My beautiful people....
 

Dear Neuro Talk -BiPolar forum friends....

I dont even remember why I stopped coming here... I think I realized I was never going to feel better or change my view of the world and I thought it was boring for you to keep reading my vents, complaints and rants.... Oh my Im so negative ! :p Sorry....

I dont even know how to write this... it is like I need to tell you so much stuff and at the same time I dont want this to be an ultra long post and... yeah.... My mother died unexpectedly January of 2018... if I have always considered my life to be horrible, not it is pure hell.... :( I dont even know how I survived last year without her.... and, I feel sorry for bringing my grief and negative view of life to this forum... I just... missed you.

I found visitor messages I didnt read years ago and... I feel very emotional.... I saw a therapist for 1 year.... took meds.... I guess that's the only reason I didnt do something stupid you know ? but it stoped working... I mean, there was nothing left she could do for me....

I miss my mom
I feel so lonely
I hate life
I lost all faith I had left
Im always angry and depressed
and yeah.... I no longer know how to function or why should I try to even function you know...

I look forward to read you again...

Thank you

Majo

Dear Blue,
I am sorry you lost your mom....I can't imagine losing mine.
The first year you are in shock, the second year is worse.
Am sorry to hear that meds are not working for you.
If you want to share what meds you have tried.....
Do you still have a diagnosis of bipolar?
bizi

Hi, Majo,

So sorry to hear about your missing your mom.

If you are up to it, can you share with us a good memory you have
of her?


I'm glad you posted. I've thought about you and wondered what you
were up to.


M

Hi Majo

I to have missed you. I also lost my mom this last year.

I hope you will come back and tell us some of your happy
memories of her. We are always here for you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm glad that you came back to us! :hug::hug::hug:

We are here to support one another through the good times and the bad, and for some of us, there are few happy times, and we vent more because we are struggling, and that is okay. That is why this forum is here (((((HUGS)))))

I am so sorry that you lost your mom. It sounds like it was, and still is, extremely hard for you. I'm so sorry that her death was so sudden. That makes it even harder :hug::hug::hug:

I wish that you were doing better, and that meds and therapy were helping you more. I hope that you haven't stopped trying- at least with the meds :hug::hug::hug:

Share what you need to. We are here, and listening.

I am so glad you came back. so sorry about your mother
bobby

Holy moly.... I dont even remember how to reply to each one of you in the same post.... so, a big message for everything will have to do :)

Dear Bizi... I wish you mom could be eternal so you dont have to experience this pain never in your life.... losing a mom is like all the sum of all the pain you have felt in your life multiplied by 1,000,0000,0000,0000 + times.... it is pure hell. I feel a hole where my heart is supposed to be... like, for real, not literally.... horrendous. :( You are right.... the second year is feeling like worse....

Mari !!!!!!! :) I always kept you in my thoughts :hug: oh.... uff, my mom was my.... best friend, my favorite company.... my motivation.... I could write a book of all the happy moments we had.... but tonight I wanna share my mom was very special.... she never did anything to anyone, always helped.... she was so strong.... survived so many difficult times.... always with a smile... she had a great faith in God (in who I no longer believe btw) and she was so humble, funny, protective, natural.... damn how much I need her :(

(((Donna))) I feel guilty.... I feel like I didnt give her all that she deserved... maybe it was my fault that she died because I didnt take her to the doctor more often ? I wish I could change everything.... If I could do everything in a different way....

Kay !! :hug: I dont doubt that meds did their thing at some point but.... not enough, not anymore.... same with therapy.... it was talk talk and talk and, sometimes I use the advices my therapist gave me but, this damn pain doesnt go away and it bothers me even physically ?
Terrible.

Bobby.... :hug: I have missed you.

I have missed you all....

Where is waves ? Wheres is BrokenFriend ?

:grouphug:

Im more a chronic depressive than bipolar.... but my friends have always been in this forum :hug: :)

Hi Blue. I think about you, and it's nice to hear from you. Sorry for the hardships, and loses that you are going through. Don't give up on your faith.

I lost my Dad, Mom, and my sister. I lost my best friend. In June I'm losing my apartment. I'm being evicted because my Bil has sold the house that I live in.

If everything is taken away from me, I'll still have my faith.

There is a place on Youtube that you can go to. It's called "The global prayer room" on Youtube. It's streaming live 24 hours a day. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thank you for getting back to us blue.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi
I am sorry it hurts so much for you.

Hi, Majo,

I'm so very sorry that you are grieving.
I hope that you have people in real life you can talk to.

I appreciate your beautiful thoughts of how special your Mom was.
It seems that you two were close.


For some, part of the grieving process might involve feeling that you
did not do enough for her but you know that she loved you.
Please try not to be hard on yourself. (Grief can do weird things
to our brains.)


Waves left our board about about two years ago.
The last I heard she moved to London, England

M