Hello New to this forum
 

Hello friends. I feel like I know you all as I have so much in common with you. I suffer from treatment resistant depression and have experienced alcohol abuse. I am alcohol free basically for the past 4 years. No 12 step program per say but I have used many different strategies over the years to decrease alcohol consumption, as I self medicated for years. Now it has very little appeal, as it was basically killing me.

I have a chronic pain disease (approx 20 years) which has left me "disabled" (unable to work outside my home) since 2015, as a result of work related accident, that caused my preexisting disease to become full blown CRPS. Rare neur disease with severe nerve pain in affected areas.

I have a nursing back ground. Never actually completed my RN degree however worked in hospitals, mental health and clinical research for nearly 40 years.

I know how hard life can be and like to think I have survived for 60 odd years, should be able to keep on trucking till my time comes naturally.

Kay. My goodness you are one strong bullsey gal, if you don't mind me saying. You give me strength to carry on.

Thank you all for sharing. Got me through many difficult times.

Welcome!!!
Thank you for sharing and welcome to our little circle of friends.
I am very happy to see you here.


Let me say I am so sorry you suffer with crps....such a terrible disease.


WE do have similar back grounds....I have been sober 12 days.

Am proud of that.
Now if I could get this food, internet addiction in control I would be happier.
Am on a diet so have lost some weight have a lot to lose, I gain 50 pounds in 4 years from drinking fattening craft beers. sigh
Am trying, have lost some water weight so that is fun to see.
I imagine this will take me a year to get off. I am just trying to eat as healthy as possible and no snacking after dinner. And I skip breakfast.


Anyway, welcome again.
May you have as pain free a day as you can have.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Welcome,

As you probably notice I have grown children with disabilities.
Work in the disability world. And have some myself.

I'm just here because these folks are the closest I have to an
support group. We are always happy to see new folks and
are happy you are here.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Thank you for joining our forum. It is such a great support group and offers so much relief. I am so glad you joined and I hope you will allow yourself to get our support.
bobby
ps I have had awful depression most of my life but my doctor a few months ago tried aplenzin and most of the time it has worked for me

Thank you for the warm welcome.

I will definitely look into the med you mentioned Bobby.

I admire your advocacy and support you give so freely DMom.

I try to remind myself that I am the master of my unique journey and what i consume. It was a hard concept at first. I try not to make it more complicated than that. I tend to over think stuff.

I have to go grocery shopping today and keep making excuses why I don't have to go. I just wasted precious energy. I try to cook dinner most nights, as hubby and I don't need extra calories or expense. I am a junk food junky if I let myself. Ice cream tops the list!

ice cream tops my list too. I am afraid to get on the scale and I hope I can now control myself so no more ice cream for a while.
bobby

I am glad to hear that you have a hubby.

Ask him to help you do chores....maybe he does?:o
bizi

Happy Friday All - I hope you are all doing well.

I have acupuncture for my CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome) every 3 to 4 weeks, as needed, and had this past Wednesday. I am having a flare as a result, which sometimes happens, no rhyme or reason.
I slept poorly and have had a slow start to my day.

ate so much ice cream yesterday I have to skip it today.

My husband does a lot around the house and yard. I have to push myself, as I tend to be more sendentary due to chronic pain and depression. I have a daily/weekly "to do" chore list I hold myself accountable for. There are times I can not keep up.

Life sometimes sucks. In the fist half of my life I was a care giver and saw all kinds of human suffering. I gave of myself without abandon. No worry about running out of strength to carry on. Now I am the one "suffering" and this is a hard shift.

Thanks for being here.

I am so sorry. I was a caretaker too. I am so sorry for you pain and depression.
bobby

Welcome to the forum, Rain Shower!

Thank you for the compliment, but I think that we all have to play the hand that we are dealt. I think having a hard life early on, and on, and on, has given me the strength to deal with all this s***.

We have A LOT in common.
I took care of family members. Then I was a home health aid, worked in hospice, and was a CNA in several hospitals, although my career was not nearly as long as yours. I almost finished nursing school before MS cut that short, too.

Being a nurse becomes part of your identity, so when you can no longer practice, it is exceedingly hard (((HUGS)))
I try to tell myself that that was God's way of telling me that I've taken care of enough people, and now it's time to take care of myself, which is difficult... a "hard shift," as you said :hug::hug::hug:

I quit drinking cold turkey because it was killing me, too. It will be 4 years July 20th. I went to some AA meetings, mainly while I was inpatient for an episode of agitated mania, but found that I was better off handling things on my own. I will never have a drink again.

I'm so sorry to hear that you suffer from CPRS. I know that that can cause intractable pain and present a lot of challenges to daily life. I applaud you for trying to stay active and trying to keep up with your list of chores. Between your depression and CPRS, it's totally understandable that there are times that you can't keep up, and have slow starts some days (((HUGS)))
I think that the important thing is that you are trying, and not giving in to the pain- emotional and physical :hug::hug::hug:
I'm glad that your husband helps you a lot. I wish mine would.

I'm sorry that you had a bad reaction to your last acupuncture session... something meant to provide you with relief :hug::hug::hug:
But it seems like you have a good way of looking at that, realizing that sometimes the results vary for unknown reasons.

I'm actually Bipolar I, so my bouts of depression are uncommon, but I do have mixed episodes with depressive features. When I do have episodes of depression, they are not as severe or as difficult to treat as they are for people who have Bipolar II disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, or treatment-resistant depression.
I'm so sorry that you, and others, suffer so much from such terrible depression. I really can't say that I know how you feel because I don't, but I'm here to listen (((HUGS)))

I love my ice cream, too! I eat a pint every night! I don't think that there's anything that I enjoy more in life right now.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better! Welcome again,
Kay

Welcome, Rain Shower! :circlelove:

'Happy to hear that you find acupuncture helpful.

I used to see an acupuncturist.



M

Thank you Mari

I have been receiving acupuncture for many years for pain and more recently also for depression. It seems to help overall more than meds have for me. I have tried many antidepressants, which just do very little for me.

What did you use acupuncture for?

I am currently seeing a MD that does accupuncture but have seen non western medicine practioners in the past. MD now as I am involved in workers comp accident and WC recognizes MD pain management more so than traditional Chinese medicine. The WC case is a whole other story that I won't get into now. what a joke!

Thank you Kay

I miss my work life and find it hard to stay physically active and mentally stimulated so I do home exercises and read some and keep up with clinical research activities. Synthetic cannabis is on the move through the research channels and is doing very poorly, thank goodness. Big pharma needs to back off for sure. Mother Nature already has this one. I agree with you and find it helpful at night.

I try not to give in to the pain. Thank you for saying this. I am not my pain but boy does it slow me down. I use a lot of physical and mental relaxation techniques to ease the discomfort. Also works as good mood booster and distraction.

MS sucks. That's all I can say. Spasticity sucks. I have muscle spasms/cramps but nothing like you experience, for sure. Sending gentle hugs

Rain Shower,

I started seeing the the acupuncturist because I had been dx'd with Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome.


Later she was helping with other things but I can't remember what they were --
perhaps sleep and anxiety.


M

MS does suck. And while my spasticity may be worse than your muscle spasms, I'm sure all my pain can't compare to yours :hug::hug::hug:

I used to read a lot of research articles, but my cognitive function is not what it once was. I'm glad that the synthetic marijuana is not showing the benefits that researchers had hoped it would... there is plenty of evidence of the benefits of cannabis that shouldn't be dismissed. There are drugs out there that need to be FDA approved, and should be made available to patients.

I'm glad that you are also seeing benefits from MJ. I don't know what I would do without it. I can't even take NSAIDS, Baclofen interacts badly with all the Seroquel I take, and I'm afraid that other muscle relaxers will sedate me too much to drive, so it's Tylenol and pot for me.

I'm so glad that you are able to use physical and mental relaxation techniques, and you find them helpful. It's hard for a lot of people to master those practices. I'm a huge fan of any means of distraction myself :hug::hug::hug:

I should try acupuncture at some point.

I recommend accupuncture as an add on to our medical care plan. At first, I was so desperate for anything to help. Every treatment I received helped very little. I feared my positive response would not last. I receive treatments every 6 weeks to 10 weeks as needed. It is an appointment I try to make and keep. We are in process of trying to do them less frequently.

I will be traveling to my fathers this weekend. Helped him buy and move into a smaller house in May and now need to help with painting projects. He is in his 80s and gets around far better than I do. We lost my mom 8 years ago. She lead a tragic life. His new house is a ranch style, with a good sized covered deck and nice mature yard in older neighborhood. Our family home had three floors and was in a busy area. It just sold! Bitter sweet.

your father sounds great. I had acupuncture for ten sessions with a lovely Chinese doctor. The first time I came out laughing. I didn't feel any better for the last 9

Please be careful if you are doing painting as well as other projects for him.
Am sorry you lost your mom.....tell us more if you want to.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I'm so sorry to hear that your mother had such a difficult life, and that she passed away :hug::hug::hug:
I'm glad that you still have your father tho, and that he sounds healthy and active.

Yes, please be careful painting. I couldn't even suggest you not to do it if I wanted to. I do ridiculous things I should not try doing all the time :D
I just hope it doesn't worsen your pain :hug::hug::hug:

Thank you so much for your contributions to the forum. You have been sharing some very sound advice, and have been very supportive of everyone. I just want to let you know how much I appreciate it (((HUGS)))

well said kay!
Me too.
bizi

Thank you so much!

Father already painted areas I planned to help with so we brought 15 large bags of mulch to freshen up landscaping around garage and deck.

Visiting with sister and her family tonight. She opened up a small cafe (45 seats) in small town nearby and is doing a really great business. They have huge smokers so have smoke house specials. She is a very hard worker. We both are.

When I went on disability she had a hard time understanding me "walking" away from my career and earning capacity. Why can't you make this work? No matter how hard we try, trying does not make it happen every time. That was the first of many compromises I had to make due to illness.

We are a very strong group of ladies (and gents). I so enjoy the support we give each other.

so sorry she gave you pressure rather than unconditional support
bobby

15 bags of mulch is A LOT!!!!:eek:
hoping that you spread out the job.....


bizi

Fifteen bags is a lot. We took our truck and it loaded it down. Found out the air conditioner in truck no longer works. Was a warm windy ride 5 hours one way. My dog loved it.

Trip was tiring. I will have to take it easy next couple days. Just doing laundry and making menu for the week so I know what I might need from grocer. I just run out of good ideas. Any good ideas for dinner ladies? I am willing to try anything, as long as it does not require long prep.

I need to give our dog a bath. She is a mini Australian Shepard about 40 pounds.

I will have three grandchildren next weekend. They are 6 and under. Hubby and I will tag team this small herd. My eldest sons children. We have three kids and four grands. They are so much fun and well behaved. The middle child can be a bit bossy/whinny but I just ignore it and he eventually comes around.

Have a great week. Take it one day at a time. I sometimes take it one hour at a time.

how about eggplant parmigiano(sp)

tuna fish sandwiches or in a tomato...hubby made that for dinner tonight, light and delicious...he used 2 bowls one for his miracle whip and one for my real mayo. He put sweet pickles in mine...for got to tell him no and it made mine taste like miracle whip!
and he picked up the best soup at whole foods. spinach lentil...it was delicious.
bizi

Thanks for the suggestions. I need to put these ingredient on my shopping list.

I am making homemade soup today. Either chilli or tortellini veg. Ended up having take out chicken from local place. Delicious. It came with real mashed potatoes, gravy, coleslaw and rolls (16 pieces) for less than 20$. I don't know how they do it because it was large. Giving left overs to daughter and her hubby. She is not well (physically and mentally) and we support them in any way we can, small and large.

Hubbys family home is soon to go on the market so we cleaned some during our trip over weekend. We both grew up in same town. We found his mothers state board of pharmacy certificates, starting in 1946. The first female to graduate from school of pharmacy state of residency. She was a career women and mother of 4 boys married late in life had last child at 45. Lord I admire her. She paid her own way. Here's to strong women.

Have a great Tuesday.

Have had tortellini before, .How do you get them so they are not hard?
chili sounds good too.
bizi
I love fried chicken!

I am so sick of making the same stuff all the time, and have a really hard time coming up with new things to make that don't require a lot of time and energy. I recently made a pork pie. I hadn't made one in ages. It takes a while, but it's pretty easy. I made meatballs the other day, but instead of pan frying them, I brown them in the oven now. It makes life a lot easier.
I love making chili! The leftovers are even better. I have never made tortellini soup before. That's something I'll have to try :)

I can kinda relate to how your sister reacted to you filing for disability. When there was absolutely no way I could work anymore, I called SSA to file, and cried the whole time I was on the phone. But when I told my sister, she told me she liked me better when I was a fighter. I think you have a much better relationship with your sister than I have with mine tho. I'm so glad that her business is going so well.

I understand all too well about making compromises due to illness. I'm so sorry. I know how hard every one of those compromises can be (((HUGS)))

It sounds like you had a great time with your father, sister, and her family, even if the trip was taxing :)
And I bet you and your husband are really looking forward to having your grandchildren over next weekend! :)

I am so impressed by your mother-in-law! What a strong woman! Are her certificates in good enough shape to frame?

Hugs to you both. Its hard to give up the dreams along with
the jobs. But you have to do what is best for yourself.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

The frozen cheese tortanllini only take 3 minutes to boil. They can be boiled separately and added last or they can be added at last 5 or so minutes of soup cooking and boil them for 3 or until they float. Or simmer till some float. Cook too long and they may fall apart. Worth the trouble. I don't use dried.

My chili is so easy I use v8 juice, can tomatoes, spices to taste, hamburger, brooks mild or hot chilli beans, and what ever you have on hand in the pepper department even celery. Cook for at least 1 hour, longer is better. I even put macaroni in if serving a crowd. Can be doubled so easy. Cheese, diced tomato, onion, and sour cream tops it off if desired. Yummy

Thank you for the idea of the frozen tortellini.
Chili sounds good too!
bizi

I'm definitely going to have to make some chili now! :)

I finally got some sleep last night. I took .5 clonopin. Had to sleep. It was interrupted but did not crawl out of bed till after 9. I am usually up by 5. Laying ther waiting for sun to rise.

My neck is giving me trouble. Using heating pad, topical and doing PT as usual. Not much is helping. Will need a prn soon.

Made the tortellini last night. Added chicken, peas and calamalta olives to parm cheese sauce. I use canned white meat chicken from Costco. So nice to have on hand and a salid. Ice cream for desert.

Started cleaning the kitchen and floors yesterday. Need to clean refrigerators. Pulled a few weeds this am. Moving slow.

i think you are doing too much. Have you tried blu emu for pain?
bobby

I will try it. Does it have an aroma?

You get the original blue emu with out an odor. I got my moms from amazon. Bobby got me the link.
bizi

I’m so glad you got some sleep! :)
My legs used to get up at 5 or 6am every morning, but I’ve been sleeping much better since I’ve started smoking more Indica dominant strains of MJ.

Your soup sounds fantastic! :)

I’m sorry that you’re neck is bothering you so much, but it sounds like you have a good plan of attack! Blue Emu is good stuff, and is at least worth a try. I am very attached to my heating pads tho...
I hope that your pain subsides (((HUGS)))

You have some very ambitious plans for the day. I hope that you don’t over do it, but you are probably well acquainted with your own limits by now :hug:

How are you doing Rain shower?

How are you sleeping, and how is your neck feeling?

I hope that you’re doing alright :hug:

I am hanging in there. Bladder spasms and neck is giving me trouble. I over did it with grandkids. Hubby went out with out of town friend which I had to decline. Feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm just too tired. Still having spotty sleep. Too tired to cook so had a PBJ and chips for dinner.

Tomorrow will be a new day. Hope everyone is doing better.