I really need a friend - Please help me
 

I am 30 and my Mum is 55. She was diagnosed with Parkinsons about 4 years ago. At the time I was living quite a way from my parents and I guess I didn't ever really deal with it, I don't remember ever crying or doing any research, or any of the things that you would expect, I just pushed it to the back of my mind and carried on as normal. Even when I came to visit and began to notice the signs of it in my Mum I just ignored it and carried on as normal.

Then about 6 months ago I was moved with work and now live about 20 miles away from my parents, of course after 10 years away they are really pleased to have me nearby and are always asking me to go over for Sunday dinner etc, all the usual things, and suddenly every time I go over I am confronted with how much she has deteriorated. The stupid thing is it has been over 6 months, but seems to have only hit me properly this weekend.

The thing is I don't even think it is that bad yet, it is affecting her left side, so she drags her foot when she walks and of course her hand shakes, and she looks so frail and somehow so old too, but she is still working full time and living a pretty normal life, but I am finding myself avoiding going over, and only staying for an hour when I do, and making excuse after excuse not to spend time with her, I love her so much but just can't seem to deal with seeing her.

I guess I should maybe talk to my Dad, I really don't want to upset him or my Mum, I just want to make things better so we can spend some time together, I am so aware that I wont be living so close for long (I am in the military so will probably be moved in a year or 2) and of course I am also aware that every day I leave it could be another day where she is able to talk to me and do things with me wasted.

I was hoping by posting this message that I could maybe get in touch with someone who understands what I am going through, who can maybe answer some of my questions. I have been such a crap daughter and I want it to stop today. I want to be there for my Mum.

Hi Lynn

I have copied your post over to our Parkinson's forum as well as the members there are very helpful and will be best able to give you the advice and support you need to be there for your mom

here is the link to your post there so you can check for replies
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...ad.php?t=29173

Cheri

The fact that this reality is so difficult to accept suggests to me that you love your mom a great deal. When you do not live close to a situation it makes it just that much easier to remain in denial. As articulate and self aware as you are I hazard a guess that your mother may be cut out of the same cloth and indeed understand some of the dynamic that has taken place.There is a process of grieving that begins when a family member has a life altering physical condition .You can read about the stages of grief and see where you arein the process. Guilt ,like your feeling is also an indication that you are anything but a crap daughter.Be kind to yourself. I think your instincts are right on as well... you will probably feel better if you can move past denial and make an effort to spend time with your parents before you get transferred.

Lynn,

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Great to see you have come to be with us. You will find a great number of caring, supporting members here willing to help each other as they can.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. You and your family are in my prayers.

Darlene:hug:

Hello
 

I have been Diagnoised with trigeminal Neuralgia and as happy to find your site. Mine began 25 years ago after a botched root canal and in 1998 I had a severe whiplash.

Neurontin, Tegretal, Dilantin nothing works and I am so zoncked out I can't get out of bed. It's also caused me anxiety, insomnia.

I went to yoga to try and get some control over body and mind and it actually helped me sleep, didn't rid me of all pain but made me feel stronger. Unfortunately I broke my foot and cannot go. My sleep patterns have gone back to worse..........I feel I have something in my teeth since I was told by a dentist that he saw an oil drain out he has never seen before! I always feel that if there was a dentist for these things my pain would be solved.

Thanks and any advice is appreciated.

Cheryl