Attention problems caused by TBI, ADHD or childhood abuse?
 

Hello, since childhood I had often problems keeping focus, forgetting things, having brainfog, unable to normally socialize, missing to hear details in conversations. I also often lacked motivation to complete important tasks but love doing things that give a lot stimulation such as playing video games. I'm have very little social life and very introverted, in fact I have little friends and still can't get girlfriend being 27. These problems caused me a lot of suffering, desperation.
After failure in job and near risk of getting fired I started visiting psychologist and psychiatrist. Also I was directed to go to neurologist as I had TBI and doctor thinks maybe pressure is problem. Psychologist found that I have incoherent attention, good long term memory but poor short term. He also thinks that my could have been caused by childhood abuse as my family was for decades terrorized by violent alcoholic father as well abuse in school. I also do had anxiety and depression but I learned to deal with that myself since nobody would help.

At mid of age 6 I had injury to skull with piece of tile falling from roof. I still remember bloody hands but surprisingly even I felt almost no pain and fully conscious. Now I feel 4x2cm depression in place a bit to front left from anterior fontanelle (they removed bone fragment and replaced with titanium plate?). I do have minor headaches and in are where is dent.
I'm curious how could have been severe TBI in my case

avalon,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Sorry to hear of your struggles.

Nobody can say how bad your brain was injured just based on the skull injury. Your struggles are your only reference. There are a lot of things you can do to improve your life with good counseling.

It is difficult to point to a cause for your struggles. Plus, the cause does not change the way your struggles should be treated.

I've lived with struggles since I suffered a TBI at 10 years old in 1965. I wish I had the help then that is available today. If you accept your condition and apply yourself to the help available, you will do much better.

Please feel free to tell us about your struggles. We understand.

My best to you.

You mean surgery or other ways to relieve TBI effects? I wish others would understand people with such mental problems instead of insulting.
Today I was yelled at job for doing badly my work and it's hard for myself understand how I make such stupid mistakes, seems like I'm disconnected from reality. And damn insomnia and headache is worsening things.
I'm thinking as well continuing studying hoping to find better profession to deal with attention problems. I discovered that high levels of stimulation, psychedelics actually help me focus better.

Insomnia and the resulting poor sleep will always magnify a symptom. You must find help with sleep. Many of us struggle with insomnia.

"I discovered that high levels of stimulation, psychedelics actually help me focus better. "
This is very odd. Most TBI people find that excessive stimulation and mind altering drugs only make things worse. They may mask symptoms.

Stimulating drugs and activities may work for a short period but will usually leave one very depleted the next day or longer.

Question: Is English a foreign language for you or do you have speech difficulties ?

I have a TBI friend who only speaks English but she has a similar grammatically unique style as you.

There are no surgeries (doctor cutting with a knife) that help with TBI struggles but there are therapies that can help.

Different cultures use the term surgery differently so I'm not sure what you mean.

Yes, insomnia causing me a lot of problems and recently had it with tension headaches. I just was fired from job because doing work without attention and mindlessly.
No english is not my native language. But I have difficulty communicating verbally in any language.
I hope to learn that my problems are related ADHD and not serious brain damage as there is way to treat attention defficit with stimulants.

Treating a combination of ADHD and mild TBI with stimulants is not a good idea. The PCS brain gets stressed by the stimulants. It is better to learn how you function well and find a job that fits that set of characteristics. People who take amphetamine ADHD stimulants need drug holidays so their brains can get some rest.

ADHD stimulants do not fix anything. They just provide a poor crutch when you should be learning to live with your limitations. Many of us have reinvented our lives and do fine.

Big question is how you learn to live with damaged brain and good quality life. What kind of jobs folks with similar problems choose here?
How you deal with insomnia?

First, you would want to identify how your brain is and isn't functioning. A Neuro Psychological Assessment can help. It sounds like you have had at least some Assessment done. With a bit of honest introspection, one can often start to put a picture together of how and when you function best and when you function worst. Sometimes, a vocational counselor can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses.

Many cultures use external pressure (parents, family, school, even state, etc) to direct people into careers. You would do best to find a way to avoid external pressures so you can chart your own course.

Keep a journal of the things you are good at and those you are not good at. Include comments about whether you enjoy those tasks.
Track the various environments and work relationships that work best and those that cause stress and struggle.

You should be able to start to see a picture of where you are best suited.

CT scans just came and brain seems to look normal, pineal gland has a bit of calcification but skull structure and sinuses have abnormalities. CT scan doesn't show broken connections that could visible with diffusion MRI.

Yes, I choose specialty not so wisely and narcisistic father had influence as well I didn't want to feel ashamed by choosing more prestige school instead which would have landed me good carrier in shorter time. I have second chance now to study as graphics designer and as well do fine art where I can have more flexibiility but still need to depend on nootropics or stimulants to keep going.

Ultimately I want to live in homestead minimally depending on money. I rather be poor but have peace of mind.