My worsening depression :(
 

Recently me and my mother got into an argument of sorts. Mainly centered around my health issues (possible diagnosis of syringomyelia, type 2, scoliosis in all 3 areas in my spine...... cervical thoracic and lumbar, intermittent and sometimes painful neuropathy), me and her went to the er when I was having pain in my neck. The er doc ran an MRI and found a possible case of syringomyelia. He told us about the results. I read about it on the net about I almost immediately lost myself. This was about a lil over 2 weeks ago. I still suffer from neuropathy issues but later noticed that my muscles now would tense up as well a little. She was yelling at me nearly constantly demoralizing me by bringing up my past. Yes I've done wrong in the past but why bring that up when I'm suffering so much pain and agony that you're constantly demoralizing me. I'm already depressed alot because of my health issues some of which are life changing/threatening. In my thoracic area in my spine in between my shoulderblades there is a section where it looks like my spine is sliding off to one side kind of like its being
segmented. Not to mention I cannot sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time 90% of the time. I also developed some issue where certain sounds cause some of my nerves to go haywire. But its usually limited to when its not expected. Hell I hardly play on my pc as a usually do as I start to get sick. I had several orthostatic hypotensive episodes though they haven't been too frequent. All these medical issues are causing me to be really depressed about my future. But my mom constantly bringing up my past isn't much help. But a few days ago she told me something that's haunted me ever since. When we were arguing, I was reminding her about my diagnosis of syringomyelia and what the doctor told me and her. Her response?......."I don't give a damn!". That right there just made me lose it mentally ☹. And she still constantly demoralize me nearly every few days. ☹

Mothers have away of cutting us to shreds. Are you able to distance yourself from her or do you live with / near her and are dependent on her for help? I'm so sorry you have to suffer with her vitriol. Something that often stops them in their tracks is to agree with them (even though you don't). Hang in there :hug:

Sadly I have to live with her, I have no place else to go. She wants me to go to the Philippines but I refused to go. Because something in the back of my mind tells me she plans to abandon me there. And my outcome would be extremely grim. I mean I have been unable to get a decent job because of my scoliosis issues. I can't walk far without being in intense pain. I had to quit my bowling league 2 years ago because of it.