My brother
 

*************** Please use care when reading ***************






My baby brother (the father my my boy that I'm raising since just before his second b'day) is not doing well again.

When he called me and said they key words that we'd agreed to, my heart literally dropped to my knees...in unmeasurable fear and unspeakable sadness.

I immediately flashed back to when he did succeed. I say "succeed" because he was actually "gone to this world" for a while and they didn't know how he'd wake up due to prolonged lack of oxygen.

I remember his waking up and my immediate joy. He was OK! Then I remember the absolute CRUSH of his extreme anger and disappointment that he did wake up. Reality hit me at that moment, I think.

So, while he's kept his promise to me by telling me (or someone) before it reaches that point again, I can't escape the fear and concern... At times like this I pray that I can escape the almost hatred I feel toward those that hurt him so much.

KD

It's so sad to know that people are hurting so deeply inside that they feel the need for such extreme action.:(
Just so sad for all that feel that way.
Peace and blessings for your whole family.

Thank you (((((( Jo ))))))

It is hard...

KD

man kimmy i am sorry.

what are your plans since he has shown intent now? intervention?

Alffe and I are on Michigan St. in Chicago, and sending your our love and prayers.

(((((((((((((((KD)))))))))))))):(

I do hope there is a plan to help him

I am praying for him, and for you too Kimmy

so many burdens you have had to bear. you only have human shoulders and I pray that you have others who can help now too. :grouphug:

14 years ago, this past May, he made his first and most serious attempt...the one I referred to above.

He made me a promise then, and actually signed his name to that promise, that he would tell someone with the words, "I need to go to the hospital" or "I might need to go to the hospital soon." It's how I and my mother know. He won't ask for specific help there, so he says those words.

However, he's also made other statements that know one would know, etc.

I have to stand on this...he's kept his promise all these years though difficult for him to do so. Three other times he's called me and said, "I need to go to the hospital" and he has. They always immediately admit him due to history...last time was for weeks, not the 72 hour hold...

I have to trust him now as well...

Also, he's been less suicidal since his boy's been born, so I will continue to discuss his boy with him as I need to.

Right now it's watch and see.

I appreciate the care. :)

KD

Thank you cheri, and thank you alffe and doody for the prayers and thoughts.

No, there's really no one else...everyone in our family, and extended, are maxed out with HUGE things right now...including me...

Thanks again so much.

I'll be praying for you and your brother. I'll be praying for your entire family.
May God hold you and keep you.

Dear KimmyDawn,
I'm very sorry to read about your brother. :hug:
I take it that when he phones you and says that then he's about to take himself to the hospital? It's really a good thing that he's willing to call you and let you know how badly he's feeling despite how sad his situation is right now... it shows and tells you that he really doesn't want to feel so badly. Not that anyone does want to feel that way, it's just very difficult for some people to actually tell someone else and to ask for help.
I hope you've heard from him since you wrote your first post and that he's gone for help and you know where he is now. Shocking worry for you all there, KD.
Thinking of you and your brother and your family.
I hope that a plan has been put into place and that he's gone to the hospital for help.