Confused Bipolar or OCD
 

I'm confused regarding my current diagnosis. I thought I had OCD which was characterized by obsessive thoughts only, however, after having had three major depressive epidsodes in the last ten years, my psychiatrist is talking bipolar. I'll go months even years with no symptoms of OCD, where everythings seems great and then I'll start having irrational, obsessive thoughts which I cannot shake. After about a week or two of these thoughts I'll go into a major depression where I'll get to the point of not wanting to continue on if I have to be haunted by these thoughts. This depression generally lasts about two to three months until the anti-depressents kick in. My obssessive thoughts tend to be things which I know are unlikely and irrational, but I can't shake the feeling of impending doom or feeling that I'll lose my grip on reality. It's like my thoughts are processed as real incidents even though I am aware that they are unreal and irrational. Also, after each episode I feel like I've lost something in quality of life. Although the thoughts simmer down or I acclimate to them, it's like I've been traumatized by them, like someone with Post traumatic stress. Anyone have thoughts on this? Does this sound like potential bipolar. The psychiatrist is talking seroquel?

WElcome to the forums peace of mind.
There is alot of information on the net regarding bipolar....
the above stickies have specific web sites and information to read.
Have you had a chance to read any of that yet?
Having mental health issues effects everything that we do and who we are.

I am bipolar 1. Have been hospitalized for mania/psychosis a couple of times in the past. This usually involves delusional thinking, paranoia bad judgement and recklessness behavior. Fortunately I have been stabilized with a few meds and am very much in tune with my triggers....keep my stress low and I have a terrific support system set up.
I am glad that you found us.
bizi

Dear Peace of Mind,

Here is a link about "soft bipolar."
http://www.psycheducation.org/depres...osis.html#soft

Here is a link about anxiety and bipolar:
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/Anxiety.htm

The whole web site is helpful.
You can google "soft bipolar" and find other sites.

I have no experience with Seroquel, but lots of people do well on it. One of its side effects is that it helps people sleep, especially when they first start taking it.

Mari

Hmmmm.. very interesting
 

I could really identify with the second link, especially the part about the agitated anxiety. And feeling that you have too much energy within so much so that it becomes uncomfortable. That agitation is specifically what I get during what I call my major depressive episodes. I have that agitation coupled with extreme sadness, obsessive thoughts cycling over and over, and and innability to sleep. During my most recent major depression last december, I literally forced myself to go to work everyday even though I felt like crying all the time and couldn't sleep. I forced a smile onto my face and got to my cubicle as fast as I could without crying. Once settled, All I wanted to do was cry all day. But I think that because I am an accountant and my job requires so much focus, it forced me to take me mind off the obessions. The other thing I found interesting with the 2nd link is the fact that it related bipolar disorder to OCD. I found this to be very interesting because I had some of the same obsessions it discussed as being common to those with bipolar disorder. I will definately be seeking a second opinion just to be sure. I just want to find as much as I can about bipolar disorder before considering seroquel. I do agree with the concept of the disorder being part of a spectrum, with varying levels of severity.

HI there just found your post and wondered how you are doing?
Have you been able to get more information?
Do you have a therapist to help you cope?
Your last depression sounded awful.....
I am sorry that you are dealing with all of these issues.
What helps you break free from the depression?
bizi

Peace of Mind: I really recognize a lot from your top post. I am also not altogether convinced of being bipolar but I must admit I have not yet studied it enough to see if/where i fit in. I have several disorders in my diagnosis.

“then I'll start having irrational, obsessive thoughts which I cannot shake.” At this point I have found a solution to prevent having to go the rest of the course: I start jogging, in a style aimed at improving staying power. If you like I can give you an exact description. I had at one point decided against ever medicating again and was in a really frightening situation where these thoughts were harming my health and unbearable in general. So I figured that, since I have trouble shedding waste chemicals from my body, and since this seemed to be an overdone fright and flight reaction, I could at least try to burn excess adrenaline. It worked a treat. I also drank more water because of the waste chemicals. Jogging makes you drink more anyway.

I also am now convinced that every episode of fearful thinking to this kind of obsessive levels actually does harm me. The brain is a very trainable thing and one can train certain words or smells or whatever to be connected with fear, grief, all sorts of unpleasant feelings, so more and more words or other things will become triggers to feel them after more episodes of this sort of thinking. That does constitute a loss of quality of life, to me. Whenever I spot one of the negative links I look for a way to see this is untrue and then I find a positive statement or action to counteract it that I repeat over and over until the harm is undone.

PS Two other ways to break an obsession I have found: Go to a sun-parlor and be locked in that incredibly hot tube for half an hour. Nicer but more expensive: go to one of those comprehensive sauna's, with dry heat, steam, cold pool, hot pool etc. for an afternoon. Make the round twice if you have to. Beats jogging as for enjoyment. Gets rid of waste chemicals just as well.

Hi Peace of mind
 

I just read your post. Yes,Yes,Yes !!!!!!!!!!! I feal that exact thing that you mentioned at the end of your first post on this thread. It's like something that I have written,but you hit the nail on the head. I feal traumatized after a obsessive/compulsive flux,when I know that the things aren't real,but I cannot shake the thoughs,or feelings. Yes,I know exactly what you are talking about,and that's one of the things that I experience. !!!!!!!! I have the periods of depression also,that last for a long time. I have had a few times in my life when I have felt like I was on the top of the world,and I had tremendous Joy,and felt great. I still had the anxiety,but it wasn't as bad. The panic attacks had stopped,but came back. I have more symptoms,but I won't go there right now. I've already written allot of them on my other posts. Brokenfriend