On losing my companion
 

Many of you know of my rhyme attacks! But not amusing ones this time. Here are my tributes to Edgewood Reeves - my precious kitty - who went to the other side eight months ago. They say it all.

TO REEVES, A TRIBUTE

Yes, for months now I’ve watched, and denial was great
While eating with relish, you were still losing weight
And the vet said his tests showed nothing was wrong
Except perhaps age, which comes to us all if we live for so long

But then you stopped running down the path to the gate
When I came home from work or shops, where you’d usually wait
The path had become just a few feet too long
He’s tired, I would think, but I was so terribly wrong

And then you stopped going out altogether you see
And began using the litter tray, which was an omen to me
And then bouts of sickness and staggering too
Yes, I realised then what I really must do

So off again to the vet, this time with heavy heart
I suspected there was little he could do for all that.
And again the tests happened, but this time, a year on,
What was wrong was apparent and I learned that you soon will be gone

You have been my companion for ten of your sixteen long years
Through the joys and the laughter, the sadness and tears
And through them all, you were there with empathy and licks
As you were with my daughter, in your years one to six

And now, I sit here with heart heavy as lead
Dreading each day since the vet to me said
We are talking of days, or a week at the most
At that point, I knew that the battle was lost

At this moment, he says you have no pain or grief
But soon you will have and there will be no relief
And at that time, I will have a decision to make
And I know that, then, my heart will truly break

But, you have given me so many years of devotion and trust
And love and companionship, and I know that I must
Not let you suffer, lose dignity nor quality of life
And, I will not hesitate then to save you that pain and that strife

But yes, I dread that day, of course it is one that I fear
And each one that dawns brings it ever more near
So even now I weep and cannot stop one single tear
Cos of all friends I have, you are the most dear

And I am losing you, it is near time for you to go
Above all, when it happens, I want you to know
You go as my beloved, and have been loved thus all these years
I ask only one thing of you, to help allay my fears

When you get to Heaven, wait for me there
Lie on God’s lap, or on Jesus’ chair
And purr for them, just as you have aye purred for me
One day, I will join you, and what a day that will be

Once again running in woodland, chasing squirrel and bird
Rarely catching any, just enjoying the fun and grass sward
Lying in sunbeams, feeling the heat
On your tummy as you lie there at my feet.

Postscript 18.02.06
And now it has happened, you are gone from this world
No more on the sofa are you lying there, curled
In kitty repose, your purr filling my home
No more from my window will I watch you the wood roam

But through this first long empty night, you are here still
And through my great grief I can feel your peace my heart fill
As you tell me your pain and weakness at last are all gone
And that, at the end, the deed had to be done


Your Royal Greyness,Edgewood Reeves,
Prince of Cats,
God bless you and keep you safe in His care.
Go in peace and in love.
Requiescat in pace

We will love you and remember you forever,
Edith and Amelia


I SO WANTED YOU TO SEE THIS SPRING

I so wanted you to see this Spring
I prayed for it more than anything
To see you romp in sun for just one season more
To see catnip grow just beyond the kitchen door

And see you nibble at its first green shoots
For which you had waited while winter froze its roots.
Then, to watch when, having had enough, you leapt
In catnip frenzy, bouncing, twisting joy – except -

My last dream for you was not to be
Cold winter remained the day I set you free.
That morn you woke and could not drink or eat,
Staggered and fell on old and failing feet

And our eyes met, yours said twas not to be,
They cried, “enough, my time has come, this Spring is not for me,
As this winter dies, so also death comes to me
In pain and in distress, this surely you can see”

And so, my precious and most loving friend
Our years sixteen together I knew must end
You may have lived to see the dawn of that last bright Spring
In pain and fear and hopelessness, ah, that’s the thing

It was in my hands to spare you that
I had that power and searched my breaking heart
For healing and for hope, but, knowing that we had to part
Chose I the last gift of love I knew would bring me grief’s dart.

I promised you no pain, indignity, distress
But that did not make the action hurt any the less
Above all else, I ask of you just one more thing –
Forgive me, Reeves, for denying you this Spring.

31.3.06



SIX MONTHS

I yet feel the sorrow, know the pain of void of six months’ lasting
And know full well that naught can bring him back withstanding –
Not tears, not grief unbound
And not my helpless fasting

But, my beloved Edgewood Reeves, as I admit to myself of what I miss,
My deep sorrow would this ease if only I could give you one more kiss
But I must learn what you would want through all my mourning strife
“Grieve not my humans for my passing – do not”
“But celebrate that I lived and that you shared my life”.

And we do


Edith and Amelia Jane
18.8.06

(((Edith)))

your beautiful poems brought back to me my feelings of loss and yet tender memories for my own departed kittys

My heart goes out to you as you adjust to life without your precious Reeves.
thank you so much for sharing these verses with us

Cheri

AAWWW, I'm so sorry.

I had to 'put down' 4 elderly cats in the two-year period around the time that my ex-husband (my son's Father) passed.

Fluffy was one week before his 22nd birthday when we made that trip to the vet. I had been living with him from the time he was 5 weeks old. I got him from the Animal Shelter in Boston. He was so young, I had to use a doll baby bottle for a couple of weeks until he learned how to use a dish.

It's been 10 years now. I still think about him and miss him (and the others too).

I figure that people that agree to "be owned" by a dog or a cat take on a very special relationship. It's a care-taker relationship, but, it provides an unbelievable amount of love back to us.

I think on what kind of lives these animals would have had if we hadn't taken them into our hearts and into our lives.

I know you miss Reeves terribly. But, you gave him the BEST LIFE and you gave the best gift when it was just too hard for him to continue living. You'll be blessed for that. One day that "knowing that you did the best you could" will bring comfort to your soul too.

Hugs.

Barb

(((HUGS))) What beautiful memories you have shared with us, thank you

Oh Edgie...he was so loved for so long..brought so much joy to you dear lady.
What a treasure to have shared. (((Edgie)))

I'm so sorry Edgie ... that's so difficult to accept

{{{edith}}}
I have 3 cats that i love with all my heart!!!
I can hardly see to type!!
Beautifull writing here ,even though i know the content is sad!
{{{big hugs}}}
I'm so sorry .....

losing your companion
 

what a beautiful tribute to a wonderful friend. it brought tears to my eyes......i am facing the "goodbye" to Amsu, my dear friend of 17 years, as he is slowly aging. his quality of life now is fine but i, as you, watch him like a hawk so that i will not keep him too long. he is 19 years young, as he was in a shelter for two years before my life was transformed with his moving into my home. we've been best friends and i will honor that at the end.

thank you for writing such a beautiful piece. pat