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-   -   Practical Help for cars please!! (https://www.neurotalk.org/parents-with-bipolar-children/45340-practical-help-cars-please.html)

emmaholtzapple 05-09-2008 04:19 PM

Practical Help for cars please!!
 
Hi,

I'm new here and new to bipolar. My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed this week and we're still learning.
She scared us today by trying to jump out of the car while having an anger fit. When that didn't work, she tried to climb into the front seat to "scratch my eyes out".
Now, an hour later, we're home and she's calm.
We had two advantages today - one, we were in our minivan where I can just override her from the front and two, most important, my husband was with us. Usually though I'm on my own with her and her little brother.
Does anyone have any practical help for me? I'm supposed to take her downtown in two hours and I'm afraid. If I don't, she misses out on something really important to her. If I do, it'll be dangerous, maybe.

Help!
Thanks, Emma.

Twinkletoes 05-09-2008 06:15 PM

Welcome to the Board, Emma.

Will your daughter be sufficiently distracted by a new toy or video?

Sorry I didn't see this sooner. Hope you were able to navigate home safely.

You may not feel like it, but you are a hero. :hug:

SandyC 05-09-2008 06:21 PM

Welcome to the board Emma. I am sorry you are facing this today. When you put your daughter in the seat I am assuming she doesn't keep the seat belt on correct? The only thing I can think of is having child safety locks put in the back first or simply take off the handles. Second you may want to place some form of a barrier between the front and back seat so she cannot get to you while your driving until this is worked out? Third, check with the car company to see if there is some form of safety belt locks you can invest in so she can't get out of the seat?

Whatever you decide and figure out, hang in there. Do they have her on medication or behavior modification therapies? You said your new the diagnosis so maybe, if she's on meds, they haven't had a chance to get into her system yet.

I will say a little prayer for your child and for you and your husband. God bless you as parents. The love you have shines through your words. :hug:

mrsD 05-09-2008 06:32 PM

suggestion...
 
Any time your child misbehaves dangerously, in the car...

YOU PULL OVER and refuse to continue.

When he/she goes back to her/his seat...and you buckle him/her in...
and all is normal...you continue.

Any verbal attempt to stop the misbehavior will likely fail.
Stop the car. And show her you will not tolerate this.

This is called logical consequences...and if you Google that term, you will
find it is an older technique, but very useful. You don't need an accident in the car by any means.

michael178 05-09-2008 06:36 PM

great advise mrs d. but you have always been one of the very wise ones

Jo*mar 05-09-2008 08:38 PM

There has to be special seat belt just for this scenario.

Does any one know of a special needs child restraints website?

maybe some of these will have something-
Special Needs
www.TheMorganProject.org Do you have child w/ special needs? Get support, grants, free equipment

AAP Children's Health Topics: CAR SAFETY SEATS AND TRANSPORTATION ...
My child has special health care needs. What is the safest way for him to ride in ... Child Care, Child Neglect, Child Restraints, Child with Special Needs ...
www.aap.org/healthtopics/carseatsafety.cfm - 39k - Cached - Similar pages

Safe Kids USA: Preventing accidental injury. Special Needs
The child restraint system should meet FMVSS 213. Standard child restraint devices may be used for many children with special health care needs, and, ...
www.usa.safekids.org/tier2_rl.cfm?folder_id=2020 - 42k - Cached - Similar pages

Medical Library Search
Remember that some children with special needs are able to use standard child restraints such as infant-only seats, convertible seats, forward-facing ...
http://www.medem.com/.../article_dis..._typ=NAV_SERCH - 14k - Cached - Similar pages

Automotive Safety Program
Children with Special Health Care Needs. Conventional Restraints. For purposes of this section, conventional restraints are defined as child safety ...
www.preventinjury.org/SNTrestraints.asp - 136k - Cached - Similar pages
more
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&c...nt&btnG=Search

emmaholtzapple 05-10-2008 09:47 AM

Thank you all so much for responding. She's not on any serious meds yet and won't be for the next 3 months - we'll be travelling and the doc is wary of trying new stuff while we're away.
First - the video usually works but didn't yesterday. During an anger fit, all reason is (seems) gone. Can't do anything logical.
Second - yes, there's no way she can actually jump since all the override buttons are on so I'm not worried about that.
Third - Stopping the car is logical and right and we did but in the future I'm worried since we live in the desert and we can't sit in a car for longer than ten minutes without the engine and her fits usually last an hour. Also, her little brother - excuse me while I burst into tears - I'm scared for her little brother.

This situation might never arise again but if it does, I need a plan. I'm driving them today - if it happens, I might have to call 911. Jo - thanks for all those links, I'll look into them. If I had a safety lock, that might work. Or a barrier to keep her in the back row away from her brother and me. Or I could do as I did yesterday and require that my husband come with us everywhere we go ... not!

Sorry this is such a long post.

SandyC 05-10-2008 11:00 AM

I know they have barriers for animals but I am not sure if that is a legal issue. Gosh, I wish there was something we could come up with to help. Cry it out, I know your worried and scared. Hopefully she'll get on meds or you'll find some new therapy that will help her. In the meantime, let's all pray that you will not have to experience this again.

mojack57 07-02-2008 03:44 PM

Bipolar Children And Cars
 
Hi Emma,
My daughter is 18 years old now and doing amazingly well AS LONG AS SHE TAKES HER LITHIUM. She started exhibiting signs of BIPOLAR with titanic size fits when she was 13 months old. It took several years to diagnose her 12 to 17 years ago. During the interim period we sought the advice and counseled with many different health providers: pediatrician, allergist, psychiatrist, family practioner, psychologist, a doctor of acupuncture, a chiropracter trained in kiniseology. We tried everything. One of our biggest problems with Vicky was that she hated to go anywhere. She too tried to jump out of the moving car and would attack me or whoever was in the front seat. Part of it was that she simply preferred to stay home. We figured out later that it was a combiniation of the anxiety that she experienced about leaving the house and the fact that she would get car sick., and extreme sensitivity to smells and fumes. Riding in the car exposed her to all of these issues: agoraphobia (not wanting to be in a closed space or a crowd) motion sickness and the ill affects of exhaust fumes and "car smells." We had the help of a behaviorist who came into the home to help us set up things to make life easier for her, and subsequently for the rest of us. One of the things he rcommended regarding car trips was preparing her for the trip - even if it was a quick trip to the store - giving her a predictable routine to prepare for the trip. One of her greatest problems, still, is dealing with unplanned experiences. She still gets extremely anxious. So, preparing her for car rided helped to a degree. Having a harness for her also helped. He gave us many other helpful suggestions as well. We highly recommend getting a behavioral specialist to help you work out these types of issues. Vicky tried to jump off of a 4 story balcony when she was 7 (fight or flight - she didn't realize she'd be killed doing so) she tried to jump out of a moving car - on the interstate - several times that year, she hit the window in her bedroom during another fit at the house and had to have stitches for the cut on her wrist.... After those episodes, and after having tried different medications to try to stabilize her moods and behavior we finally tried a course of lithium. It was amazingly successful for her then, and continues to be. The problem we're still dealing with is one that's very common to bipolar sufferers. She hates taking the medicine. Probably because it "drags her down" and she actually enjoys the high that she's on when she doesn't take it. What happens though, when she doesn't, is that she engages in very seriuosly risk taking behavior: running up charges on credit cards, unprotected sex, etc. We are still working with her to keep her on her medicine. She's an adult and we've explained that she's at a point where she has to take responsibility for taking her medicine or suffering the consequences for not taking it: she could end up in jail, homeless, in an institution, or seriously ill with a sexually transmitted disease. One book we would highly recommend that we believe, in conjunction with other angelic happenings, saved Vicky's life. It is by Doris Rapp, MD, Pediatric Allergist "IS THIS YOUR CHILD."
Best wishes to you and your family as you learn to live with this diagnosis for your daughter. I know it's not the life you thought it would be to raise your daughter with this illness. However, by continuing your quest to seek information and answers - you'll be blessed.

Quote:

I'm new here and new to bipolar. My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed this week and we're still learning.
She scared us to day by trying to jump out of the car while having an anger fit. When that didn't work, she tried to climb into the front seat to "scratch my eyes out".
Now, an hour later, we're home and she's calm.
We had two advantages today - one, we were in our minivan where I can just override her from the front and two, most important, my husband was with us. Usually though I'm on my own with her and her little brother.
Does anyone have any practical help for me? I'm supposed to take her downtown in two hours and I'm afraid. If I don't, she misses out on something really important to her. If I do, it'll be dangerous, maybe.

Help!
Thanks, Emma.

beandawgs 12-09-2010 01:05 AM

seat belt lock
 
I found this site which has a "seat belt lock" which is a plastic case you can put around the seat belt buckle its ***

I have had this same problem with my 6 year old bipolar child. His moods have been better on lithium but he has been known in the past to unclip his seat belt, and his brother's also hitting me while I am driving. I know the fear. I hope your child can get some medicine which will help.


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