Are we a country of complainers?
 

Hi Everyone, I have been getting many emails that complain about many situations like immigrants and politics. I have always been a very optimistic person and whenever I enter a situation I look for the positives and things that I have in common with others. When I do this I overlook the negatives and differences that I have with people. I think that this outlook works for so many reasons. There is no hate in it and it brings people together. It is such a better way to live then to be negative and divisive with others. If you approach someone or a group and work from the positives it just makes everything so much better. When a person works from the positives the negatives disappear. One example of this is with children. Focus on their negatives and you get a terrible outcome. Focus on the positives and the world comes alive. Does anyone understand what I am saying here? Feel free to question any of my assumptions. I love to examine a topic in detail and will not take any offense!

Hi Sannah! Hard to find anything to disagree with in your statement. Great to have you here at NeuroTalk. Welcome! :)

It's an interesting topic, Sannah. I don't think that this preeminent need to gripe is unique to the U.S. population, though we Americans do have an inflated sense of entitlement.

When I get those kinds of emails, I look to see if the sender is just pushing it along, or if he/she is actually doing something about the problem/issue. To me, if one wants to complain about something, he/she should also plan to do something about it.

Communication is a mighty tool and, in my opinion, underused and misunderstood by too many people. When we want change, it is in our power to foster that change. If we choose to "ignore it so it will go away", or merely complain about it, we are doing nothing to improve the situation. So, I say, shut up and do something proactive, or keep your emails to yourself!

Hi Guys! We sound like-minded! Where do these negative people hang out! I would like to affect them. These emails are always the forwarded ones. I usually write a rebuttal and send it back. You are right AMN, I am sure that it is not just the US population but the US population is my concern at this time (the elections really bring this stuff out). I am really impressed how Obama keeps his campaign positive. I hope he can keep it up. AMN, I am originally from Michigan. I grew up between Traverse City and Grand Rapids. Now I live outside of Louisville.

Sannah,

The negative folks generally have never really seen anyone in a real rock-bottom situation (i.e. a refugee camp). That would enlighten them and change their entitlement-ridden behavior.

Maybe Obama can increase incentives for peeple to joing the Peace Corps or learn a little discipline by joining the armed forces (like the Corps! - slight bias here;)).

Most folks have never really seen what it is like to be "down and out". It would open their eyes to what they really DO have.

-Vic

could it seem like this country is more of a complaining country because we have freedom of speech, and are allowed to express our views regardless if I you or others agree or disagree, just a diff approach to it,

as for the emails I can relate. lately i have had a lot of really negative ones not speaking their mind types but more hatred of a certain group of persons, which is a shame, i feel sorry for those type of folks

I try my hardest not to complain - and have little patience for people who are negative and constantly complaining about every little thing. I think it's just a mindset they have become accustomed to and it's hard to break out of.

Thanks for the insightful responses! Victor, I totally agree with you! Maybe this is why I see things this way. I grew up in a poor, uneducated and dysfunctional family and I am none of those things today due to info, hard work, and help from others.

5 kids, I love freedom of speech and think that it is especially great when people stick to the issues. I can actually have a political discussion and not get upset because I strongly believe that we each have a right to our own opinions. I don't come from a position that I have all the answers. I think that what causes a lot of problems is that many folks have a set mind set that you cannot mess with. Their mind set is the truth and to mess with it is a threat. I actually hold a combination of liberal and conservative positions.

Your second thought hit the nail on the head. This is exactly the emails that I am talking about. I think this kind of stuff is actually a political ploy to divide and conquor so that we don't really address the issues that are important to most of us. If we are all down in the pit fighting with each other, certain groups can do what they want with our tax dollars and policies. This is one reason why I feel so strongly about Obama. He wants to end this stuff so that we can focus on the real issues.

Hi Kitty, I don't think that complaining is always bad. You cannot solve a problem unless it is identified so addressing a problem is sort of like complaining but it is different because the main focus is to try to solve it not to just complain.

immigrants complain too

the legal ones go through many hoops and maybe pay money to get to usa and the illegals get to do it for less or free

usa is one third the population of china now, and life gets crasser and crasser

this is why im not a liberal anymore
i used to be more liberal i suppose

and yes years ago i heard on a radio show ,someone from eastern Europe i think said in usa people complain about everything

do you know that congress is ripping us off?

social security was supposed to increase at a set level but they are only paying like half of what it should be while illegals demand welfare and stuff

I agree PolarExpress......for me it all comes down to constructive vs destructive criticism or "complaining"

I am a (LEGAL:rolleyes:) immigrant and have lived in the US for almost 20 years.
It has always amazed me that a country so abounding in resources and, yes, privilege, has so many who seem obsessed with "petty problems" to complain about here at home, and abroad.
this country used to be known for its optimism and "let's do it!" attitude..... not the negative, pass the blame game that seems to have become the focus for some.
IMHO time to just try to fix what is broke and stop all the finger pointing!!

and as for those emails, I dont even read past the subject or first line anymore before they hit my delete box:mad:

I don't understand all the complaining about immigrants???? Manufactured problems.... I think getting us all to focus on the small stuff is a ploy to distract us from the important stuff. This "ploy" is orchestrated by those in power who want things for themselves and their friends and not for all of us. If they can divide and conquor this will keep us busy while they run the government in their favor and not ours.

transactional analysis...
 

This thread reminds me of this interpersonal theory.

It was popular in the 60's and 70's and I found it very interesting then.

The "complaining" is a form of Ain't it Awful, and when applied to cars, the game is called GM.

This Wiki entry explains it pretty well, but does not do so completely (not all "games" are listed).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

People need strokes, people need to have someone to listen to them, and when that becomes difficult or impossible, as in the political arena, there are not many avenues left to vent anxiety and fear, but complaining.

Sometimes I think people need "validation" as much as food. Validation is food for the mind/soul.

You know where I used to work, there was a colleague with severe issues. He was having anger tantrums on the job and affecting everyone. He'd lash out at people for some internal reason. There were times he scared me hugely.
He had to be pulled off a couple of other male colleagues too. Well, I seemed to be immune to this. But I watched it with horror, since management did NOTHING (even with complaints). In a medical professional environment, this is just unacceptable. Then one night about 2 yrs ago, this troubled guy attacked me. Over the years working with him, I looked younger than I really am, but now I am really gray, and I guess I look like his mother--where much of the anger comes from. As soon as I grayed up, that is when he started on me too.
One night I thought he would strangle me...I was terrified. All I did was walk past him on my way to MY area...and he was upset about something else, and turned it on me. Terrifying and surprising.

I quit the next day...because I knew that it was a matter of time that someone would be seriously hurt and it certainly would not be ME. I began to think this guy was a candidate for going "postal". I felt he had medical reasons for his outbursts, and I won't go into that long story. But I left. When I returned from my summer vacation, they were calling me back. This person was "let go" finally, and would I return. And I did. A year later, we found out this guy had died (he was only 47) and I know it was because he had medical reasons. (he had a doctor phobia and would not seek help until it was too late--cardiac).

We all complained at one time or another out of his presence about him and why nothing was done about it. We had to vent that fear and anxiety and disappointment over a situation totally out of control! The others there were not about to leave the job over it....but I certainly was!

LOL, Cheri, case in point, bottled water! We have the best water in the entire world, but it's just not "good enough"!:rolleyes:

The LEGAL immigrants are the cornerstone of this nation's greatness! The ILLEGAL immigrants are a decimation of our nation's purpose. That said, I am actively involved in forging legislation that will settle that issue.

Hi AMN, help me understand then because illegal immigrants really do not affect my life and I really don't understand. Please explain to me how they really affect your day to day life. I can think of so many other problems that do affect my day to day life. I am not being a stinker here. I really want to understand.

My husband told me that he heard on NPR that a farmer wasn't going to plant a field of tomatoes because he couldn't guarantee that he would have the labor to pick them and he couldn't gamble with the investment. The labor was not guaranteed because of some new laws on immigration. This issue can affect our food supply!

MRSD, I also believe that when people are overly complaining about bigger issues it is because they have internal or personal issues that they just cannot deal with successfully. This anger and frustration spills over into issues where they can vent this stuff.

hmmmmm AMN ....I am not to sure I would agree it to be "best water in the world", and I sure wouldnt drink what comes out of my faucet:eek:

we had our water here analyzed and were so shocked at the results that we immediately got a reverse osmosis unit for drinking/cooking and filters for the showers etc.The good pure water just aint so good and pure anymore (no amount of contaminant is "within acceptable range" IMHO:rolleyes:), but.....:D rather than just complain about it;) or make the bottled water companies richer, we shopped around and found a portable RO unit for under $200

I believe it Chemar... Florida is sooooo polluted and your fresh water lake,
may be GONE in 10 yrs!

Where we are in the city...we still have good water. But up North we are forced to get it out of Lake Huron. The freighters are dumping ballast and other obnoxious waste and our whole Northern shore is now fairly unsafe.
I've been double filtering it for over 20 yrs now. And getting laughed at by the cousins. But I see in the last 5 yrs they are now filtering too!
With no electricity manual filtering is a challenge and time consumer!
I take some bottled up there, but it doesn't last long. We boil water too,
but that consumes the propane which 150 dollars a tank! No easy way!
(we use PUR filters)

BTW the water main repairs we have been having...are a nightmare too. Last week when they finally dug ours up...red sludge
came out when it was opened. We had to run all our faucets and toilets for a LONG time and we are still running them a LONG time.
One toilet plugged up the tank mechanism, and it wouldn't stop running.... and my husband had to fix it. And it is NOT over YET!

Wow!! Mrs. D.

Too bad no one suggested anger management courses for this man. Might have helped him.

How sad that he was so frustrated and had such deep-rooted anger for whomever he was angry at, that he thought it acceptable to take it out on others.

I've been a victim of that kind of mentality. I was lucky, I escaped. But I vowed, never again.

Oh, once, when I was 18, I had a job as a typist. There was a maintenance man who thought I was his private property. Now I was 18, didn't know a fig about men and their thoughts, and whatever. I did know that when a man looked at me in a certain way and it made me uncomfortable, that I had the right to "say no".

I kept saying "no". He kept NOT HEARING ME!!!I can even remember his name to this day. JARED!!! My god, this was 42 years ago, and I remember.

He got me up against the wall by the elevator (no one was around), and he put his face up to my face and said "Why won't you go out with me?", what's wrong with me, do you think you are too good for me?"

I had never been exposed to this type of MEN behavior before and I was clueless.

So I just said "oh no, it's not you, it's me, I just have problems". Can you believe I said this??"

I also reported him to management and he was fired the next day.

THANK GOD!!!!!

I have, in my lifetime, (with a boyfriend),WAY BEFORE ALAN, have been the victim of abuse.

I vowed never again.

And it never happened again.

I think (because of some deep rooted memory I have that I promised myself it would never happen again), that if some man ever put his hands on me, that would be the last day he had hands.

But that's just me.

Thank god for therapy. That's all I can say.

Okay, well, I live in a fruit belt and we are hosts to thousands of illegal immigrants (currently estimated at near 150k) who at one time came to work as farm labor and stayed. I am quite disabled and depend on certain public funding for my healthcare. In MI, that state funding is being drained by medical, food and shelter needs of non-citizens of the nation into which I had paid rather significant taxes for many years.

Let me qualify this with the fact that I am very aware that legal citizens are also draining these same resources.

These folks almost all work, but at jobs that pay "under the table", therefore, not giving anything back to the system. Every fall, roughly 800 new, illegal immigrant children enter our school systems, enjoy the resources until their parents move them on to a warmer climate.

60% of them will never graduate high school. 31% of MI's illegal aliens will be arrested for some type of crime this year, draining those resources and giving nothing back. 12% will drive uninsured vehicles that end up in collisions, again draining resources provided by tax-paying citizens of this nation. 70% will visit food banks 2 or more times between Sept. and Nov. It's really too much to type here, but a little googling will get you details by state, county, etc.

I agree that their work is needed, I understand that many Americans would refuse the work they do, and I do have compassion for the children of transient parents.

I also believe in law, and they are breaking it every day. Further, it is not adequately enforced. So, I am involved in trying to fix this situation.

I know that you're in a brackish, polluted region, Cheri, but the nation as a whole is my point. Water right here in MI is excellent and abundant and I cannot tell you how many times a day I see someone toting a bottle of packaged water. I.E. Dasani is Detroit city water.

illegal immigrants CANNOT RECEIVE WELFARE because that takes a social security card and illegal immigrants do not want to risk being discovered.

other than wanting to deport criminals, I really do not have a problem with the Mexicans that live in our community.

I have girls come to clean my house, they do not speak English. I have never asked for their "papers." They are good women, honest and I trust them. They have cleaned my house for 3 years.

Other than criminals, whether legal or illegal, I am must more concerned with so many more issues.

Is there a difference between complaining and pointing out what is wrong?

I remember watching a psychologist talking about child rearing. He said to repeat what the child is saying. Ever notice how a child will repeat the same sentence over and over wanting to be heard? I wondered if that would work.

Sometimes a complainer just wants to be heard.

Politically, I am so ready to be heard and I am so ready for solutions. I would love to have Obama in office for 8 years.

It will be rough going at first, our country is in disarray. I am not sure much will be accomplished at first.

Congress is such a quagmire.:( It disturbs me that Republican representatives are filibustering on the key issues so that politically the Senate and House of Representatives with a Democratic "majority" can be labeled as a "do-nothing" legislature.

Just look at what happened with the bipartisan amendment Jim Webb tried to create. He had it going but GWB and McCain got into it and the Republican minority backed out. I feel sad for the troops, this is not support. But rhetoric will rule the day.:mad: "Democrats are weak on Iraq issues, they just want to cut and run."

Not true but it has been a propaganda statement we "hear" and some of the US believe.

So little of what is really happening in government is heard by us in the public.

So negative campaigning works because so few take the time to go to .org's. Many on the internet choose .com's and think if it is on a computer, it must be true.:(

Oh... don't get me started!:rolleyes: I appear to be complaining on a political vent.:rolleyes:

I find this website very interesting:
 

http://www.jsri.msu.edu/whatsnew/legitimacy/

This article is very good at revealing the humanity concerning this issue.

And this:

Hi AMN, I live in Kentucky. Our horse industry couldn't survive without immigrant labor. I have talked to people who own horse boarding businesses etc. They have said that they couldn't have their business without them. I think that a lot of businesses say the same thing. I have never heard anyone complain here about immigrants. Here they don't drain anything. Many people here say that if you want anything done right hire a Mexican. They can put a roof on your house in record time. Maybe if all of their positive and negative contributions were put on a spread sheet they would even out? I actually think that their contributions would lean to the positive side.

I just want to reiterate that I believe in legal immigration and I don't care about the nationality of immigrants. I am trying to contribute in the work toward making it easier to earn citizenship and enforcing the laws of the constitution.

I do believe that it is a responsibility for anyone who wants to live here.

Hi! I support Obama for the same reasons. I also believe that the only way that his visions can become reality is if we all stay involved to make them work. This idea that we elect leaders and send them to Washington and then hope everything works out gives us the government that we have today. We have to be involved at all levels working together to make things better. The working together is the biggest point.

Can't argue with that!

What concerns me is people getting all upset about heresay that they don't even experience and which might not even be true. This info is passed around to just get people distracted and busy with things so that the important issues are left to those in power. I love it when the whole issue is looked at carefully and real solutions are put in place not just "political bandaides" which actually make things worse or don't even really deal with the issues in there complexity.

I agree, legality is much better.

We, as a nation, have to keep reminding ourselves that our constitution is an ever-evolving, malleable set of guidelines for abundant life. It applies to all within our borders.

At the very least there needs to be a way of documenting these illegals.
We have to have some sort of official record and identification of people in the country.

I don't know if when they get caught at the border or elsewhere?
If they get finger printed & photographed before returned to their country?
In case they return again?

Who knows the best answer- it is such a complex problem.
Maybe Canada, USA & Mexico show all join together as one nation LOL

A complex problem that can have better solutions if it was just addressed honestly. Politicians do not want to tell the real truth because it could lose themselves votes with one group or another. I am seeing Obama telling the truth and not just what people want to hear, like with the gas tax issue. This issue is not global warming or energy policy. It is simply getting enough needed workers into this country. Workers that cannot be found among our native population. Sounds pretty simple to me. If the illegals didn't have jobs waiting for them when they got here they wouldn't be trying to sneak into the borders. It is like osmosis.

I didn't realize that it was malleable or ever-evolving?

Absolutely, it's how we are able to make amendments to the constitution.

Oh...
 

I don't think the Constitution is "malleable" at all. In theory yes, but getting
an amendment to it requires high % of passing both houses, and 2/3 ratifying
by the states. (I think, either this or something close to it).

Remember, gals we failed equal rights-- we ain't equal YET!

Yeah, how often are there amendments? There are only 27 of them. The last one was 16 years ago and the one before that was 37 years ago.

Is this a thread to talk about complainers or a thread where we can complain? :D If the latter, I have a complaint about "illegal" Mexican immigration.

I think it's wrong to blame them for coming here because we boast too much about the opportunities and freedom in this country. I refuse to blame poor people for wanting to find work and food for their children. I blame those who hire them. If the jobs weren't here for them, people wouldn't be risking their lives to come here.

Let's just call it what it is.....slave labor. Why should SLAVES be arrested for doing the work we hire them to perform? :eek:

My sister in TX has a friend who is a veterinarian. There is a section in town where you can drive by and pick up Mexican laborers for the day - a large majority of them "illegal." She uses these people to do all her yard work.

If she can afford to own a second home in Costa Rica, she can afford to hire professional landscapers to care for her lawn in Texas. If she can't afford to maintain her lawn in TX, she shouldn't own a home in Costa Rica. She's not hiring these immigrants to give them the "American Dream" she's hiring them because she's too cheap to pay the standard price in this country. :rolleyes:

What bothers me most about making this a political issue is the way people act toward Mexicans and people of Hispanic descent. It has caused people to be resentful and suspicious of all of them. :(

But, it IS amendable. When an issue rises to that certain extent, action can be taken and it's my opinion that immigration laws beyond the original state level are coming very close to requiring more consideration than ever before.

Take a look at the immigration act of 1990:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/usc-cgi/g...target=101-649

Despite the 9th and 10th amendments to the constitution, it shows that over time, the powers of the states have been inching closer and closer to relinquishing immigration to a level of federal sovereignty.

So, then look at the 14th amendment which was ratified in 1868 to protect the rights of native-born Black Americans, whose rights were being denied as recently-freed slaves. By 1965, it began to be interpreted as the passage of inalienable rights to children born to illegal immigrants in the U.S.
http://www.usconstitution.net/xconst_Am14.html

My feeling is that it may be time to revisit constitutional considerations for the enormous numbers of immigrants this nation is hosting. What do you think?

we all know some get worker cards to legally work in usa =so what

we all know we are all "imigrants" except for the american indians

google "crime victims of illegal aliens"
most people are sick of it

i voted for romney because of this and he won the straw poll

the problem is some think they have two countries to live in and they do, but not us and if theyre crimnals they have the politcal thing that is known as "mexico" to go back to and they dont extradite

sure maybe most the people there may be ok or as good as usa people

so i wonder if lupe complains in spanish too

lol

And, happily, there are indeed a growing number of furious Hispanics who devote hours on end to fighting illegal immigration. Among them are

Lupe Moreno, Chair, Orange County Republican National Hispanic Assembly and her sister Angie Morfin, Chair, Monterey County Republican Hispanic Assembly.

http://www.vdare.com/guzzardi/patriotic_hispanics.htm

Hmmm? Congress`es approval rating? The President`s approval rating? The economy? There is a lot to gripe about? People should be able to discuss the problems with out malice or anger.

Immigration? jobs are leaving this country at record rates, the USA lets more legal immigrants into this country than the rest of the world combined. Exactly what purpose does this serve other than to drive down wages for those already here? Then factor in the illegal immigration.

A fuel crisis, energy in general, gasoline, heating bills, electricity. Create more of a demand thru immigration? Logic dictates a stop sign. Let more people on the boat to row when it is sinking?:confused:

some illegals are given home loans more freely are given instate tuition's for college some get 2 welfare checks but i doubt that

pile into public housing and break rules and Americans are held to the rules but they are not

in Scotland a muslim was let off for speeding because he driving between 2 wives


that is why liberals are stupid they give special rights

some think its just dandy

http://media.nationalreview.com/post...ZlOWI1ZDY5YjA=