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weight watchers prose
Only One Pound
Hello, do you know me? If you don't you should. I'm a pound of fat, and I'm the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet. Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm Only One Pound, just a pound. Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds or fifteen pounds, but never only one, so I just stick around and happily keep you fat. Then I add to myself ever so slyly so that you never seem to notice it, that is until I've grown to ten, twenty or even more pounds in weight. Yes, it's fun being Only One Pound of fat, left to do as I please. So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying "Oh, I only lost one pound." (as if that were such a terrible thing!) For you see, if you do this you'll encourage others to keep me around because they will think I'm not worth losing. And I love being around you your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you. Happy Days!! After all, I'm Only One Pound of fat!!! - Author Unknown |
Weight Watcher Prayer
The Program is my Shepherd, I shall not want. It prevents me from lying down on the sofa and leads me to a sweaty aerobics class. It restores my favorite tight jeans. It guides me down the path of slimness for its namesake. Even though I walk through the valley of red light food, I will fear no restaurant. For you are with me, your Leaders and your Staff, they will comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of balanced meals. You anoint my bread with pure virgin olive oil and my bladder runneth over with H20. Surely goodness and confidence will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the meetings once a week forever and ever. - Author Unknown |
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