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houghchrst 07-03-2018 12:12 PM

Excoriation and Arithmomania anyone?
Today I learned that there is actually a name to what I have. I have no clue why I have never looked before. The letter counting in short phrases and the number 4 have been around longer than I can actually remember but the skin picking developed within the last nine years. It frankly comes and goes but once I start it is so hard to stop. My back and shoulders are scarred. I don't get in a pool. It started when my mom really started dying from her drinking. Doesn't take Freud there. I do it when I am in a daze thinking. My mind is constantly going and as I am picking I am thinking that it is helping it heal but it is almost mindless. Pulling off the bad skin to get to the good.....hmmm wonder what that means. Just popped out my fingers lol.

I had managed to keep the letter counting down to almost nothing for a long time but it is back with a fury. Just short phrases, I prefer it be able to break up into fours but it must be an even number or divisible by two. I will alter it or add an apostrophe to make it an even number.

Like "where are you going" I can break up into fours....wher...eare...youg...oing. That's ideal cause it is four and four.

"where will you be" while not able to do fours I can still do...wherewe....ooyoube. though odd is divisible by two, still slightly uncomfortable lol we don't do divisible by three that would be just odd :rolleyes:

My skin is clearing up though I have a new batch of scars that will take a long time to tone down. I have been monitoring myself better.

These aren't the only anxiety ridden oddities I have suffered through, hairtwirling in my sleep waking me up. wore soft gloves to bed to break myself of it. Teeth clenching, still have the mouth piece. Thanks to medication and cbd I sleep like a baby now.

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