternoon and has less pressure.

Charlie had his 1st follow up appointment today. The last couple of days he has had this hard area right above the top of his incision. He has called them masses and they scared him to death. I knew what they probably were but I couldn't convince him of that. So right after the nurse took his staples out, the doctor took a small blunt instrument, well actually it was a the opposite end of a q-tip and gently inserted into where the top staple was and the bloody pus just flowed out. So after he was done expressing it all out, he packed it and now I will do that 3 times a day. Just the difference of what he got out this morning and what I got out this evening before bed was huge. I hope this doesn't take to long although there is still a hard area there which hurts him. I am glad he totally trusts me in putting this medicated gauze in this little hole. And then I clean his sore bumm with warm paper towels. It still drains awful but there was no pus areas that needed to be packed. The doctor said that many times he has to pack both areas so am glad it is just the one although if we were packing Charlie would feel like we are doing something for the bumm. I guess God knew what He was doing when he matched up an RN with this stubborn grumpy guy. It was softened him a lot and we have sure done a lot more hugging since surgery. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

you both are so strong. it's a blessing you're a nurse doydie.
i hope your dh con't to improve and feel more like himself (ugh, well, sort of).

thanks for the update.

I wish I could get my fella to get up and walk. His gas, bowels, well everything would feel so much better. If he didn't need to have this wound packed 3 times a day, I feel like just leaving for a day would make him get up and do for himself. No, I dont' do things for him. If he wants a drink, he has to go get it. Same with his routine medicine, and food. We usually eat at the same time but he doesn't want to eat the same things I do, fruit, veggies, light sandwich. So he does get pretty much all his food.

doydie, does he say why he doesn't want to be up doing things?

maybe there's a reason that you could help him deal with this.
i'm glad he's up and around tho. it takes time.

Judy, he just says the gas pains are to bad. Our short walk today didn't do any good that I can see. We will keep it up though since I also need it.

wow Doydie...you have a lot to deal with!! Males can be so stubborn...then they wonder why they often end up in a fetal position in a nursing home:(:(
He needs to understand that moving is life!! If he doesn't move, nothing else does...the digestive system reacts to movement too!!
Hope he can begin to understand that you are there to help him heal...prayers for you for strength!:hug::hug:

I had the same thought as Judy...Does he say why he doesn't want to get up and move around. Pain would certainly be one reason he doesn't want to get up and move around. Once the pain is addressed, he'll probably start moving around more. Has he tried Beano or something similar for the gas? I had a friend tell me about it after she had surgery. She said it helped tremendously. Was Charlie's surgery done laparoscopically? If so, I have heard that that can cause terrible gas pains. His poor systems is still trying to heal and figure out what the heck just happened. Give it time. He'll come around once he is feeling better.

Hang in there! You are doing a great job of encouraging him and taking care of him. :hug: It takes a while to recuperate from such a major surgery.

Again, thanks so much for your concern and help. His surgery was regular abdominal surgery. I know he is depressed but will never take anything for that. His Mom had severe mental health problems and he doesn't want to take ANY medicine that is directly or indirectly related to helping the brain. We have walked two days now and so far he hasn't seen any relief. But we will keep on trying. His appointment with his neurologist is tomorrow and I know he will remind Charlie what walking will do for his Parkinson's.:hug:

Went for 1 month check up today and i wa able to hand over the car keys to him!!!! Thank the Lord. I no longer have to be 'critiqued' by him for every movement I make with my driving.

He still does have this hole the doctor had to make in his incision on his first week check up. I am packing it 3 times a day. it is gradually getting smaller but it's still there. But when I finish, we always get a good kiss and that NEVER happened before surgery. Wish I had the money I was saving his insurance since we aren't using home health to do it. Well I wouldn't want him to kiss the home health nurse anyway.

doydie,

Thanks for the update. He obviously appreciates all you are doing for him. You really have quite a sense of humor.


Gerry

Another ostomy bag fail today. I just changed it yesterday. I am beginning to check for poop outside the bag every time I do the dressing change and sure enough my finger found poop at the top of the bag. His poor stomach looks terrible. Will be calling the ostomy support nurse tomorrow. But he still has ultimate trust in me. Maybe it's because he has no desire at all to change it himself. So I guess in his eyes me doing a bad job is better than him having to do it.

Doydie, it's a good thing you're a nurse because any other person would probably be waving the white flag and calling for help!

I think you have discovered the secret men have been using on us women for decades......."So I guess in his eyes me doing a bad job is better than him having to do it". ;)

Went to see ostomy nurse today and she is having us try some different methods. One big thing is that when he stands up the stoma is different shape than when he is lying down. So we need to use this convex thing that hopefully will be our solution. I'm sure glad insurance pays for all of this.

doydie,

I know there was concern about depression. Is he doing okay? This has not been easy for you either. You put a bit of humor and then forge ahead.

Pray the incision will soon be healed completely and changing the bag will become much easier and simplified.


Gerry

I hope the convex wafer helps. I did not do well with the convex wafers. They created too much pressure around the stoma and by the 2nd day of wear, I just wanted to rip it off as it would start hurting. I had a flush stoma and ended up building my own convexity with Eakin seals and a moldable wafer. It ended up working great for me. I am glad you have an ostomy nurse working with you to find the best solution that will work for you. Remember, you can always call the various companies for free samples to try. I used ConvaTec and I loved their customer support. They were great. I also used some Coloplast supplies for a while and tried many different types of their products as to me they felt lightweight. But, I reacted to their products like I did Hollister and ended up only using their barrier strips when needed for extra protection (like swimming). You guys will find something that will work for Charlie and changing everything will be like brushing your teeth. It just becomes habit so quickly.

I hope he is healing well and overall doing better. It is quite an adjustment. :hug:

Gerry, yes he is depressed but says he will never take anything for it. His Mom had several mental health disorders and the treatments scared him although he realizes that for many years she was on a medicine that kept her very sane.

tkrik, thanks for your input. He is on day 2 of the convex wafer and so far it is OK. His stoma is not flush to his belly. I was wishing it would be but it looks pretty much what it looked like at time of surgery. Also the size is 1 1/4 inch and she has a 1 1/2 convex bag on him. She says it is because when he stands up, it all changes shape. I sure hope she is right. We ahve one more sample from him and then asked the company to send us a sample, since her is a 2 piece and the one from the company will be a 1 piece and clear. I have problems putting the opaque one piece bags on.

The stoma size will change. I can't remember the timeline exactly but maybe 6 weeks to 3 months before it settles down on a size. Is the ostomy nurse having you use an Eakin seal or something similar to compensate for the size change. That 1/4 difference may cause some issues. Also, maybe trying a moldable will help as it molds around the stoma creating a turtleneck effect. I know ConvaTec and Hollister make them. It maybe worth trying. I had a hard time with the one piece as I couldn't see through the bag well enough to put it on due to the flush stoma. I ended up using a 2 piece system and it was so much easier and less room for error.

Again, it takes some time before you find something that will work. And, what works now may not work in a month. Check out the different companies websites and if there is a system you think might work, request samples. I went through a lot of different samples to find things that would work for me. Hang in there! I'm rooting for you!:hug:

tkrik, we do have one with a moldable barrier. I will have to look for it. The bag we put on Saturday failed yesterday and the bag I put on yesterday failed today. The leak seems to always be around his belly button. And his belly button is deep, so it gets full of poop plus the poop around his stoma. Then after I finish all that and get a clean bag on, i have to clean that mess up and clean my hands really good so I can pack his belly wound. I am very thankful for the long brown bags that I think it is Hollister sent in their goodie box. It has something like 12 plastic bags in it. I also got a bag in the hospital. I don't know if they have some sort of odor resistant in them or not but after I tie that sucker up I don't smell the mess in it.

His stoma does seem to be a little flatter but still the same diameter. I don't want it to be flat.

Thanks for all of your help. It sure helps to talk to some one who has been there. I also enjoy the Spirit forum, informative and funny.

doydie,

tkrik really is so helpful sharing her past experiences and ideas. Especially the support that in time, it will one day be like "brushing your teeth. Pray that will be soon.

How are the "kisses" going? You sure deserve a whole bunch of them.


Gerry

Gerry, we have been to frustrated to share any kisses. Thank you for reminding me of that. He did such a good job of pre-cutting some bags today with his fat fingers trying to use these scissors that I do need to give him that big hug and kiss and remind him of how much I love him.

doydie,

I can only imagine the frustrations both of you are going through. You have been experiencing so many "downers'. Time to start getting all the "ducks in a row" and the supplies that work best.

Prayers for both of you.


Gerry

Aw Doydie! I'm sorry about all the leaks. I know after my surgery, the leaks happened everyday!!! It was so frustrating and was tearing my skin up. Between the allergic reactions to the adhesives and the leaks, my skin looked horrible. Eventually, we found a wafer that did not cause allergic reactions and after a few months, found a routine that helped the leaks. If I remember right, they said it could take up to 6 months before things settle down. I hope it's not that long for you and Charlie. I think it took me about 3 months to finally settle in to a routine and the right products for me. I also eventually used the barrier wipes which were a skin saver. I highly recommend those.

Again, the moldable wafers may work great for Charlie as he doesn't have to cut anything. He just has to mold the wafer to the size and shape of his stoma. I don't know if he gets tremors or not, but with shaky hands I found the moldable to be much easier to work with.

Also, the bags you got to dispose everything in are great. I think Hollister is the only one that has those. I used disposable diaper bag things. They are really inexpensive. I think they're made by Arm & Hammer. I know some people use the bags that are made for dog poop and say they work great and are inexpensive as well.

Hang in there! It's such a huge adjustment for both you and Charlie. :hug::hug: