Shoved to ground by 31 year old brother
 

I was shoved to the ground by my 31 year old brother after an altercation. I am 26 years old.

The context is fairly important I have been dealing with sound induced vertigo, nausea and dizziness as a result of a brain tumor. Unfortunately, it has been hard to socialize with friends for the past 3.5 years. However, I do try to contact friends every few months. I also socialize a bit at work. Although it isn't easy as the symptoms are quite harsh.

For the past month my brother has been forcing me to try to contact and hang out with some friends. I admire that he wants me to socialize. Unfortunately, 90% of the time I just want to relax and rest. When I have the odd day that I feel half decent I try to spend more time at work or go to the gym.

He pesters me all the time and tells me I am basically a failure and that "maybe I will socialize in when I am 40". In response I said, I will make an effort to contact someone when I have a few consistent days where i feel good. Sadly, I haven't had many days like this in the past few weeks so I haven't bothered.

So generally when I see him he shouts at me at and says "[you] have to move on with your life" "You've always been like this" "Learn to live with it"

My response is that it is very hard to deal with the symptoms and they bother me a lot to the point that I just want to relax. It was really hard putting this summary together, as I am still dizzy and nauseated.

A few days a go we had a long argument that was initiated by him. He demanded that I email a friend right away. He threatened to mark every day that I failed to do this on a calendar.

I took the calendar away from him and said I needed to use the bathroom and we could continue this discussion after I finished.

Unfortunately, he barged right into the bathroom and pestered me from the opened door. I told him to leave me alone and tried to close the door. He opened it right back up and tried to intimidate me.

Here's where I may of messed up. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed him away from the door so he stood a few feet away.

He angrily said, "Don't ever touch me!". Then he punched me 2-3 times and pushed me to the ground. I suffered pretty bad nausea and dizziness after that.

Afterwords he told me I bruised his shoulder. He showed me a small red mark. I apologised and asked him he understood why I did that. He didn't think what I did was justified and thought what he did was.

Finally, I told him I would text my friend. He acted all nice and tried to coach me into how I should approach texting my friend. I told him I knew what I wanted to say. He continued anyway and then left.

I'd love to hear someone else's thoughts on this ordeal.

Hello cerebellarmaniac: I'm so sorry you had this distressing experience. :( (By the way, I have Meniere's disease & tinnitus. So I have some small sense of what you're dealing with.) My thoughts, with regard to what you wrote, are that your brother is abusive, mentally, emotionally & now even physically. You didn't mention, in your post, if the two of you live together. But, from what you wrote, that is the impression I have. Unfortunately, I have to say that this sort of abusiveness rarely disappears of itself. At least this is my impression. At best it continues on at it's current level. However, at least as likely, is that it continues to get worse until some real damage is done.

If this were not your brother, I would suggest that you consider reporting this incident to your local authorities. However, under the circumstances, I presume you most likely do not want to go there. My recommendation is to do whatever you have to do to put as much distance between yourself & your brother as possible before something even more serious occurs. From my perspective there is absolutely no excuse for any of what your brother is doing.

By the way, there is a domestic violence hotline one can call for advice & assistance in domestic abuse situations. I'm sure the majority of people who use this service are domestic partners of one sort or another. However, the NDVH may be of some benefit to you as well:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support

1(800) 799-7233

I wish you peace... :hug: :)

Thanks for letting me know. I really appreciated your thoughtful comments and suggestions. Luckily we don't live together. However, unfortunately he comes to my mom's place (where I live) multiple times a week to work on his motorbike.

I send warm hugs your way, with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within... :Heart: :hug::hug::hug: :Heart: