Upset on the 4th of July....
 

Does anyone else out there have problems on the 4th of July?

I was deployed to Baghdad and was slightly injured by a terrorist explosion.(Ear injury and mTBI). We were rocketed quite frequently in the Green Zone where I was stationed.

I returned a month ago and thought I was doing OK. Now I'm not so sure.

Today I was at a community party and some kids started setting off fireworks. In fact, one of them thought it would be pretty cool to throw some in my direction.

I've been a little jumpy at loud noises, but nothing like this. I was startled when it happened initially, but after a few minutes I was shaken. I excused myself and went inside where I began to feel fear like never before. I started shaking and my eyes actually welled up with tears.

Right now, folks are setting off fireworks outside and I'm very uncomfortable. The hair on my arm is standing up...I feel a bit scared.

I've never had feeling like this before. I thougt I was doing OK since I've been back..but now I'm not sure. Luckily, I've only had two nightmares in the last month (both are flashbacks to the event in which I was injured) but in both I was killed.

I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD or even seen anyone about these feelings. I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse. I'm nervous because I'm afraid of the stigma associated with any type of mental health issues in the military.

I'm sorry to be so long winded, but I really felt like I had to tell somebody. I LOVE my wife very much, but sometimes I feel like she just doesn't understand all of this. Heck, I don't even understand all of this.

I realize it could be a whole lot worse...I'm not having flashbacks or anything like that...and I'm fine most of the time. But today was really scary and uncomfortable for me. I can't wait for it to be over...

I didn't even WANT to go to any fireworks this evening. Just to uncomfortable with the idea.

So...I was just wondering, does anyone else have problems on the 4th of July?

Nate

My son came back from Iraq a year ago and my husband did 2 tours of Vietnam and he is still jumpy in his sleep so I say yes, its normal and don't wait over 40 years to get help! I still have to wake hubby up at safe distance to keep from being hit!

Welcome to NeuroTalk, Nate!

Thank you for being a brave member of our military troops.

So sorry about your troubling experience yesterday with the fireworks. (((greenne))) I hope you are able to find some answers and get some support here.

We have a great group of folks here at NT. Feel free to look around and jump in any forum. We welcome you! Looking forward to getting to know you better!

(((greenne)))

I'm a mother. My son, my only child, is over there now - Special Forces. Yesterday was horrible for me too. :( It was horrible for me during the days of the Viet Nam war too when I was a kid. I couldn't breathe easy until I saw all our soldiers come home. I named my son after my POW "brother." I got to see him come home in one piece.

I'm disabled and stuck in my home now. Yesterday sounded like gang warfare outside my window. I kept hearing little guns, then big blasts. Whenever I heard a big blast, I felt compelled to grab a gun and join my neighbors in fighting off those big guns and rockets. :(

I tried to tell myself it was only my neighbors having a good time with their families, but then it reminded me of who was missing in my family. It reminded me of the fireworks and incredible heat he is facing at the moment. I'm sure he's wasn't pigging out on BBQ and saying "ooooh and ahhhh" at the pretty colors exploding in the sky. :(

I hope and pray you won't have to return there. I hope and pray you'll be able to heal from this. You did what you had to do and you made it back alive. You still have a chance.

This is something you are going to have to incorporate into your life - somehow in a good way. I don't know how, but I will keep you in my prayers.

Happy July 5th. :hug:

Dear Nate
I just wanted to say I am so sorry that you have to go through this:(
It's good that you have opened about it here :grouphug: and I hope you will find the support you need to recover from what you endured. My dad was in WW2 and I know it left more than just the scars from his war wounds.

hoping things get better for you and thank you for your service.
God Bless
Cheri

Dear Nate, welcome home soldier. My husband was a member of the 101st and still has flashbacks from Panama. Listen, I know it's hard but you do need to seek help. This does sound like PTSD. The VA is getting so much better in recognizing PTSD. I don't know where your from but check around at your local VA or military facility and find out if it's a good hospital. If not, seek someone in the civilian arena. You have given us freedom, now it's your time to be free from your anguish. I am so sorry your affected by this but it is a normal response considering what you have been through.

If you don't feel comfortable seeking help through the VA or military, try your local church or spiritual advisor. This is what my husband did and it helped him greatly. He went through so much guilt over what he had to do and it took years before he could admit his part in what happened. Jim found peace with a Jewish chaplain at the VA who helped him understand that what happened was not his fault. He also helped him realize that bad things do happen in our world and being a soldier you follow commands even if they are hard. God understands this.

Hugs to you and your wife. I am sure your wife tries to understand but it is hard since she did not experience what you have. You need to be with others who have been there and can lean on each other. The chaplain Jim seen had experienced war and knew first hand what Jim was going through.

Nate, talk to your wife I bet she gets it alot more than you give her credit for...if not then I'm sorry. But there are those of us who DO get it, my father did 4 tours in Vietnam, I watched him dive in ditches when a car backfired....saw the results when he felt under attack and beat up my mother in his sleep. I was an army brat for 23 years and then an Airforce wife although recently divorced,hubby and I still talk 3 times a day and who knows... two of my best friends just came back from Iraq, both army (they are married) he did 3 tours she did 2, they both suffer from PTSD and it has been diagnosed.

Talk to your chaplain, family services, even your doctor...there is no shame in serving your country and returning having seen and experienced the things you did and having difficulty coping, most of us will never know first hand what it is like, I worked in a field where I saw trauma every day but noone really gets it unless they have been there. If left untreated it can destroy you, your relationships, etc. so I urge you to speak to someone even a therapist as what you disclose is confidential. Feel free to PM me anytime you need to chat. And thank you for serving our country.

Hello Nate and welcome to Neurotalk.

I'm very sorry you had that experience on the 4th, it must have been very frightening for you.

You do sound like you have PTSD. No, I'm not a doctor just someone who has dealt with and still deals with PTSD. Mine is due to something completely different.

Regardless why someone has PTSD the symptoms are the same as is the reactions we have.

Flashbacks and a strong startle reflex is common with PTSD.

It's important to seek help from a mental health provider. There is no shame in admitting you need help.

I was speaking to a Psychiatrist a couple of months ago. She is over 40 but has been asked several times to "enlist" because so many are coming back from Iraq with PTSD and the military needs more Psychiatrists.

I find it very sad and I'm sorry you are one of our Brave Young Men who now has to deal with PTSD:hug:

My husband went to Vietnam at 17 and lived in hell for almost 50 years, he finally found a therapist at Va that he clicks with (the man even calls and talks to me) and he is getting help and now my son is thinking of getting help too! Don't waste your life, get help now, you paid all the dues anyone should have to...its your turn now! You owe it to yourself to be free of the pain!

Meds causing dreams?
 

Hi,

I posted a while back on the hell that was 4th of July. I am still a bit jumpy at times, but most of the time I'm OK. I mean, how much of a response is normal? That sounds like a silly question....but I don't know what the "average" as far as adjustment after returning from combat. Should I always be a bit jumpy? It's not bad enough to where I'm scared to leave my house....I don't have flashbacks...etc. But I am uncomfortable in large crowds. Loud noises bother me. I've been having problems sleeping and lately I've been spaced out...with concentration problems(more below).

I've been suffering the effects of an ear injury and TBI since Apr 08. Over the past few months, my neurologist has tried various medications to try to get my headaches under control. I am in nearly constant pain. The headaches can be debilitating at times. It has affected my mood. I've tried an anti depressant (Pamelor)...but I actually found that while it relived some pain...I started to have mood swings. The pamelor actually made me anxious and I had a panic attack and anxiety. (First time I've had a Panic attack like this in my life!! It was scary) So we stopped the pamelor.

The best med for my headaches I found is an anti seizure(Topamax). But it causes me to lose some cognitive function, slur some words, forget things, etc. The TBI affected my memory and speech already...then add on the effects of the meds. So....I am less pain....but I am getting extremely frustrated. I get angry easy at everything. It is driving my marriage to the breaking point. My wife says I'm becoming a different person.

So...the point of all this:

Last week, my neurolgist prescribed Seraquil because I've been having increasing problems sleeping. It did the trick....I got the best sleep I've had since before I went to war. Now here's the problem....

I'm sleeping great for the first time....but I'm dreaming vividly. Some of those dreams involve my time in Iraq and the incident in which I was injured. Some are flashbacks...exactly like it occured. On two occassions in the past week, I've dreamed of the incident where I was killed in the attack and it scared me. I've also just had general dreams of war--rocket attacks, attacks on Humvee convoys, etc. (involves me in the dream, but isn't a flashback).

So, my question.....has anyone had meds stir dreams that weren't there before? The sleep is great in that I have much more energy...but the wakeup is a bit scary!! (This morning when the alarm went off I thought it was a rocket attack alarm and rolled off the bed onto the floor..scared my wife)

I had very few dreams at all before this last week....certainly none this vivid.

Is this PTSD? When I'm awake (unless someone slams a door or surprises me)..I'm generally OK....I'm not avoiding people...I'm not having disturbing thoughts all day, etc.

Any suggestions?

Nate