Listen
 

well I have been looking for this for days and finally gave up. When I went to get our London journal to jog my memory, there is was...thank you Michael.

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I
shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do
something to solve my problems,
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen,
not to talk or do - just hear me.
Advice is cheap: 10 cents will get you both
Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to
do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what
I feel, not matter how irrational, then I quit trying to
convince you and can get about the business of understanding
what's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I
don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's
behind them. Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for
some people because God is mute, and he doesn't give advice or
try to fix things. "They" just listen and let you work it out
for yourself.

So, please listen and just hear me. If you want to talk, wait a
minute for your turn, and I'll listen to you.

Anonymous

:hug: Alffe, thank you so much for posting this.

I am having to learn to just "listen" to a loved one going thru much turmoil:( and it has been very hard to "hear"........
reading those words has really really helped me:o.

thank you so much :hug:

I feel like I've been SCREAMING those exact words with a muted voice!!!


Thank you for sharing.... I think I will print it out and hand it to a couple of people...


:hug:
Abbie

I like that Alffe thanks for posting it!

message:
 

Bumping this up for Hypermom...

I am bumping this up again because moi reminded me of the importance of listening to our friends...he listened with his heart and his friend was able to open up and talk about "it".

And I am reminded that respect for each other defines how we live our lives.

Hugs for the room. :grouphug:

another bump :grouphug:

"Suicide is a different kind of death and only survivors understand. Other kinds of death are treated with sympathy and compassion. Ours is treated with reactions of horror, questions and distancing, blank stares. Our challenge is to mourn without understanding, without knowing why and learning to live without answers."

A Survivor's Experience in Healing by JoAnn Chavez

bump
 

bumping for Mutton