Can't do it anymore.
 

I'm sick of this game. The constant ups and downs. Being unable to go outside for a walk. Unable to talk to people normally. I'm ready to leave this world. I've tried very hard to find answers to my problems but they don't exist.

We're in this with you Danny. Please hang in there. Seek the right medical help if you need crisis prevention.

If you're alive there is always hope. Just let this wash away. You don't have to figure out anything. Just survive the now. The ups and downs will get smaller over time. They will. Just hang in there.

DannyT - I've been where you are now many times throughout my PCS journey. It does get easier after some time, trust me on this.

I remember sitting by the window in ear plugs and sunglasses and literally watch the grass grow because I couldn't do anything else. My fiance left me saying "that she couldn't take it anymore", I was having Xanax withdrawals in a bad way and couldn't sleep for three or four days straight and constantly in pain and dizzy. My boss was saying that I'm just "allergic to work" and my family/friends telling me to "get over myself and stop being a baby".
My workout used to be to get out of bed and walk to the dining room table.

What I take from those very bad days is the understanding that anything that I'm having now is way better than how it was back then.

If I become depressed now, I look back and realize that it's not that bad, I've been through much worse.

Unfortunately we're "silent warriors" as in no one can see our pain and struggle on the outside, yet we go through very-real-to-us battles every day.

Not sure if this helps you any, but I thought I would put this out here.

Dear Danny, I want to send you encouragement and support. You are suffering but you will see improvement in a little bit and one day in big bits. Your brain will continue to heal as long as you live. Neuroplasticity is real.

That does not mean that you're not suffering. I know you're suffering. I can feel it in your words. This injury is hell and you need to grasp onto the little bits that are good in each day. The beauty of some small thing, a nice memory, belief in yourself.

It really helped me to acknowledge my grief. It's like you've lost part of yourself. You need to grieve. But you also need to talk to someone about how you're feeling. Find someone who cares. Helpline, a support group etc.

There are good days and there are bad days and I wish you more good days ahead. You are important to people and you can do this.

One hour at a time.
Hang in there.
You matter

Hey Danny, so I take it today is not a good head day. I have days where it just seems to hard as well. I cry and have a huge pitty party for myself.
The trouble, it seems, is that on a day like this, it is very difficult to remember vividly that there are days we don't feel this way. There are days we feel, dare I say, not too bad at all.
You might feel that I'm wrong right now, but trust me. Just hang in.


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Danny, I know this is hard. I've been in the same mindset as you. But you have to realize that it WILL get better. If you change your mindset, you will go a long way. Positivity can heal. Wake up every morning saying I got this. Mindfulness Meditation has done wonders for me. There is a great quote by Henry Ford that says, "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're probably right." If you think you're going to get better, you will. Anxiety and depression only make things worse. Here are some links to videos that have helped me. I hope you can find some comfort in them.

The Meaning - Jim Carrey - YouTube
Rewire & Evolve Your Brain - Dr. Joe Dispenza - YouTube

Best to you

Thanks for the replies.


I am dealing with so much loss and grief. I don't understand how my light sensitivity could be so bad. I'm trapped.

Mother of Dr, I was wondering if you could write the name of the video links you put here. I cannot seem to open them. The second one especially because we may be able to fin the first. Thank you.

Danny, keep believing, and keep taking deep breaths. Try to do something little that will make you feel you're progressed. If not in recovery, at least in your life. We are all here. :) big hugs to you.


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Have you been assessed by a neuro optometrists or Neuro ophthalmologist? Sorry if I'm not up to date on your situation.

Vision processing damage is extremely common in concussion and brain injury. I would suggest googling the ghost in my brain and listening to a radio interview or podcast of Clark Elliott ... He's the person who has described the injury the best as far as I have heard.

Tint your glasses can block out blue light which is hard for the brain to process. I wear sunglasses a lot but they have to be Amber not grey,.

All the little things you do can add up to making you feel better.

Excuse my typos. This is dictated and I have lost my glasses .... Again,!

Acknowledge your grief. It's hell. But you have reason to carry-on .


Take care. You're not alone. We need you to keep on keeping on!

Russiarulez

you say in your synposis that you had exteme sensitivity to minor bumps in 2014 such as a hard pat on the back...has this got better with time? Do minor bumps now cause you an issue?

thanks