Don't know how I am holding on
 

'Stayed in the apt all weekend even though I made plans to go to the gym.

'Feel like crap. Crying. 'Feel like I have no energy. Maybe something is wrong with me. I want to be OK.

Work tomorrow. I need to shower tonight/right now because it's been a few days and I won't feel like it tomorrow in the am. Anyone else hate showering?
What clothes to wear? I can't find things that fit and that look ok.

'Tried to see the accupunturist on Sat/yesterday but we got our phone signals crossed. Maybe she can help me next weekend.


Mari

showers can seem too stimulating so yes i have trouble with them too. If I don't think about it and just do it it is easier.
I am so sorry you are feeling crappy...if it is any consolation I do too. I am ready to jump out of my skin and flipping in and out of depression.
I am certain you will feel better. You have been under so much pressure and we bipolars aren't famous for handling pressure or change. The guy from work had to have really shaken you up a lot and it takes awhile even if the situation is resolved to calm down from that.
I hope you can take some more time away from work.
Bobby

I certainly understand about having so much to think about. I am really going through the ringer right now myself. I just hope that things work out well. :) Can't live in fear all the time. And I hate showering too, but I hate that my tub is just so hard to get in and out of. I need to get a better bath bench, then it wouldn't be so hard. :)

I hope you can find what to wear and get that resolved, I hate trying to pin point outfits. :p Never much fun IMO. Hope you get through this week okay Mari. I know how hard it is to deal with working, I remember what it was like. :( So hard, I doubt I can get a job and work again. :p I admire you for being able to. :) Hang in there Mari. :hug:

called my tdoc
 

Hi,
Thanks.
I called in sick.
Then I called my tdoc to see if she has an opening today. She called and said to come right in. (I last saw her in August.)

I don't know what is going on. I have a hard time keeping up with basic personal hygiene. I am late to work every time. I feel like distancing myself from what is going on there and adapting a different attitude -- like show up and come home. My group reliies on me for leadership, but I think that it is time to hand over the reigns to someone else, officially or unoffially, or both.

I hope that I am not late for the tdoc. Lateness bugs her.

Mari

I am sorry that you are feeling in a funk.
HOpefully your tdoc can help you figure some of this out.
I too am resistant to showering....
and I have been late everyday too...and I wear scrubs for work so no decisions there, I am a mess on the weekends when I have to wear "real clothes"....

Wish this were easier for you...how is hubby ...being supportive I hope.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:grouphug:

I thought I was the only one with a Showering Issue!!!! I have to force myself in, and I'm down to once a week (gross!) I like to be clean, and I used to love taking baths once a day, but in the last year or two I just can barely manage to undress and get in.
Is it the abrupt change in temperature? too many changes in temperature and textures in a rapid succession? too many tasks to sequence? (turning on taps, adjusting temp, wetting down, shampoo, conditioner, soap, shaving, rinsing, toweling, shivering...)
And choosing what to wear is impossible! takes an hour!
and being late to work!!!!! practically got fired
I now have a friend who comes over every single work morning (God bless her). She rousts me out of bed, picks out my outfit, makes me tea, and doesn't leave until I'm in my car and pulling out of the driveway. Fortunately she understands the shower aversion thing, and the most she ever says is "Is today a shower day? Can I help you get in?"
But seriously - now I'm supposed to be fully medicated and I'm still having these problems???? what is it with Bipolar and Getting Ready in the Morning??

Mari,

I'm started to hate showers myself. It seems like some of us are not up to par lately, I know I have not been. Could it be the Holidays approaching? I also remember a co-worker of yours you had/have problems with. I hope that is settled with that situation. How was your day today? I am so far behind on everything here not having a computer. Take care and hang in there.

befuddled2

this is a very good friend!!!!!!
Wish I had someone to help me like this.

Mari,
How did your therapy session go.
I hope you can sleep tonight and rest at least....
hopefully hubby is being very supportive right now for you...
I am sorry it is so hard.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi, Befuddled,
That's nice to ask about me.
I will answer about my office mate in my other trigger thread.


Holidays are weird becuase they do affect me but not in the way that other people are affected.

I don't really do the holidays.
I remember my mother dragging us to church/mass on All Souls Day and All Saints Day (The nights before Nov 1 and Nov 2) We did that instead of trick or treating.

And my family doesn't really do Christmas. No presents!

So all that is left is Thanksgiving. Hubby likes turkey. I usually buy him one already cooked and we eat it with store cooked stuffing.

That's my big holiday scheme. He and I don't even bother with our birthdays. Too much stress for me.

Mari

feeling better
 

Hi All,


The Shower / Bath thing: :Sinking:
I wish I knew what is going on with the shower thing. It could be the temperature. But don't we usually make it hot before we step in? It could be all the stimulation on our skin that Bobby speculated one time.
I do hate to remember all I have to do in there and then be careful about getting out. Too many tasks to sequence as Molly says.
It seems to get a little worse if I am depressed.

Molly, you have a wonderful friend.



My Tdoc: http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy/chat.gif
I don't even remember what we talked about but she made me feel better.
After 2 mins wth her I realized that I don't want to offer to take my boss's old job. It is too much work and really no benefit for it. And my collegues can get over it and leave me alone!

She gave me some suggestions about how to help hubby and me function better.

And we made an appointment to see each other in a couple of weeks. -- That means another day to call in and cancel work but she think it is better to keep up a kind of maintenance rather than wait to do major repair.

She told me I need to do relaxation techniques at least 5 mintues a day http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/ex...e/meditate.gif
-- I think mainly so that I can stay in practice and then draw on those techniques when I need them.

After her session I went window shopping a newish mall for me and got blisters because I was wearing the wrong kind of shoes. Then I felt stupid for getting lost twice. I even had to ask for help to get out of the store to find the parking lot!

Oh and I need something I like to do between work and home. Like take a walk or something else to keep me from coming home and eating out of frustration when I am not even hungry. After the blisters on the bottom of my feet from the stupid sandals, I changed my mind for now and decided to find a very short relaxation/hypnois CD to play on my computer before I leave the office. :boy(music):


'Took a nap.

That was my day. :)

Thanks for asking.

Mari