today i became really angry at a few people
 

they didn't do anything they just annoyed me big time. I wonder what kind of cycle i am going through now. one of my friends wrote and asked if my friend was having reconstrutive (sp)surgery-i went ballistic. what a f-ah=another was an 88 year old and another was an 80 year and another was a 74 year old

i think i am angry at everybody except my cats and suri. she wrote me and said she felt fine. then the post office said they delivered packages which they hadn't. another friend upset over her anxiety over trump-i can;t handle it and she is in so much better financial shape than i am. and the list goes on

I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now.
((((HUGS))))
love you,
bizi

I'm so sorry, Bobby.

Irritability could be a symptom of hypo/mania, depression, or a mixed mood, so on its own it is not a good indicator of what cycle you are in. You seem to be in flux right now and I think it will take a couple of days of consistent symptoms to figure out if your mood has really shifted- and where to.

i am not as angry today. yesterday was awful. In the early morning i took care of financial stuff leaving everything to alice. I didn't know til a few days ago you can have a beneficiary at a brokerage house. that stirred up all sorts of feelings towards my nephews. I decided when i am at death;s door I don't want anybody to tell my nephews. I have gotten so angry at them lately. they didn't even visit after the stroke let alone my meeting their children. anyways i told them i was poor so I hope they don't bother alice when i die. I am sure she will outlive me.
ity is probably a mixed mood

I'm so sorry about your nephews. It seems like things are always popping up that just pour salt in these wounds :hug::hug::hug:

If you think you are experiencing a mixed mood, it's a really good idea to get in touch with you pdoc :hug::hug::hug:

yesterday i upped the antidepressants. i felt better. today i won't. He is doing his best. yesterday I bought minutes and time for my new cell phone. I overdid it. I am good til feb 2019. the deals were so good. it is a delicate balance and I think until i stabilize his only recourse is to cut back on the two antidepressants i take and to up the risperdal. He won't introduce another medication. I really haven;t been binging so that is a good sign. what do you expect from him? He isn't a miracle worker. I have faith in him and glad he didn;t do something extreme but is patiently waiting for the mania to go away.you are right about pouring salt in the very old wounds. why? the only recourse is to cut them out .if they invite me to lunch i will go but i won't discuss their treatment of me. I really don't want them to know when I become sick and die.

Did your pdoc want you to up the antidepressants now or did you decide to do that on your own? I'm not judging, just confused.

I you wish you could ignore the fact that you have nephews until they reach out to you, and then forget them again when they're gone. It would hurt you less :hug::hug::hug:

i decided to get more on my own after i became so angry. thought increase in risperdal would act as a control. good advice about my nephews. it really hurts,meeting stella for coffee a little later.haven't seem her i a while since she started working

I hope that things went well with Stella...