What's Going On #2
 

I saw my pdoc today. I'm having a mixed episode (agitated mania).

She's putting me back on Lamictal, but it has to be increased very slowly. I HOPE the tiny dose (50mg) I started taking today starts doing something to help quickly, but I think it will take a while (I'm maxed out on my other meds).
In the meantime, I'm afraid I'm going to become paranoid, psychotic, or God forbid s/s...

I have an appointment with her in 3 weeks, but I can always call her if I need her, and her door is always open. I just need to keep an eye on things...

I am sorry you are having a mixed episode.
I think that sucks.
when can you increase the dose of the lamictal?
bizi

. Sorry that you are going through this mixed episode.


'I hope that the Lamictal works for you.


M

I used to take 200mg of Lamictal twice a day.
To reintroduce it, it has to be increased very slowly... I will be on 50mg for 2 weeks, and it will be increased by another 50mg a week after that.
I don't know what 50mg of Lamictal is going to do for me... so frustrating!!!

Of course I'm manic because I was off my meds, but it's nobody's fault. I was way too sick to swallow pills. It just really f'ing sucks. I'm really miserable. My mind never lets me rest. It's torture. I'm trying my best to stay in the present and distract myself, and smoking MJ is helping me relax and sleep. That's really the only way I can deal with it.

I wish the constant vertigo from having the NG tube in my nose would go away. At least I think that's what it's from. I was discharged on Augmentin, so if I have a sinus infection, it should take care of it.

I'm still trying to be careful about what and how much I eat even though I have not had any abdominal pain or nausea. I do not want to have to go back to the hospital. I'm making sure that I do eat enough tho. I'm feeling a little bit better, and I think that's why.

Thank you for checking in sweetie.
I am sorry that you are in this episode.
I hear your suffering.
I am glad that you have MJ to help with the symptoms.
So you have any anti anxiety meds? could you ask for some?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I can take up to 1mg of Klonopin 3 times a day. The agitation I've been feeling is different than anxiety, so Klonopin doesn't help with it. I am having anxiety too, so I have been taking it, but I have to be careful with it because I'm not feeling well, and don't want to fall or pass out.

I feel MUCH better this morning :):):)
I'm still manic, but not feeling dysphoric like I was before. I don't know how much of it is that tiny dose of Lamictal, or how much of it is that I've somehow managed to block out most of the memory of being so f'ing sick/my experience off my meds/the hospital stay, or both...
But I'm VERY much relieved. This mood change means that the odds of me becoming psychotic and/or s/s and having to be hospitalized are very slim :):):):):)

I'm really worried because of BR problems tho. I was already struggling with them before I went into the hospital because of the surgery I had, and had to be careful about how I approached them, and I have to be even more careful about them now. I hated to do it. Was worried about doing it. But took Mirilax this morning. Then I added a FiberCon tablet twice a day to my pill case. I think it's been long enough since the obstruction/infection. Wish me luck :o

I have not seen my GI since before I had the surgery done in Boston. I had been relying on calling my surgeon when I was in dire straights. That's probably how I ended up in the hospital. I need someone to help me manage things better on a regular basis, so I'm going to have to make an appointment with him, or his lovely NP, soon.

I wish you tons of luck. I have been having peppermint tea and chamomille tea to help with anxiety now that I don't take that much klonopin. It helps, I have been shopping on jet.com they have great deals and that haagan daz crispy chocolate with coffee and vanilla. Their little pies are great and under a dollar.
love
bobby

Thank you, Bobby! :hug::hug::hug:

I’m so glad that the tea is helping! :)

I don’t understand how you can order ice cream off the internet?

go to jet.com and see all the groceries they sell. they sell everything at great prices!

happy mothers day to cats day!:D
bizi

Thinking good thoughts for you, Kay.

Thank you, ladies :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Happy belated Kitty Mommy Day to you Bizi and Bobby! :):):)

I'm still manic, but I'm in a GOOD mood? LOL. I don't know exactly what happened to cause this change so quickly, but I'll take it!!! This is a MUCH more pleasant and comfortable place to be!!! :):):)
And I don't see myself needing all the Lamictal I used to take, which means that my pdoc will have something to play with if I need meds adjusted because of future episodes. That's good since I'm maxed out on everything else.

The Mirlax kicked in very quickly yesterday, so it worked like a laxative because of my short gut (Dr. Chen warned me it may). Now I'm not sure I should be taking it everyday. I still have to go to the BR, so I took it again this morning. Not sure yet what I'm going to do after that tho. I did go, and didn't experience any problems, so I'm very happy about that :)

I've been out of the hospital for a week now, and I've gained 2lbs, which is good, but I don't want to gain back too much because I had wanted to lose weight before I went in. So, I should probably stop eating a pint of ice cream every night... but I say that all the time lol. Ice cream was one of the few things I would eat when I first came home, so that didn't help me break the habit at all.
As of now, I have been able to eat anything I want to without problems, but I'm steering clear of take-out and fast food, especially Chinese food, which I love but had already been giving me problems.

The vertigo was much better yesterday, but it's back and giving me problems again this morning. I was discharged on Augmentin, so if I have/had a sinus infection from the NG tube, that should be taking care of it, but it seems to be going on too long. If it continues, I have to think about the possibility that it may be from MS, which has a habit of flaring up and kicking you when you're down.

Right now I'm waiting for someone from the gas company to come and change the gas meter. They gave me a 8am-noon window. I took my shower early (7am) so that I'll be ready to go out after they leave...

I have to go grocery shopping. I'm still working on my list. My appetite still isn't great, so I'm struggling. I've only come up with 4 meals to cook for the week. Really not much is appealing right now. I'll guess I'll come up with something.

I have several appointments this week, and it's a little overwhelming. Wednesday is the only day I have free. There were things that I just couldn't put off. I had to reschedule 3 appointments while I was in the hospital, and had to get new orders from my neurologist for my Tysabri infusion because I was inpatient. It was a mess.

I am so glad you feel better!

This is a glowing report!
Happy for you!
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thank you! :)

I can finally say I am definitely feeling better overall :):):)

I've overdone it as usual tho. Between totally cleaning out the cat boxes (they REALLY needed it) and cleaning the office on Sunday, and grocery shopping yesterday, I'm totally wiped out. But I don't have anymore big plans like that on the horizon. I just have to get my a- to a couple of appointments later in the week, and maybe do some light cleaning along the way.

I really needed a nap yesterday, but I still can't settle down enough to take them. I think I would probably be doing even better than I am now if my mind would let me rest more.

I'm getting a mani/pedi today around noon. I don't get pedicures in the winter, so it's been a long time since I've had one. I'll be trading my sneakers in for sandals very soon, so I figured it was time to get my toes done. It takes a long time to get both done tho, and I don't really like that, but at least the company will be good (Judy) :)

The Mirilax is working for me. I'm still not sure that it should be a daily thing tho because I'm having D, so I'm going to try skipping it today. I know that I need more fiber because of the D, so I'm going to add a second FiberCon tab to tonight's pill case. It's better to use Fiber than Mirilax if possible. I guess I will wait to see what happens and go from there.

So glad that you are doing better!:)
Tell Judy that you are kind of in a hurry.So maybe it won't take as long. Glad that you guys are friendly.
(((((HUGS))))):hug:
bizi

Yay !!!
So glad to read you are feeling better sweetheart ! :hug:

May today be even better ! How was the mani/pedi ? I have so much trouble with my feet nails :o

I hope you are doing alright.
You said you were having an episode.
please check in.
thank you
bizi

I posted yesterday, hun. I know you worry (((HUGS)))
Thank you, Blue :hug:

I did get kicked off the internet several times while I was trying to read and post on the forum yesterday morning tho. I think it was a problem with Safari. I ended up having to throw in the towel because I had to get ready for my appointment.

The pedicure was fabulous! Well, what I could feel. I enjoyed the leg massage, but I really can't feel my feet much. I chose pink for my fingers and a very light shade of pink for my toes. I won't be getting another pedicure for a while, and I won't always be wearing this color on my nails.

It was very, very quiet in the nail salon for a long time yesterday, so Judy and I had a really long deep conversation about many things. It was serious at points on both sides, but not depressing. She is a very impressive young woman (28). I love her.

I was so tired when I got home! I waited until Corey came home to make him something to eat. Then I laid down to take a nap, and was actually able to fall asleep! I think I slept for about 2 hours :)

I don't have any appointments today, so I didn't set an alarm last night, and slept in until after 9am. I didn't want to empty the dishwasher last night before I made dinner, so I have a sink full of dishes to do. I was thinking about driving to BJ's to renew my membership and buy coffee, but now I don't know if I want to do that or not. I will go out to play the lottery tho.

I feel like maybe I'm slowing down a little? IDK. It's hard to tell. I'm definitely hypo at a minimum. I've been lacking my usual insight into things throughout this whole episode tho. Being off my meds really screwed me up. I can say that I'm safe and happy though. I can't ask for much more than that :)

Thank you for really checking in.
(((((HUGS)))))
Glad that you are coming down...happy you could nap yesterday!
pink nails are fun....
glad that you have judy in your life.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

love the color pink and purple

glad you had good talk:grouphug::hug:

I hope you are having a good evening,
and that corey is treating you well.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Nice to hear from you, Kay.

:):):)

I woke up this morning with a lot of anxiety, so I took a whole Klonopin for the first time (at once) since coming home from the hospital. It helped. I was afraid it would knock me on my a-, but it didn't.

Yesterday was my only appointment-free day, so I figured I would take it easy, and I did. I did a few things around the house, and went out to CVS and to play the lottery. And that's pretty much it...
My OCD has not been bothering me much since the first few days I was home. My apartment isn't spotless, but it's clean and things are in order. I seem to be satisfied with that right now.
But I will be home for most of the day, and am thinking of doing a little cleaning. I have to find some way to entertain myself anyway.

I have an appointment to get my Tysabri (MS med) infusion at 2pm today. I f'ing HATE the timing, but I had to take what I could get since having to cancel my last appointment because I was in the hospital. I will be ready for a nap by the time I get there, and will hit heavy traffic on my way home. I'm hoping I can catch some Z's while I'm there, but sometimes it's very loud.

We are going to have to change our cellphone carrier (AT&T). We still owe a lot on our phones, but Corey just wants to pay them off. We barely get service here, and we keep getting kicked off the network here and while out and about. We have to shut our phones off and turn them back on to get service again. Then we see our voicemails and missed texts. We both have iPone X's, but his has more memory than mine, so they are different, so the phones can't be the problem. I have called AT&T twice, and whatever they've done hasn't helped. I don't like the idea of spending the money, but I don't like paying for cellphone service I can't use either. So, I guess we'll be going to a Verizon store this weekend. Corey gets good service here on his work phone, which is through them. I will keep my phone. If he just has to have a new phone, then whatever... he does what he wants.
Since we're already going out, I'll make him take me out to lunch, too :)

I have a very early appointment tomorrow morning, so I probably won't be online. I may be very tired afterwards and have to go back to sleep, but I will try to check in quickly later in the day if I can.

I hope your day goes smoothly and that you can get a nap in.
thinking of you ....
((((HUGS))))
love bizi

I can't do another late Tysabri appointment like that again. I was so tired I really shouldn't have driven home. I didn't get home until almost 5. That's WAY too late in the day for me...

I lost cellphone service AGAIN while I was using my phone at the hospital yesterday. I was so f'ing fed up and PO'ed that I pretty much went online and paid off our phones as soon as I got home. Then it happened to me again this morning. I can't wait to go to the Verizon store tomorrow to switch carriers. I like to be able to use services I'm paying (A LOT of $$$) for :mad::mad::mad:

I made it to my (7:30am) appointment this morning by the skin of my teeth. Traffic was f'ing crazy. I'm glad I brought a coffee from home. I never would have made it had I stopped at Dunkin Donuts. It took me almost 15 minutes longer than usual to get there in the morning.

It's cold and raining buckets out, but I ran several errands on my way home so I wouldn't have to go out later. I'm really, really tired, and think that I will take an early nap.

My early nap turned out to be not so early.

I got caught up worrying how Corey was going to get his music onto his new phone because of problems with his archaic computer. He hasn't synched his phone and computer together or backed up his phone to it in a year, and he can't do it with my computer without losing the music he hasn't purchased through iTunes (I called Apple). The last time he tried to use his computer it had crashed, but I ended up getting it up and running again after charging and restarting it, so later in the evening he was able to back his phone up to iTunes. So, the problem should be solved.

I just couldn't rest until I resolved the problem in my mind no matter how exhausted I was. So, yeah, I'm still manic. I ended up smoking MJ and taking a 2 hour upright couch nap later tho. I felt much better afterwards because the sleep was much needed.

The Mirilax is definitely something I need to take everyday. The fiber is another story. I didn't take much, but overdid it anyway, and I'm having lots of mid-to-lower right abdominal pain. It's starting to subside a little, so I hope that means that things are moving along, but it's kinda scary after what I've just been through. I don't want another bowel obstruction. Anyway, no more fiberCon for now.

Upon discharge from the hospital, I was told that someone from the surgical team would be calling me in two weeks to check in. So, that should be around Monday. I will ask them what I should do now, what I should be doing regularly, and who I should be talking to/seeing about these issues on an outpatient basis.

We're supposed to take care of the cellphone situation and go out to lunch this afternoon. Corey's still sleeping right now tho. I've been up since 6:30.

I am glad that the miralax is working.

Sorry for your little pain, I am sure that

I would be worried as well and am curious

who will be your go to md from here on out.
I hope you have a nice lunch time out and

you get to eat something really good.
I hope you have a good day
You so much deserve that!
I hope corey is being nice to you.
((((((HUGS and LOVE))))))
bizi

I hope you feel better soon.

I got myself into a heap of trouble yesterday...

We share a patio with our next door neighbor, who gave permission to a boy, who lives on the 3rd floor, to leave his bike downstairs next to the fire stairs, which is on his side of the patio. The problem is that he and his friend never leave their bikes there, but leave them in front of his slider, ours, or anywhere in between instead. Sometimes they also ride up on our patio right in front of us while we're sitting outside... we love that :mad:

When the good weather first arrived, I called the office, then Corey went down there, about one of the bikes after it was left on OUR side of the patio for 6 days without moving. We told the office what the boy's father looked like, and where we thought they lived. They told Corey they would send an email out, but nothing happened. Corey ended up moving the bike inside by the front entrance. Later, he ran into the father, spoke to him about the bike, and found out about the arrangement with our neighbor.

I have spoken to both boys very nicely separately, and together, several times. I spoke to the boy's friend Friday night (in front of his sister) after he left his bike propped up on my patio chair....

Last evening, while our blinds were drawn but open, we caught the boy upstairs trying to leave his bike in front of our slider, and his friend trying to leave his in the same place as the night before- against my patio chair. So, I went out to talk to them again. Unfortunately, I was PO'ed and HIGH at the time, and let "CUT THE S-" slip out at the end... UGH :o

So, the very angry mother from upstairs came down pounding on my sliding glass door to f'ing scream at me for swearing at her child, but she was a real piece of work, who refused to believe that her son had EVER left his bike on our side of the patio LOL... it's a daily occurrence. Ordinarily, I would have immediately apologized because I was in the wrong for swearing at children (and should not have been even talking to them while high), but you get what you give. So I yelled right back at her, and told her I'd be willing to go upstairs and throw all my s- all over her deck.
I did eventually apologize for swearing at the kids, and promised not to do so in the future, but I refused to back down about the bicycle situation. I said it was our own personal rented space, I would NOT be dealing with it all summer, and would call the leasing office and make it so that the boys would lose their privileges to park their bikes downstairs AT ALL (their not supposed to do so even on their own decks/patios) if it continued.

I have not heard from the other mother (YET). The father of the boy upstairs said he had spoken to her. Maybe she had already heard from her daughter that I had spoken to her son the night before, or maybe she knows that if another adult tells her kid to "cut the s-" there's a good reason for it (that's what I would suspect). IDK. But if she comes banging on my door, I'll handle it differently this time. I'll open with that apology. And I never even asked the other mother what the kids told her I said. Maybe they told her something different/worse. She just asked if I swore at her son, and I said yes.

I hope that the father speaks to our neighbor, the one he has the agreement with. He is also having problems with the kid leaving his bike where he is not supposed to. When I saw him the other day, he said he had spoken to him twice recently, and he knows I have spoken to the kids, too.

Later, we heard the father upstairs talking to the boys. Corey said he heard him saying I was right, it is our personal space, but I went about things the wrong way. And he went on to give them directions about not riding their bikes on, or leaving their bikes on, our side of the patio. So, hopefully something good will come out of my mistake, and we won't have to deal with this s- anymore.

Corey is understandably very upset because we moved to avoid problems with our old neighbors, and I just caused major problems for us. I hope this blows over without any future incidents. I've never seen the mother before last night, and Corey thinks she doesn't go out much, if at all. So, it's not likely I will run into her often. We will run into the father for sure because he's around enough, but he seems like a reasonable guy. Very odd tho, and Corey thinks he's on drugs. I'm sure we'll see the kids, but I'm just going to ignore them, and let them go about their business. I don't want to intimidate them or anything. If they start parking their bikes where they shouldn't again, I'll call the office... every single time. And I will take pictures.

Maybe it's because of how things were when I was growing up, but I don't really think what I said was THAT bad, but I know I still should NOT have said it. It was not my proudest moment. I really do feel worse for causing grief for Corey than saying "S-" in front of two 9 year olds who I am sure have heard a lot worse tho.

I'll probably hear from the office, and that's okay. I'll tell them exactly what happened, and exactly what I said. And I'll tell them that in the future, they can expect their phone to ring off the hook if the kids don't learn anything from what happened last night.

I should have been calling the office about this before it got to this point.

I am sorry the boys were disrespectful of your property.
You have every right to be angry.
hopefully they will shape up and not park on your side.
next time take your pictures and report them to the office.
I think that is a good idea you have.
bizi

Kay,



I also don't think that what you said was bad but parents trying to defend their
obnoxious children will do what they can to pick a fight /change the issue.

I hope that the kids can be convinced to be less obnoxious with the bikes.


M

Thank you, ladies. You made me feel a little less like a monster! lol :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Corey told me yesterday that he's not mad at me. I know he's still obsessing about the whole bike situation. He's more PO'ed about the bikes than me, but not happy about Saturday's altercation.
I've had time to think about the situation, and I'm not so sorry I swore at the kids because it got their parents attention- for better AND worse.
The boys played outside the apartment yesterday, which we have no issue with, and they kept their bikes off the patio. They still don't know, or care to know, where to put their bikes per the agreement with our neighbor, but that's HIS problem.
The father of the kid upstairs stuck a note in our mailbox with his name and number on it, asking us to call him if we have any problems with the neighborhood children. So, there is a way to possibly work this situation out without future bloodshed. I think it was very nice on his part, and I will take him up on his offer, but we will still continue to take pictures, and at the first sign that he is unable, or unwilling, to control the situation, we will get the office involved.
If Corey continues to brood about the situation, I will tell him to "CUT THE S-", too. It is quiet at the moment, so I'm over it now.

Anyway...

Forget how I know, but I KNOW that there is a narrowing somewhere in my intestines, which is obviously why I ended up with the obstruction that landed me in the hospital, tho it was not obvious like this before. And right now, I've been having severe abdominal pain because I'm very constipated. I'm very worried I may become obstructed again, but things are kinda moving at the moment. I did not know whether or not to take Mirilax this morning, but in the end, decided I should. Hopefully, that was the right thing to do.

I'm expecting a call from one of the doctors on the surgical team for a follow-up after my hospital stay, hopefully today. I need to know what to do in my current situation and beyond, and I they need to relay to Dr. Chen that I definitely DO have a narrowing. I don't know what can be done about it, aside from another surgery tho. If I don't hear from them this morning, I may call them this afternoon. Constipation is nothing to sc'ew around with in this situation. I don't want to end up back into the hospital :(

I hope it straightens out.
love
bobby

That is what I'm hoping, and that's how I usually handle things... waiting it out.
Thank you :hug::hug::hug:

Kay

I'm guessing the mom just thought she had to say something because
her son expected her too. But I'm also guessing she doesn't
worry to much about it. Its more for show for her to say something honestly.

She would have wanted to help you work it out if she really cared about her son and his friend. And his bike and what he learns to act like as an adult.

That honestly is how parents who care like the father, do things.
So remember that when she comes to blow her mouth off.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

You make a lot of sense, Donna.

I think the mother wanted to pick a fight, and enjoyed the opportunity to do it, but was more for show, as you said. She was a crazy mess. It looked like she had not bathed in a long time, she couldn't stay on point, was saying some very odd things, and kept making strange (and very amusing) whole arm gestures. I think she's on drugs. She's lucky I didn't laugh in her face. Well, I did when she insisted her son had NEVER left his bike on our side of the patio.

I don't expect to have to deal with her regarding this issue again, if at all. I won't be swearing at anymore children, and I have the father's number now. Hopefully, we can work things out that way.

I decided not to wait for a call from one of the doctors, and called my surgeon's office yesterday. I got a call back from one of the nurses at the hospital, who said that Dr. Chen suggested I go on a liquid diet for the time being to see if I feel better. Another nurse is going to call me today to see how I'm doing, and to try to schedule an appointment with me to see her soon in her suburban office, which is hard enough to get to... there's no way I can drive into Boston.

I do feel better since going on the liquid diet. I had only had a little chicken noodle soup prior to that suggestion being made anyway. I'm not having any pain anymore. I'm still not going to the BR in any meaningful way tho. I think it will take a while, but I think things will work themselves out. I don't know how long I will be on the liquid diet, but right now it's not bothering me. I'm just worried about losing more weight. I've already lost 2lbs of the weight I gained back since coming home from the hospital.

When I see Dr. Chen, I'm going to tell her I'm content with just having D for the rest of my life. I don't want to spend my life in and out of the hospital with small bowel obstructions (I've had plenty of patients with that same problem), but I don't want to have anymore surgeries either.

I'm going to try to make a quick trip to the grocery store a little later today if my stomach feels okay. The walking will do me good.

how about something like this for weight https://www.amazon.com/Orgain-Protei...P9J77EVC3&th=1

Thank you Bobby, but all those protein shakes are grosss!!! I'm not ready for them yet :hug:
I only lost 1/2lb between yesterday and today, so that's not too bad. Honestly, I think this is a good weight for me to be at, but I am concerned about how I got here, and losing more weight that way, because it's not healthy. At some point, I may have to start drinking that crap tho.

I'm still constipated/impacted. I know I'm not obstructed right now (no pain, etc), but aside from some liquid D, which went around the impaction (not a bad thing), nothing is moving. It may be because the passage is just too narrow, but I think I just need more time. This morning things seem a little more promising tho, so maybe something will happen...

I'm glad that I called Dr. Chen, and she suggested I go on a liquid diet because I think that I would be in trouble, or at least in a great deal of discomfort, right now if I didn't. I spoke to a nurse from Tufts this morning who told me that Dr. Chen was of the same mind, that things would probably resolve given time, and I should stay on a liquid or soft diet in the meantime. The secretary from her S office is going to call me tomorrow to schedule an appointment.

Being on a liquid diet, and being unsure of how long I would be on it made meal planning and grocery shopping pretty difficult yesterday. I think I did okay tho. I really didn't enjoy cooking and doing the dishes for a dinner I couldn't eat last night, and am not looking forward to doing it again tonight. Fortunately, I bought things that will be easier for me to cook going forward, whether it's for one or two people.

Today is lottery day, so I will at least get out of the house to do that. I think I will do a little cleaning today, too. Moving around is in my best interests right now.

I am hoping for some normalcy for you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi