Things that Hallmark cards don't say
 

Just a joke, no offense meant to anyone. :)

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

:rolleyes:
My tire was
thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

:rolleyes:
Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.. She moved in with me.

:rolleyes:
Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
'What the hell was I thinking?'

:rolleyes:
Congratulations
on your wedding day!
Too bad no one
likes your husband.

:rolleyes:
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love
After having met you .. I've changed my mind.

:rolleyes:
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

:rolleyes:
Congratulations on your promotion
Before you go...
Would you like to take th is knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

:rolleyes:
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia)

:rolleyes:
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

:rolleyes:
We have been friends for a very long time .
let's say we stop?

:rolleyes:
I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here.

:rolleyes:
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

LOLOL!!! Hilarious! :hug:

can i order a boxed set of these? :D

Lol!!!

And another one I haven't been able to find:


No more twitching with the itching or

Squirming with the burning!

Congratulations on your hemorrhoidectomy! :D

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

-------------------------------------------

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

LOL! Great additions!

Could you imagine if Hallmark had put cards out like that?