I have to say thank YOU ALL
 

Sorry I was in pain yesterday, I felt alone and gone in a dark world. I feel like a fool for what I did and said. My life is hell and I should not go off like that what a mess it was.
The darkeness overwhelmed me and took control, I do go to see a shrink and pain doctors, I do all the breathing and relax stuff. some times it does no good when stress and pain are so high. Lord knows my family could care less I feel my wife is far diffrent now she feels like I did something wrong for not working and bringing in the big money, my kids just dont show much feelings they do show the fact money is not there anymore. We live in a great area and money matters! so we might have to go live in a smaller place we can afford, and it wont be on the right side of town how spoiled can we get, I think what did I do I raised them wrong! and my wife has to work and we had to sell some stuff so I'm a BUM for not taking care of them! a druggy, and a faker!
So lif is great so far..

Don't blame yourself and try to look at this from the kids' perspective.

We usually look healthy and it's hard for ANYONE who hasn't dealt with this to understand.

Hang in there.

At some point you have to have trust and faith in yourself - you know the truth about how you feel.
But it does sound like your pain meds and/ or antidepressants aren't doing the best job that they can for you.
Maybe a reevaluation or readjustments of your meds/dosages needs to be looked into??

Thank you for responding. It is good to hear a different side of you. Maybe you did raise them spoiled, however, by having to move "to a different side of town" it may teach them some humility. Maybe your wife too, but don't count on that. As Jo said, it doesn't seem as though your meds are doing their job. Maybe next time you talk to your shrink and doctor you can inform them about it, and maybe get something stronger.

Hugs.

1to Talk
Don't Be Sorry For What You Said. We All Feel Like Tht Alot Of The Time. I Used To Feel So Guilty For What I Could Not Do Anymore. It Almost Ate Me Alive. My Husband Is Disabled Also. I Have Had Pain From Birth, Bad Hip. But I Was The One That Worked, Cleaned The House, Made The Meals Etc. When I Couldn't Do It Anymore I Blamed Myself. When I Had To Stop Working And Has To Wait For Social Security Things Got Real Bad. We Are About To Lose Our House. I Blame Myself For That, Not Working Anymore. This Site Has Made Me Strong. Iam Still In So Much Pain But Being Her Has Helped Me Feel Better About Myself. Keep Coming Here. Everyone Will Help

Love Sue K.

welcome
 

Howdy bro!

Sorry I wasnt around sooner to say howdy, but that ugly RSD monster been kickin my ****. You really did find the best place to come for support, and never worry about ranting and raving. It is better to do it here then take it out on those around you, even though sometimes it is hard to be nice lol.

I totally know where your coming from, my family was waaay spoiled! We had a 20 acre ranch with 2 homes on it. New cars, with one of them being a plymouth prowler, and the wife and kids used shopping as therapy lol.

Lost it all because of this dreaded monster. The creditors were threatening to hurt me, and I would just laugh at them....if they only knew hahahahaha!

One of the ways that I got my family to believe me, is by having my daughter research RSD for me. Told her I wasnt feelin well, and the doctor had said there was no cure. Well she was heart broken after reading the stories, and she is actually the one that found the forums for me. She also swayed my wife into reading some of the stories, and now my wife is totally understanding.

We did move into the smaller place in the worse neighborhood. At first it was culture shock, but we are getting used to it. For me the hardest thing of all was dealing with how I am dragging everyone down the path of desolation with no light at the end of the tunnel. Even told my wife that I release her of any obligations to me, as I know it must be terrible to find out your rosey life is a thing of the past. She wouldnt hear of it though.

I still wrestle with the idea of not being able to change the circumstances, and sometimes feel down right aweful. Hopefully the SSI will come through someday, and I will once again have a couple coins to rub together.

Anyways, you come in here and vent all you want. We will listen and support you, and you will save the smiles for your family :)