Feeling So Sad and Down
 

I'm usually a very upbeat happy person but lately I've just been so sad and weepy. Not about anything in particular. Just anything will set me off......a commercial, something someone said in a TV show or even in a conversation (that's awkward!). Especially things about animals....I guess because I have no pets anymore. That will set me off BIG time.

I know this is situational. I've had alot of changes in my life lately and not all have been by my choice. I'm conflicted on whether to ask my doctor for an anti-depressant or just ride this out by myself. I take so much right now just due to my MS I really hate to add yet another med to the mix.

Has anyone else here gone through anything similar? Just trying to get others opinion on what to do. I'm tired of feeling so down and sad when I've really got so much to be thankful for. Makes me feel ungrateful when I'm really not.:(

Hiya. I take an antidepressant. I had the very same symptoms that you are experiencing. The antidepressant does not make me "feel better." It just seems to stop the crying.

MS, losing all three cats, assisted living are all major factors for your tears. I get it.

I take lorazepam. One of the side effects of this drug is weight gain. My sugared thought process was if I was going to gain weight with an antidepressant, I may as well be happy getting fat!

But as my disease progressed, the large belly began to impede my ability to put on my slippers. After many years of excess weight, I finally stopped feeding the MS monster lots of sugar in the form of ice cream, donuts, cake, candy and fruit smoothies.

So an antidepressant will stop your involuntary tear factory. I take 14+ pills per day. How many do you take?

Not sure, ask your doctor but anti-depressants work on Clinical Depression. perhaps not situational. Don't know, ask. Talk therapy might be the thing.

When I was diagnosed with MS, neurologist let my GP know after he told me.
She called me to console, I cried and then apologized (women seems to do this behavior of apologizing). "You have a right to cry" she said, which made me cry harder. Kitty, you have a right to cry.

Thanks Cyn. I had a feeling you'd be one of the first to reply. :hug: You're a good friend.

I take probably six or so pills a day. Baclofen, Gabaentin, Losartan, Mirapex, Trileptal, Levothyroxine. I take more than one of some of these so the daily total is more than six.

I hate that weight gain is so prevalent with anti depressants but if it fixes this feeling I'll take it. Right now I don't have much of an appetite. I've lost 20 or so pounds in the last 2 months. I needed to so it's not bad news. But I need to eat with all the medications I take. Plus with the PT I'm doing I need my strength.

I need to make an appointment with my neurologist so I'll ask him about an anti-depressant I can take. Maybe there's one that doesn't cause weight gain. :rolleyes:

Thanks for your advice. :hug:

Thanks, Kicker. Here I sit crying over your sweet reply even though I have nothing to cry about. :rolleyes:

I'm going to ask my Neuro for something. Lord knows what I'll do at my son's wedding next weekend......I'm almost afraid to go! :eek:

I think most of my problem is being in this assisted living. It's taking all of my money and my kids are being so sweet to pick up the slack for things I need.

I'm like you, normally happy bouncy and cheerful... even when life slams me into the depths of hell, I normally just bounce right back up again after a good cry or some self-loathing but it's not a state that "usually" lasts for long. But every so often I get the blues... nothing in particular happening or some times something crazy has that I know I would have bounced back from and yet I'm not :(. I feel especially bad for my family who is too used to me being "happy" 24/7.

I haven't taken anti-depressants though, the blues do eventually blow away and I'm able to combat the desires of suicide (which when they kick in so far has meant the blues are close to ending). I have thought about medication for it but they put me on an anti-depressant when I hurt my back and I was near hysterical all the time and couldn't sit still or be quiet for more than 60 seconds (I was timed)

Starz :hug:

I'm usually happy/cheerful most of the time and my family has gotten used to this demeanor. They notice right away if I'm not as upbeat as I normally am. I guess I don't want to disappoint them or worry them. And I hate trying to explain that I don't know why I'm sad. It's just easier pretending there's nothing wrong.

One thing I haven't ever experienced is suicidal feelings. I'm so sorry you've felt that way.

Sometimes I think it's just the MS but I hate blaming everything on MS. Plus I really don't think it is.

MS does make a swing in affect (sad to glad to mad, etc.) Consider if way of life/being is being effected. What effect will drugs have? People have perceptions who you are or how they want you to act. MS changes startle reflexs even too but you have a new "normal" all around to adjust to. Life really is a lot of work!!

You probably guessed, I'm not real pro anti-depressants. For many they work wonders but I am against them being prescribed like they're candy. These are serious drugs, they deserve a doctor following up, being involved.

I recommend you Google Anti-depressant and depression to educate yourself and making an informed decision when talking with your doctor,.

I am so sorry that you are suffering this way Kelly.

I've had two medical stressers. The first was an 8 day hospitalization several years before my son was born. I had
a huge GI attack of a twisted intestine. I had many tests to determine if I had appendicitis, gall stones, etc. It turned out I had a twisted bowel, and after further more tests and consults it was determined to be inoperable. Slowly over that testing hospital stay I started to recover since the pinched area relaxed and they didn't know how to do a surgery for it anyway. Then it was called mal-rotation. But now we know it was HAE --hereditary angioedema. This latter diagnosis came after another "attack", a huge reaction to the blood pressure drug Lisinopril.

When I came home from the hospital the first time, I was sorely depressed but the SSRIs were not available then and the older Tricyclics were not offered at that time. I could hardly walk then and I was left on my own. So I had to learn the triggers that occurred for me, and set me off into another attack. I took an unpaid medical leave, and finally took some art lessons at the local art association, and had fun there and recovered. I quit my stressful job and went to University art training but did not pursue another degree. Just had fun and relaxed the sensitive GI tract.

I became pregnant when I was 34, and after my delivery I was in a huge attack, with Kevin being a preemie and a C-section, my attention was elsewhere and diverted so I didn't think about my own discomfort much. But I did cry alot and I mean ALOT. My husband's cousin was an emergency room nurse, and explained that some reactions and tears really come from a place inside our brain that is adjusting to trauma of the body.
It is part of the healing process, and necessary, and so I didn't complain about my tears and just rode it out. Thinking back on it, I am glad I didn't demand the tricyclics (Elavil). Some tears are therefore helpful and necessary, but if this period continues, then you can bring up anti-depressants. If you are religious, it might be better for you to arrange some counseling or visits by a social worker or psychologist, etc. for a brief time. This works on the brain and can be very healing in its own way.

Doctors do not heal the soul, or mind really. They give drugs or surgeries, but the soul still suffers and for that you need a helper who works to heal differently from a doctor.

Give yourself some time, and stay open... somewhere there is a
solution to help you adjust, but it may be a little while in coming.;) :hug:

Have you looked into the PBA? Or pseudo-balbar (sp?) affect? If it's not like a chronically life has no and will never contain any joy again type feeling... but more of a they show the humane society commercials with Sarah Mccalans "Arms of an Angel" playing in the background and even after changing the channel halfway through the commercial you're still crying/sobbing, which really can't think of anyone in my family or friends who can watch that without crying themselves...really all their commercials leave me crying and I still have my little rescue kitties and my family has theirs.

I mean my brother is on anti-depressants for good reason, he doesn't believe life should be more fun than not, that one should receive more joy than suffering, to him life is all about suffering and one should count themselves exceptionally fortunate if one good thing happens to them in a life time and should definitely not expect it daily. And with such an outlook he is absolutely incapable of comprehending why everyone seems to smile and laugh so much. He's finally in counseling for it, and it does seem to be helping him some though he's still completely and 100% baffled by my laughing and getting excited over things when I have MS, and how can I not realize just the amount of suffering I go through everyday.

His is very much so "clinical" depression, and he has suffered from it for most of his life, and will likely spend the rest of his life in counseling and taking medication and still might not ever come around to finding the "joy" of simply living. Which is some what more frustrating for me at times since he has a child, something I've been denied, so I occasionally have to resist the urge to smack him upside the head when he tells me life shouldn't be "fun". When lack of true motherhood is the number one reason behind my suicidal thoughts, yes I have two step-children, one of which it was my truest joy to raise for two years before she was kidnapped by her mother and was out of contact with us until she became an adult... and I have the GBs but again, not my children and I don't have any real say about how they're raised or even when I'll see them.

Meanwhile he has his own precious daughter whose only a few months younger than my grandson, and he thinks life is about suffering?! That there's no such thing as joy, simply because one exists?! Then why the #{~* did he bring a child into the world? And how can he possibly look at her little angelic face every morning and not think for one second that "JOY" can come simply from existence? Grrrr.... he's probably one of the biggest reasons why I don't carry out my suicial thoughts... telling me how I should suffer because that's the point of life and there's no such thing as happiness in life when he has an adorable daughter, finished his college ambitions and the only health concern he has is clinical depression and a herniated disk in his back (mine is herniated and buldging and from BREAKING my back *^%}#{] :mad:)

So about the time the blues bring me to such a low, I inevitably think of the children I never had, which reminds me my brother did get blessed with and then anger kicks in and suicidal thoughts get pushed away by something more akin to homicidal thoughts, and after dwelling on those for a bit I get distracted by something bright and shiny and toss the whole thing out as my personality gets it reset.

But though both my brother and I have suicidal thoughts, our "depression" is very different... without medication he cannot get out of his, he has zero control over it, and he can't be distracted from it or even get himself mad enough about something else to blow it away. For myself, I can spiral even deeper into a depressive state than my brother, but it's not a long lasting affair... less than 30 days...and about 72 hours or less in the deep end of things. Stress is a trigger, illness, injury can trigger it, life events (births and deaths), and humane society commercials, and sometimes "just cuz". But I think for those of us that are usual upbeat... it's almost as bad as for my brother whose always down.

We're lacking an emotion regulator somewhere... and every so often our natural "highs" wear off and we're experiencing what normal folks do and it's just unnatural for us not to be "HAPPY". Even keeled emotions are as foreign to us "HAPPY" folks as it is to my depressed brother, and then our family points it out to us and we feel guilty because we're supposed to be "HAPPY" and then we stress about not being happy, and why aren't we happy, and then it seems like the world went from technicolor to grey, and we don't know why so we stress more and more, making things worse... until something comes along to snap us out of it and flip us back to our place over the rainbow. Just my theory at any rate. Maybe you could try getting up a good rant over something, idiots on judge Judy...99% of the news coverage... watch an episode or two of "I shouldn't be alive." Give yourself a good yell at something ludicrous and see if it doesn't hit your reset button.

Worth a shot and I hope you get your Tigger springs back from the shop soon :hug:

MrsD, thank you so much for your response.

I notice that when I have something that keeps me busy or diverts my attention elsewhere it's not so bad but music is a HUGE factor for me. Those Humane Society commercials are the worst and leave me diving for the remote. I rarely listen to music anymore and it used to be such a big part of my life.

Thank for sharing your own personal experiences to try and help me. I appreciate it very much. :hug:

Kitty--love and prayers

Makes me happy to see your name, Blessings. :hug: :circlelove:

Thanks, Sparky! I had not thought of PBA but it sounds just like what I do.

But the only difference is that I see or hear something that reminds me of something in the past (like a pet that has passed away or a song that reminds me of a family member that has passed on) and the waterworks start. This is most of the time.....but some times I just cry for no particular reason (now this made me laugh because it reminded me of Forest Gump LOL).

It's frustrating and I need to go see me Neurologist but haven't made an appointment yet. Procrastinating..........

I know exactly what you mean about the Humane Society commercials. I also find myself fighting back tears from those darned sweet Hallmark Card commercials and if course, sad movies.

There is one commercial about a big dog (golden retriever or some type of setter) that has to wear a lions mane in order to keep a little baby girl from crying when she sees him. She has a toy lion with a big mane that she loves. The Dad buys a lions mane and puts it on this dog and the little girl isn't afraid anymore. I think it's the music that gets me more than anything but this commercial does me in every time. :o I'm bracing myself for all the Christmas and Thanksgiving commercials that are due any day. Lord help us all........

I'm so sorry that you're feeling sad Kitty. :hug: I have dealt with depression for a good part of my life so I can relate. It got worse with the MS diagnosis. I take generic Lexapro for my depression. It doesn't change my personality but takes away the constant sadness.

I have had PBA in the past after I'd had a bad MS attack years ago. I would cry over the mere mention of a sad event and sometimes I laughed uncontrollably at inopportune times.

It might be worth it to try an antidepressant to see if it helps. I hope things will be better soon. :hug:

Thanks Wiz. :hug: It's good to hear from you. I've got to make an appointment with my neuro and request something.

I'm getting worried because DS's wedding is on Saturday and I just get the feeling I'm going to be a sobbing mess. And I'm getting my makeup done for the event! Can't mess it up! I'll have to request water proof makeup.....especially the eye makeup.

I was taking Fluoxitine for a while several years ago but stopped for whatever reason I cannot remember. I guess I didn't feel like I needed it back then. But when my beloved cats all passed away I cried for day....and still do if I think about it.

I'm so sorry about your kitties, Sparky.

My ginger cat was named Tigger, too! He was the sweetest cat ever and I miss him as much today as when he first left me.

I also had a big grey cat named Gracie and she thought Tigger was her own. She was so funny about him. He loved her, too. They were inseparable.

When Tigger died Gracie went crazy....literally. She couldn't handle it and went into heart failure. We rushed her to the vet but there was nothing they could do.

The vet said she couldn't explain it except that she was overcome with grief wanted to go with him. She said it was the strangest thing she'd ever seen but there was nothing we could do. So they both left me the same day. Gracie was just NOT going to let Tigger go alone. True story.

My last cat, Panda, died of liver failure about a year later. I have them all in little cremation urns on the shelf in my living room. It comforts me to know a part of them are still here. But all I have to do is look at those urns and the tears start.

My doctor has put me back on a low dose (he says it's a low dose....I guess it is) of 20 mg of fluoxitine. It seems to be working as I don't have the crying spells as much any more.

Certain things can still make me cry but it's just not as severe as it used to be. Still can't watch those darned Humane Society commercials about the abandoned and abused pets with the sad music playing in the background. WHO could watch those without some sort of reaction?? I'm scrambling for the remote whenever one of those ads comes on!

Glad you're feeling a little better...and yeah even just thinking about those commercials get me choked up. :(

I'm so sorry you're feeling down. It's hard to stay upbeat with MS going on constantly.

Hope the wedding went OK.

I feel depressed fairly often these days but so far haven't asked for any pills for it. I hesitate to take anything. People my age react in odd ways to meds, and I'm not sure anyone knows just how we'll react, particularly with MS, but if I were younger, I'd try to get a med that helped me many years ago--Librium. It's meant more for anxiety but often anxiety goes along with depression.

The newer drugs for depression are supposed to be much better but I'd hesitate to try any drug that has an effect on my mental state. Librium, on the other hand, has been around for a long time, and I took it for several years (off and on, as needed) without any side effects.

Ah, Kitty...so sorry to hear of your sadness...you have a lot of triggers, don't you? I know you are so attached to your fur babies; having them leave so quickly makes it so much harder.
I hope the meds help you. We MSers need to take advantage of everything that gets through each and every day.:hug: