Friend who is trying
 

Hello ~ This may be somewhat triggering. It's about me and what is happening to my neighbor.

Two weeks ago, I went to my neighbor's apartment to help care for her cat. I had another neighbor with me. When I saw the condition of my neighbor, I went in immediately and asked if she needed to go to the ER. She was out of it, pretty much, hot and clammy. She asked me to check her blood pressure, fortunately I had a bp cuff. Her bp was 201/100. I tented the skin on her hand and it did not snap back down, she was severely dehydrated. I asked again if she should go to the ER and her friend asked me to leave the room. I was asked not to come back due to insisting she go to the ER, all's she needed to do was sleep since she was very sleepy, which I thought was very odd. This sick neighbor is 83 years old.

Three days later, this sick neighbor came to my home and explained to me, to my horror that that was a suic*de attempt she was following thru with. She had stopped her insulin, her blood pressure medication, stopped eating and drinking for 3 days. She still did not look well, but she assured me she was feeling better. She thanked me for trying to help her.

As she was leaving, she said she still was suic*dal and wanted to end her life that night again and walked out of my apartment. I immediately followed her and the other neighbor was there in her apartment. I insisted again that she should go in for an assessment immediately and I will call 911. She said she would call her doctor in the morning to see if her doctor could put her in the hospital for an assessment. I went back to my apartment and called 911. Only the police came and apparently she talked them out of everything and they left. The neighbor assured me she would stay overnight with the suic*de neighbor, which she did not. The following morning she went to see her "chiropractor" instead, refused to call her psych doc and that was two weeks ago and she has not sought help and has gone off her own psych meds.

The reason I am putting my experience out here is because of my history of attempted suic*de 4 years ago. It brought it all back to me, I had forgotten alot of what I went thru, but there I was standing beside someone who was actively trying to end her life. I was there with her and had no idea what was going on. And then the police did nothing. Every time I see her in the hallway, she looks like a ghost walking. I stopped taking care of her cat, I am just having a very difficult time reconciling all this in my mind.

I went back to my psych doc who will be putting me in partial hospitalization for stabilization and adjusting my current medication to give me more coverage. I am having alot of difficulty sleeping, nightmares, jumpy, feeling overly tired and fatigued and very very depressed over what I experienced and there is nothing more I can do. In my state, the police will not arrest someone attempting suic*de, although it is against the law to commit this act. Just does not make sense to me.

So, I have had to step away from her until I can get the help for myself as this was highly triggering and just being diagnosed as BiPolar II, now having awful mood swings.

The whole experience haunts me. I don't know how I will react if she does go thru with it. I have done everything legally to help her and she is refusing help.

Thank you for listening.

Blue

Blue you need to take care
of you. I’m sorry this whole experience has triggered you and that’s certainly understandable all things considered. You reached out, you cared you tried. I think you are wonderful.

Thank you Alfie for your response :) I checked out your link and read thru it, an excellent link, thank you for that. I bookmarked it for future reference.

It's soo nice to feel praise and acknowledgment what I experienced. Validation is key to moving thru the process.

Blue

Thank you for your post.....Have been dealing with some issues. You really helped me rethink my situation.


Gerry

You are most welcome Gerry ~ I hope I have been of some help.

Blue

Yesterday, during a community gathering for my senior home, I saw my "neighbor". The minute she saw me, she did not smile, but looked down and quickly moved away. I watched her and noticed her sitting all alone, not engaging with anyone. She looked soo sad and withdrawn. She appears to be getting worse. However, she came with another neighbor who is aware of her situation. I'm glad she came, as being around other people does often help, but she looked closed off, with a pinched expression to her face, to what was going on around her and kept looking down at her hands

Every time I see her, I am drawn back to that night. There is nothing more I can do to help her, I have tried everything I know to help her and she has resisted. Fortunately, she has her close neighbors to help her.

This just haunts me soo much. I don't want anything to happen to her.

Finally, I found a highly specialized therapist who can help me with this experience. Will be seeing her in two weeks.

Blue, feeling more blue now.

I am so sorry to read what you have been going through with your neighbour. It's a very difficult situation and you have let her know that you are there for her if she needs you. It is hard to stand by and watch someone trying to self destruct.

I am in the UK and the law here regarding suicide is different as it is no longer a crime. If a person has mental capacity, then they have the right to self determination, which includes ending their life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to help or dissuade them from taking what is a final step though.
It sounds as though you have been a good friend and neighbour to this woman who is clearly in such distress.
Take care of you too. I hope seeing the therapist helps you deal with the trauma of this situation.

Kind regards
E.

Hello East ~ I feel honored that a member responded to my thread here and that you understand about this issue *smiles*. Recently connected with a trauma therapist and we are beginning the recovery process in dealing with raw emotions that are still unsettling me. My neighbor has survived so far and I am glad for her, but we have gone our separate ways for now. However, I am invited to a tea that she will be attending, perhaps that will rekindle things for us and I'll be happy to see her again.

Blue