overcoming the fear of pet loss
 

Hi fellow pet lovers :grouphug:

I would really appreciate hearing from those with cat families on how you have overcome the fear of losing a pet.

Old timers here will know the saga of our Shadow, the upper kitty in my siggie.
He has neurological problems, impaired vision, as well as suspected celiac disease, and came close to death once and was also lost for two days, and that nightmare night.

well
the story of Shadow's disappearance ended well, when he was found in a storm drain by neighbors who had seen the flyers I plastered over the area.:circlelove:

and during his absence, I rescued 2 lil SpiceGirl kittens:p, Catsby & Twisp, while searching for Shadow at our Humane Society shelter

soooooooo
we have our 2 older cats, Snowball and Gravy, who are free to go out whenever they choose.
We have Twilight, Shadow's brother,(also in my siggie pic ) who is now a very regal and large yearling, and we allow out freely by day, but keep in at night, as we have some mean toms around here, especially with the stream and woods behind our house.

I have had many cats over the past 30 years since my first ever black kitty, Nelson, :Heart: and have never hesitated to introduce them to the outdoors once they were thru their vaccinations and neuter/spay stuff. I have lived thru old age and illness and injury taking pets lives:Sob::icon_cry::icon_sad:

But since Shadow got lost, me and family, and *especially* my son who has OCD, + hubby are simply put terrified of Shadow going out, even with the supervision we always used to give him till that day when he left the garden without us noticing :o and dint come home, and again had some tremor/seizures for a few days after being rescued....
and
where by now I would have introduced Twisp and Catsby to supervised and then Twilight's "hours", I am concerned, and my son again really nervous about it too

with Shadow....hmmmm...I am suggesting we try the supervised short periods with Shadow in the yard, hoping he wont bound off too fast to catch, or into the road, or all the other things that seem to loom when we think of him out....silly I know but I am sure understandable too

I am ready to start letting Twisp and Catsby out but I also have to balance my son's fears on this, and approach this very gently.

so
tell me some stories please and help me and my son work thru this:grouphug:

thanks
Cheri :)

I totally understand this problem.
 

We had two young toms (neutered) in a row. Both got hit by cars.
When Rufus died, I was totally upset. The experienced Vet said males do this, dumb things even if neutered.

Females on the other hand, are smarter, stay closer to home, and behave. They seem to understand danger better because they are programed to take care of kittens.

Eventually, we got a new kitten, our black and white. I didn't let her out until she was 6mos old. At first we went out with her every time. But she is reckless to some extent too. Up North she tended to run off and get lost. Prompting search parties on the island. She is now 6 yrs old and a bit more sedate.

I think alot depends on the cat. Females tend to be more sensible...so the Spice Girls may stay close.

I would not let Shadow out alone...maybe he will grow more sedate later, but with his neuro deficits he shouldn't be out when you are not out. I'd have to see Shadow in action, to give a more accurate suggestion.

We trained each cat to come when called. That helps ME be less anxious.
I have a funny noise I make and they learned that food treat follows, so they are now pretty good at it. I am more or less decided on a small dog when Sheba passes, however. I don't think I'll have 3 cats anymore.

The "fear factor" is hard to deal with... so alot depends on the maturity of the cat. If the cat has dopey qualities (like Rufus had)...well, those are the ones you worry about. If you have a cat door, this is also helpful. We have 2 cat doors, one leading to a screened porch and one to the upstairs bedroom. For 3/4 of the year I have that window open, and Tippy and Oreo can come and go (Sheba can no longer jump up to use it). I have found that with a cat door they tend to stay in more...strange as that seems. Cats HATE closed doors, so if there is access all the time, they tend to come home and stay here more.

Smart sensitive people tend to react to loss severely...I don't know how to tell you to moderate that. It is really hard to deal with.