So I'm a 'software guy'...
 

Hi Everyone,

I posted this last night in the 'introduction' area and it was suggested that posting it here might be a good idea. Here goes...

I'll keep this brief, but I could really use some help or insight from people here. I'm a 66 year old software developer. I was in a car accident in April '17 and received a concussion. It's 4 month since that happened. I'm still dealing with headaches, dizziness, foggy thinking, and confusion at many levels.

I've been to doctors. I'm currently receiving routine care, cognitive therapy, physical therapy, and have an appointment with a vocational therapist tomorrow.

Are there any other IT folks out there? I'm really struggling to see any way forward as a developer. The 'creative' side of it - making something out of nothing doesn't seem to be something I can even think about doing. The coding its self is a real struggle. I'm afraid to work on any project I have on my plate for fear of touching something in one place, breaking it in another, and not knowing how to get things back again. Developers will know what I mean :-)

When I talk with doctors/therapists about returning, they just don't relate to what it is I actually DO. I've often said, "writing software isn't difficult - it's just lots of little things". Now it's all those 'little things' that I've lost my grip on.

I'll cut it off here. If you've been in my shoes, I could sure use some insight or advise. Am I just done?

I'm no software developer, but I do know that it requires tones of brain energy. I would assume you typically have highly productive executive functions. This creates a conflict with your concussed brain because a) your brain energy (ATP) production is compromised from the concussion, and b) your brain is trying to use all of its available energy to address the concussion.

My two cents is don't try to develop software at the same time as trying to recover from a concussion. In other words, take time off and rest your brain.

TedW,

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

I am also not a software developer but I think I have some ideas. I learned a tiny bit of original Apple Basic so I understand how the application can jump around.

As you write code, you are doing a juggling like skill. You need to keep all the balls in the air at the same time. This can be difficult with PCS. The memory load needed to keep track of each 'ball' of code is often more than the PCS brain can handle.

You may do better if you can find a new way to juggle the balls that does not require so much dependence on keeping the information in mind memory and instead uses a visual or other memory aid. When I was doing complex document creation, I needed multiple screens with all of the different information tiled on screen where I could scan to find it rather than cascaded where I would have to remember which tab it was hidden under.

Think of it as going 'old school' with on-paper organizational charts.

What kind of cognitive therapy are you receiving ? What are the objective of your CT ?

Hi TedW,

Welcome to NT. Sorry to read of the reason you've come here but the fact that you are reaching out for advice is a good sign toward recovery.

I'm not a software developer either - I'd go as far as calling myself technically challenged. I can however relate to the loss of cognitive function - not as a result of accident but chronic illness (7+ years). During the worst moments I describe my brain to doctors as being like a TV where someone else has the remote control and is channel surfing.

Software development is inherently a creative process - as someone who was previously artistic I can relate. As yet I haven't recovered the ability to draw - hopefully one day. As for ideas to help with regaining skills I can only speak of my own experience. Recently I was 'propelled' into volunteering in a campaign for a not-for-profit cause I believe passionately in - saving a community facility that is scheduled for closure. Subsequently I've found myself pushed to using my brain far more than in recent years . . . writing letters, drafting strategies, coordinating plans etc. As a result I'm finding my cognitive function gradually improving.

I've had to accept there are limits to my capabilities and find ways to work around the deficits. For instance; you may find that medications you take can enhance performance during one part of the day and impede it during others. Use this to schedule your work efforts. When your brain says it's down time - listen to it. Sometimes a short nap may be all that's needed, other times doing something completely different like going for a walk, gardening or even housework etc, can refresh the circuits. Try not to do too much at once - I find overload results in confusing brain fog and I have to tell myself Enough! - come back to it tomorrow. Be prepared that you will make mistakes - I've let others who are involved in our campaign know some of my limitations and we share the load. Some of them are working full time and are grateful that someone else is doing the tedious work but they are happy to proof-read my slow and sometimes ponderous efforts.

While this may not help with the issue of the projects you currently have in development maybe you can find someone to work alongside you. If this is not a possibility at present please don't think you are done - you may find you need to do something else as a stepping stone until your brain has recovered sufficiently to co-operate.

My recommendation is don't just do work that keeps you busy but take on something that you're passionate about and that involves a challenge - both of these will stimulate the brain cells.

All the best - let us know how you get on.

I have little to offer.....My real great side was trouble shooting electrical!....After my accident I lost executive function, so any time I go there it causes giant confusion!

So if your job is to figure out problems, or problems before there is one....careful..

A good Neuropsychological Evaluation can really help at understanding what has happened to you.

Please rest your brain, as it is so precious!

Hi there, I'm new here too. I joined a few weeks ago intending to introduce myself then had a round of testing that caused me to have a few very bad weeks and not wanting to be near a computer or reading. I'm sure everyone can relate.

I am/was a software developer before my accident and brain injury so I know exactly what you are going through. My accident was late last year so I'm about 9 or 10 months into recovery. I have been through all kinds of therapies and am trying to get some vision therapy right now.

I know that I still have a long road of recovery ahead of me and you probably do too, but the honest truth is I don't know if I will ever be able to return to development. I can't bounce around files like I used to. Simple logic confuses me. Algorithms? Forget it. Picking up a new language in a week or working through architecture and design...I would be incredibly slow. As you said, fix a bug here, create a bigger bug somewhere else but not realize it. I wish it were as simple as teaching yourself a new way to work, like the file thing someone mentioned, but I just don't see that really helping a great deal.

I'm not trying to be negative I just know what it takes to be a programmer from many years experience and post-injury me just can't do it. I'm hopeful maybe one day, but that will be a long time from now. My advice is to make it a long term goal but rest a lot. If you're still working, stop and go on disability. If/when you feel up to it, try a very simple side project that you can work on in 20 minute chunks once or twice a day and if it brings symtomps, put it away for at least 2 days then give it a try again.

Writing software IS difficult but I know what you mean when you say that. I can't say if you're "done" b/c only you can decide that yourself. But I am much younger than you and most days I fear that I'm "done". :(

How to describe what a developer does
 

Thanks for chiming in! I'm a self-taught programmer. I used to work for a large government department doing desktop development. If an app was needed at the desktop level (apart from mainframe data), I'd write it. Some of it was mission critical and a semi-big deal. Around 2000, I found a niche market I was familiar with and wrote an app for a need that wasn't really handled by any other software available. Shortly after that, I left government work and have successfully operated my one-man-shop software company.

As the dust is settling around my post-concussion self, I'm not confident that I'll ever be able to pick up where I left off. One of the biggest frustrations I have is trying to explain to lawyers, doctors, and therapists exactly what I do (did) for a living. Last night I realized that I can use the standard 'software development cycle' model as a way to try to get across all the roles, parts, and pieces I cover day in and day out. We'll see. Right now, I can handle about 30 minutes of mental focus at a time - then I'm done for the day. Even then, though, I process things very slowly and I'm not sure how much I'm retaining.

I'm happy to have found this forum. Really happy.

TedW,

I suggest you try to notice if there is a sign at 20 minutes or so that indicates you are starting to fatigue. There are often such signs. It might be needing to reread a line of text or code or a need to 'look' harder to read. If you can discover this early warning, you can possibly stop and change to a different activity for a while. The goal is to change the load on your brain. If you were doing memory intensive work, change to reading light fare.

As you recognize these signs, you may be able to slowly extend the time before the early fatigue kicks in.

I suggest you download the TBI survival guide at tbiguide.com Print it out and slowly read through it with a highlighter. It can help you define your struggles so you can relate them to attorneys, doctors and such.

As you learn to define your struggles, it is easier to avoid pushing those limits so you can function longer. Pushing to accomplish a task is often counter productive. But, by accepting the struggle with the task and looking for a way to work around your struggle, you will find you can do more than you would expect. Just try to avoid pushing yourself.

My best to you.

TBI Guide
 

Thanks, Mark. I'll go find the TBI Survival Guide you mentioned right now.

BTW, I like your tag line...

Ted--I write quite a bit of code in my job and also work with metadata. I know exactly what you are going through. All I can say is that about 12 months after my concussion it all started coming back and honestly 2 years later I can blast through code and data as well as I ever could.

It will all come back!!! Hang in there.

Software developer here.

I'm not sure how much my "head-incidents" have impacted the ability to do my job, but I will say that for me personally, it was better to take a light and steady workload rather than quitting my job or going on disability.

I have a phenomenal developer position that allows me to work my own hours and at my own pace (within reason). So, if I feel terrible during the day (which is every day!), I work at night. If I can pad 4-5 extra days into an estimate, I do it.
Basically, I game the system as much as I can to fit the job around my condition and not the other way around. I'm sure these actions stagnate my career growth, but I'm hesitant to advance until I start feeling better again...if I ever start feeling better again.

BTW, PCS or not, I never want to change code. Then again, breaking something is self-preservation as you need someone to fix the mistake. So, it's not all a bad thing. Then again, my company is dysfunctional; so who knows.

I was a senior development manager when I had my car accident. This job required both technical coding and management overview on large projects.

My mind was foggy after I awoke in the car after the accident and I couldn't think clearly. I figure it was just another concussion (I had many over my life because of sports) and it would clear.

I started feeling better after a few days but then suddenly I had a panic attack (I didn't even know what it was until the doctor told me). I started having dreams with flashing lights and loud buzzing.

The doctor told me I need time to heal so the days turned into weeks and then months. I tried to go back to work and didn't remember my employee's names or projects names. I couldn't figure out numbers no matter how long I looked at them.

I am telling you this because of the next step. I could see that I need a plan and the doctor was going to get me out of this hole. I talked with my wife and told her that I could see only 3 paths:
1. I get better in time to save my job
2. I get better but not in time to save my job
3. I don't get better (I hadn't gotten any better at this point)

I then started going to Mayo Client brain center. They said I was too ill at that point to test. They started working on life skills to deal with some of my issues. I also went out on short term disability.

At some point, I took the test and failed. I had never really failed anything before so I started thinking this wasn't going to end well. I then had 6 more months of daily rehabilitation (each night the room would spin as I would go to sleep).

At some point, (sorry this point in my life is a blur) I had to apply for long term disability. I felt I was making some progress but nothing I could point out.

I got a letter in the mail saying that social security had found that I was disabled. This was a shock to me. I figured it would be some long process.

The insurance company was still trying to get me back to work. I was still trying to get ready for the next set of test. The day came for the test and I was hopeful that it would go better. It was the second biggest shock as I struggled with every test. The result was almost as bad as the first time.

The doctor told me I needed to start making other plans for my life.

The moral of the story is that I had the documentation required to apply for getting long term disability from the insurance company. You need to hope the best but also think that you might not get better.

You are older then I was and the doctor told me that was a big factor in my recovery (I had multiple concussion also was a big factor).

I know what is required to code and it takes most of the brain. I found that I lost my higher level math. This took me almost 8 months to figure out because I was dealing with so much. I have an engineering degree and MBA and can't help my son with his 6th-grade math.

How did this come about?
How long after the accident did this occur?
What did it feel like?

I had the exact same thing happen to me about 6 days after my trauma. I was sitting at my desk, bored out of my mind and all of a sudden I started feeling incredibly odd ocular sensations; like tunnel vision. That led to a feeling of impending doom and unexplainable tension. It was a HORRIFYING experience.

I immediately drove to a walk-in clinic...only to be told I was "running on all cylinders".

I think everyone is different
 

I had some experience with basic programming, and minor IT support around our office (to fill in the gaps for when we couldn't call someone in). No formal training, just things I picked up over the years.

I tried for two years to continue on, recovering some of the things I lost in my accident (basic math among them), but no matter how hard I worked on it the executive function stuff just hasn't made a complete return. Every time I try to troubleshoot something, 20 minutes completely wipes me out, and sends me backwards.

I'm not saying this is the case for everyone. I think it really depends on what got damaged, and where you are in your recovery. I can't say this is forever for me, but I've finally recognized that this is not my "right now", and that trying to push it was only doing me more damage, personally and professionally. I can't tell you how often I've had times of clarity, only to discover that during a fuzzy time when I was pushing myself too hard, I messed something up.

And, I know what you mean about it being very difficult to explain what you do. It might be easier to let your therapists know the impact of using your executive function. For instance, I can clean my house for hours, but can only work for 5 minutes coding before I break into a sweat, and get the shakes. Telling them all the things that challenge you might help them correlate what areas are being tasked?

I know its almost 5 years since this conversation but I was wondering if anyone who posted had any updates on their conditions?

I'm an SDET who got munched in a car accident back in mid 2020. Almost 16 months on and I'm still not able to code very well at all and I worry about my job and my future. TBI with PCS really sucks and its so hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Any success stories?

thanks

Johnre,

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

Have you had any assessments of your functions?

A NeuroPsychological Assessment would be worthwhile. It can measure the various functions of your brain. Memory, processing, various intelligence metrics, reaction times, and such. You may have problems with sequential processing.

You may need to change how you code. You may not be able to use as much memory and instead need to do some visual charting.

I have had multiple events that changed how I can do various processing tasks, especially sequential processing.

Understanding these issues can help you understand this better so you can try new ways of getting tasks done.

Hi Mark

I've had a lot of testing done and have many therapists. Speech, physical and vision.

I don't know if I've had a specific "NeuroPsychological Assessment" yet. I will check into it so thanks for the idea!

Some therapists push too much when they should be helping you learn to work with your struggles.

The brain is not a muscle. You can't push it harder to get it to do more. It is more like a city of streets. When one street or area of town if congested or has streets torn up, you can't just force your car through. You need to find a detour than may require careful, slower driving.

What tests have you had done?

What is the speech therapist doing? (or did )

Have your received you care/therapy through a neuro rehab hospital/clinic?