I am in a mixed mood
 

yesterday marci came over to drop off a jamaican black cake and red snapper and mac and cheese and wild rice and mushrooms for xmas.it was so nice of her. I ate the whole cake. it was actually half a cake. i just feel like crying but i can't. it is like i am high and low

I hope that you are doing better than you were when you wrote this.

Mixed moods are hard.



M

I am doing better. I had my hair cut which I have been dreading with a new person. He was wonderful. Then the rabbi who visited me once called and asked if she could come over. I said my place was messy but she could come if she didn't mind, She is delightful, she says she wants to come twice a month because she knows how alone I am. She said she might even come on weekend day She did some of my exercises with me. she gave me something to look forward to.

Wow! What an amazing person.:)


It seems that you like her.:)


Nice to get a haircut.
M

I do like her a lot. even though she is a do giver(I can't think of the phrase) she doesn't seem like one. She doesn't seem like a rabbi.. I think she was a dancer before. Her husband plays a instrument.
the haircut was a huge relief. My hair does whatever it wants to do so if I don't get a good cut it looks horrid. It is like playing russian roulette when choosing a hair cutter. I gave him a ten dollar tip for a thirty five dollar cut. He was very appreciative. Even with all that goodness I am high and low. I did something i shouldn;t have done. I wrote my youngest nephew who I haven't seen since the stroke and told him about the rabbi and her visiting me twice a month so I won't be so alone. In the Jewish tradition you are supposed to look after seniors and the mentally ill. I didn't write that. It really hurts. I don't think I want him to visit. it is too late/they have caused me so much pain. they think they are good jews but they aren't. i feel like writing directly to them that. maybe I would feel better then and get rid of some of this pain. then i wouldn't be a good jew

Bobby

I think the rabbi coming twice a month is great.

SHe sounds like a keeper.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

There's a chance that one or more of the nephews or children or wives
have a mental illness.


(I assume that everyone has their own version of it)
But I am not making excuses for their whatever it is.


M

my youngest nephew's child is a bit strange. he is extremely bright and like all of them very family oriented but over the top. he is ten and his brother is 8. when being photographed they are always hugging with their heads together.I tested over 600 kids and he was the only one who put eye lashes on the boy. I am definitely mentally ill

I'm glad that at least mood-wise you seem to be doing better than you were when you started this thread :hug:

It's great that the Rabbi came to see you and is going to visit more regularly. She seems like such a nice and interesting person. It's always good to have pleasant company.

I'm sorry that your nephews don't treat you better, and you are left with conflicted feelings about what you want to say to them, and whether or not you want them in your life because of how they treat you. You really deserve better, and they are really missing out :hug::hug::hug:

I am definitely mentally ill too...
Sometimes I wonder what and how normal people think...

I think i forgot because of the stroke. I think I might have tested 800 kids