Making good on a promise
 

Hi ya all. I just have a question that I thought maybe I could get your opinion. I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer but lets see how this goes.


You make a promise to someone or someones and things go a little haywire and that promise is broken, What do you do?

Do ya say Whooops better luck next time and forget about it or do you try to make good out of something bad. It may not be the same thing but you try hard to make it right.

I sometimes think people just don't have a conscience. What do you guys think

i guess it would depend on the severity of the infraction but if I broke a promise to someone, I would go to the ends of heaven and hell to try to make it up to them.

It seems to me that when someone takes on a responsibility to others it is up to them to see it through. There are those who will make one attempt at keeping that promise then walk away whether the job is done or not.

I was taught from an early age that if I commit to doing something, it is my personal responsibility to complete it no matter how difficult or time consuming the task. In my house, you make the mess, you clean it up right away.

Excuses are trash. Take responsibility like an adult.

A promise is a promise~ Unless there are circumstances where the person absolutely could not fullfill the promise. *health, $$$, fallout w/person promise was made to etc*

It just really aggravates me When you put your trust in someone who has made a commitment to do something and they don't fulfill that promise. I would do whatever it took to make things right. It may not be exactly what was planned but it certainly would come as close as I could get it.

You do everything in your power to make good on that promise.

My dear, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I had a 46 year friendship go south because of a broken promise.

Things happen. Sometimes promises can't be kept. This is just human nature. But when that happens, THAT'S WHEN YOU FIND OUT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PERSON WHO PROMISED YOU SOMETHING.

When something happens and the promise cannot be kept, the person who made the promise should come over to you, express regret (most sincerely), and say "how can I make this up to you, I don't want to ruin a friendship".

See, this is WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN MY CASE. It didn't. I found out the friendship was not worth anything. That my feelings did not matter. I've come to terms with it.

It wasn't that she broke the promise. I can understand that sometimes things happen and one can't fulfill what was promised.

In my case, all she had to do was show up the next day on my doorstep with a batch of cookies (she was a baker). All she had to do was say "Melody, I am so sorry, I had to do what I did, I know I didn't keep my word, and I don't want this to be the end of our 46 year friendship".

She never did that.

So if someone made you a promise, and did not keep it (or could not keep it), it is most definitely up to that person to do the right thing. And the right thing is not to shrug it off and think "oh well, another time, this really wasn't so important".

Of course it was important. It was important TO YOU!!!!

Promises are important. When broken, they hurt. It's up to the other person to make it right.

This is only common sense. It was the way I was raised.

I hope whoever made that promise to you, if she didn't keep it, or couldn't keep it, that she acknowledges YOUR feelings.

Good Luck.

Melody

If a commitment was made to do something then it should be followed through. If there are extraordinary circumstances, like a death, or lack of funds, or something, then I would be willing to accept an apology for the unfinished project.

I would also expect the person to come to me with a reasonable explanation of why they were not able to keep their promise. It's much easier to come clean with the truth than it is to weave a bunch of lies or avoid the person to whom you've made the promise. It does no one any good and who wants to be around those kind of people who can't be trusted to keep their promises! :(

As AMN said, you made the mess, you clean it up! Good advice! ;)

I am sorry you got hurt Beth. That's just wrong!

I have not read through all the responses word for word but the consensus seems to run that the least one can do is make an apology.

The word I pick out of your thread is that things went a little haywire. Something went wrong.

sometimes, just that little bit of failure can cause a lot of pain. You sound hurt.

I was once hurt by a dear friend, a friendship I really treasured. We lost touch but I missed her. I googled her name after 10 years, was able to reconnect.

She had a rare stomach cancer that almost killed her a few years ago. She could have died and I would have lost the wonderful opportunity to be a part of her life again.

Life is full of broken promises. Maybe it ruined an event, a birthday or an anniversary party.

Examine your hurt. If this is truly someone you care about and I think that the level of your pain implies that, perhaps it is really hard for this person to apologize.

Maybe it meant more to you than it did to him/her.

I lost touch with a friend because I wanted something from her that she did not give to me. But if I had not been able to renew my friendship, the real hurt and the real loss would have been mine.

Maybe he/she cannot be who you want him/her to be. Maybe you have to love a person for who they are, complete with flakiness and failure.

i would talk to that person and try to make amends, but thats how i was raised, your word is golden,