Getting thru the holidays....
 

The holidays are a challenge to me. I have a lot of anxiety during this time.
WE drive 2 days to Indy spend a couple of days there before we have christmas eve dinner with hubbys mom and brother. Then head up north to my folks house for christmas day. hubby will hitch a ride from one of my sisters back to indy and I will stay there for 4 more days and then drive back to his moms house before new years eve.
There will be a chaos mess at his moms house and I get very stressed out there. So I gave myself permission to stay at my folks house.

Jeff can deal with the chaos at his moms.
She would rather spend time with jeff alone I believe. I think she thinks I interfere, try to boss her around. I wish she would move to an assisted living situation but she refuses. She is very frail and elderly and has fallen once. Some how she still drives and has recently been hospitalized and rehab for a couple of weeks and now uses a walker. I spoke with her other son and asked him about laundry. She refuses to use a laundry service or have an aide come to help her. She doesn't want him to do her laundry either. She can't go in the basement where her washer and dryer are...so who is going to do her laundry?????
I love her and she is very stubborn.

I am going to try to not drink over the holidays...must come up with an action plan. I could drink O'douls(non alcoholic beer) but why drink extra calories when I could just make tea? and use stevia to sweeten???
Save money and something warm to drink at my parents chilly house.
I used to have to run hot water over my feet to warm them up before going to bed.

I have a few more christmas cards to send and need to get my mother something else.
anyway.
The holidays are hard.
bizi

Hubby and I do not do Christmas.

We live spiritual lives but neither one of us identifies as Christian.


For us Christmas is a quiet peaceful day.

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Good luck at with your MIL. Remember she has the right to make her
own decisions, even if they are bad ones. #PatientRights.


M

When she is not doing laundry and wearing dirty clothes, underwear????
Does this sound like a sound mind?
When do the boys have to put their foot down?
I guess it is really none of my business....:(
sigh
bizi

Bizi

Maybe suggest she just at least talk to one or two of the programs that
can send an companion in. Ask her to see what they can do with
laundry. She could still have the control. They could come help her getting
it to the laundry area. And then when its done. They could bring it back up and if she wants she can fold and work on putting back up.

It would be a compromise for her. Just them getting it in washer and washing, then drying. The other idea would be if she goes to church.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

She does not seem to be o.k. but it is not your call.


Let the boys talk to her.

Bizi, I know it is hard to let go, especially since you are an RN. I think you should have Jeff relay any concerns you have, even though he may not be as assertive as you would like, because she is his mother. She will be more receptive, if at all, to concerns/ideas coming from him. I hope he will trust your knowledge and experience and do what he can to address safety issues and getting her to accept outside help. I know that will be hard, but it will make your visit with her more pleasant for all of you :hug::hug::hug:

It sounds like your trip will be overwhelming overall :hug::hug::hug:

I'm glad that you are mentally preparing yourself, but I hope your anxiety isn't starting to ramp up with your departure coming soon :hug:

You can try a combination of things to help curb your drinking, not just tea, which could get old over a long period of time. I remember you were thinking of drinking smoothies at one point. You could also make mocktails that taste very good.

I drink O'Doul's, but not more than 1-2. !0 of them = 1 beer. There are other non-alcoholic beers out there that are 'fuller" and may be more to your taste if you decide to go that route.