Snoring...
 

A couple has a dog that snores.

Annoyed because she can't sleep, his wife goes to
the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the
dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring. 'Yeah right!' she says

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins
snoring, as usual.

The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.

Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and
grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully
around the dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.

The woman is amazed...

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk
from being out drinking with his buddies.

He climbs into bed, falls asleep and immediately
begins snoring loudly.
The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on
him.

So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of
blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's
testicles.
Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly.

The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and
stumbles into the bathroom.

As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in
the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his
privates.

He is very confused, and as he walks back into the
bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his
dog's testicles.

He shakes his head and looks at the dog and
whispers, ‘I don't know where we were or what we
did ... but, by God we took FIRST and SECOND place!’