Talking about suicide....
 

I am getting so many personal messages here from people who are afraid to talk about what they are feeling for fear of triggering others..or fear of being misunderstood.

We shouldn't feel like we are walking on eggs...we need to identify the elephant in the room. (everyone is familiar with that....right?)

Nohope I hear a lot of anger in your words....and guilt about the anger...and longing for what used to be. All those emotions are normal when someone we love kills themself and ruins our lives. It sounds like you had it all and he threw it away....how could you not be angry about that!

What a horrible legacy to leave his children. And the "core of your pain"...we are the walking wounded. It's a very long journey to the other side but you've begun....:grouphug: And we are all going to get there!

TALK PLEASE TALK!!!!

I can't say anything else.....

Alffe,

It is a subject that many find very fearful to speak the word suicide, not to mention the devastation it leaves behind. Many think that a person that commits suicide is selfish, I once thought that, until a very dear friend took his life. He left behind his wife and two small children. However, his wife told me that it was a relief in some ways, she was angry that he would such a thing to himself. She was relieved because she would not have to face the struggles of living with his many mood swings. Some said she probably did it herself, others said she drove him into doing the deed.

I say, he was a man that needed help and no one realized just how much until it was too late. That each of us have our own faults, whether we are angry, relieved or whatever emotion and therein lies the problem of why people will not talk about suicide or the feelings it leaves behind. The fear of being judged the same as the loved one that is no longer here. People still, with all the other troubles in this world, put more emphasis on a person that takes their own life as a "crazy, selfish, stupid and the list goes on" person rather than one who was hurting so much, that hope was gone.

I do hope that people will answer your post, because the only way to work through the feelings is to deal with them....one at a time until healing or some sense of peace is found.

I think of my friend often and in that moment of him pulling the trigger, I doubt anyone could have saved him, not knowing is what we live with and what we have to come to terms with in order to continue along the path.

To those that are keeping your feelings locked inside...think about letting them out, to rid yourself of the darkness that is disrupting your life so that you might once again enjoy the day each one as it comes.

Thank You Alffe for such a thread.

perhaps they are afraid to?
 

dear alfee,
in the state of MO. they will arrest you for attempting suicide or saying you are going to commit suicide, even telling this to a psychiatrist in some states
will end with you being jailed or put in the mental hospital, muchis still very archaic in this area, maybe we should have blackout threads, some will use the trig -thingy for the post -red button with X on it -warning this post may trigger
bad emotions -or maybe not for some to read...
so instead of saying the words -I am su - c--d-l -
we should use codes like BNOTS - black night of the soul...or that poetic way Shakespeare wrote it -to be or not to be -that is the question?
luv,

I think people hold back for several reasons.

Fear that someone they know in "real" life will stumble across their words...

Fear that they might say the wrong thing or be misunderstood (which happens a lot when we interpret the written word) ...

I wish people would talk more, too... because when we do.... look where it goes... we find out we are not alone.

xoxox

I will not stop talking about suicide....I spent 8 years NOT talking about it after my son killed himself. I think throwing a bright light on how many people suffer with those thoughts or live with the anger and guilt after losing someone they love to suicide will be educational. And perhaps even comforting to learn that it's common to think those thoughts and to acknowledge them. (((David)))...to know that we aren't alone or crazy..we are just struggling.

I'm fond of saying that when you are in that black hole of depression, you tend to forget that it has sides! What I mean by that is even if you can't see the light...it's there, on the other side. And there are people reaching out to help you up...to let you know that you aren't alone.

I have had that kind of help from complete strangers so I know it's there.
I also know that people can't help you if they don't know how you feel.

not everyone can talk or post about suicide.

but we know the posts of those that do, are READ. i am grateful for each and every word.

you might post the exact words that someone is feeling or has felt. they know they aren't alone. that is what is important.

so if you are person who can just read the words we write here...just know that we care. we are here for you, even if you can't reply.

:grouphug:

And Alffe continues to shine her bright light on all of us:grouphug: I am on a rollar coaster of emotions and find some days are unbearable. My children are demanding of my time and attention leaving me little to myself. My phone no longer rings from caring friends. I appreciate being able to come here and feel like I am with my family and true friends. Thanx for all your support!:)

Hi Vicc...It's ok to talk about your feelings. It isn't ok to say I'm going to kill myself! We all have felt suicidal at one time or another...talking about it helps make it go away. *grin