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I have a whole lot of things I am FURIOUS about. I have 37 years to scream and stomp about and I don't know where to start........ I don't know if I can start.
I started learning I'm not stupid. That's a giant step for an old woman. Oh, I'm uninformed and uneducated but I'm not stupid. That's a big step and I don't know how to take it.

:hug: you can wren.

you can start right here.

the talent you have is amazing.

i am blessed to have you as a friend. i wish i could take away your pain and frustration. you have a right to be angry.

you have my number. you can call me anytime.

i love you wren. :hug:

July 21, 2008

Quote of the Day
"All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience."
– Henry Miller

Hi Wren,
I was 32 when I found out I was not the stupid barfly (bartender) that was drummed into my head for years...took a course called I can depend on me, then went and passed my GED with flying colors (quit school in 8th grade) then took CAT and passed with flying colors and then went to nursing school and ended up getting award for highest grades in class! Before then I thought it was not possible to be anything but what I was, unskilled and Dependant on a man! It was the greatest feeling in the world...but I had let everyone convince me I was nothing and going no where....now I am disabled, no income since disability has not decided if I suffered enough......but we are never dumb or stupid, I think women have more smarts then the average bear ( no offense guys) :) Rant away,you deserve it, I did my share!

Wren, I am so sorry you have been hurt this way. :hug:

http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/b...ngThoughts.gif

((Wren)) I only lived with 5 years of hearing I was stupid, uninformed, and uneducated...having it pounded into me emotionally, verbally and physically. But it took many years after that 5 to figure out that I wasn't.

I'm so happy that you have figured this out. After you get over this shock, you can move forward with this newfound 'intelligence' that you thought you didn't have. (But we all knew you did.) ;)

:hug:

Woohoo Wren! Love your can-do attitude! :You-Rock:

You are a worthy recipient of my WHATTAWOMAN award!!! :winner_first_h4h: Congratulations!

Of course you're not stupid. We knew that before you did, silly! You go, girl!

It took me 10 years before I got out of a marriage where I heard that very same thing day after day. Eventually I did start to have faith in myself again. It wasn't easy and it wasn't something that happened quickly, but it did happen.

We care about you Wren. Please take comfort in knowing that we're here for you, to give you all the support that you need, and to remind you that you are a worthwhile individual with an awful lot to give. :hug:

we are proud of you, wren!

((((BIG HUGS))))

much love,

da mois...

I hope you would share some of your beautiful crafts here...:)

((((((((((((Wren))))))))))))))))
The person who tried to convince me that I as stupid ( because girls just are) was my father....it took me years to figure out that he did it to keep me from knowing how much smarter I was than HE WAS....
I am not stupid...and neither are you. Just stupid, mean people trying to make us feel like them.
Glad you know now what everyone here knew all along: you're fantastic.:D

I wonder...well...wait...OK I do wonder but needed to post this here...

I wonder about how I can understand what you guys mean...

that's what happened the other night...

I felt undeserving of anyone's love or affection...that I was an empty shell...that no matter how hard I try or whatever I try to accomplish, it just will NOT be good enough...but good enough for whom?? I am actually quite happy (usually) where I am at in my life...I have a great wife, my mom is the happiest I've seen her in over 30 years, my brothers seem to be emerging from their cocoons...and I, myself, am at a good place, usually...happy with myself about 75% of the time...

then, BOOM...darkness blindsides me..

I kept on telling myself that it is not true yet the dark side just hits heavier...

I felt like Jekyll and Hyde...one minute, I felt like I deserve to be loved and cared about, the next minute, I felt like I just need to be erased forever...

and the panic attacks just set in...

And then I get so embarassed afterwards...then the low self-esteem start to set in then I start to doubt everything that I touch,from my work to my cats....

I hate this damn mind trick that I play with moiself...sometimes, I DO feel like I am a third person to myself...does that make sense??

Then, once I am "out" of it, I examine what I was feeling and I say to myself, "who was that??" "WTF????"

Scary...I know we all have darksides...I just hope I can talk about mine without scaring people off....

((((everyone))))

and thanks: da wife, for being so understanding...:)
somedays, I really really don't know why you put up with moi...but boy, I am NOT complaining!