Feeling sad after return from holiday...
 

We were away on holiday for almost 10 days, and returned last weekend. Don't get me wrong, we had a lovely time, and were able to visit with old friends I had originally met after I came over to the states. Most of them live in NYC, or the surrounding areas, and we spent the entire time in NYC, and even a few days at a friend's weekend getaway home in the mountains. Monday was my 1st day back at work, and last night was my 1st night on-call.

For some reason, I'm very depressed. Everyone was lovely, and went out of their way to make us feel at home. BUT, it seems like everyone else's life is settled with children, and homes, etc. I suppose I am the only one of my friends from graduate school who is ill (we're still quite a close knit bunch), and I feel like the odd one out; almost like I don't know where to fit in.:(

I came home, and although we had a lovely holiday, I'm more depressed than when we left. I hate this disease. I wish I didn't have to work, but financially I do until I can't physically anymore, and I almost feel jealous of my friends for all the "things" they have including their health (which they seem to take for granted). Is it me, or does anyone else ever feel like this? Perhaps we shouldn't even bother to go on holiday anymore. Physically, I felt well. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Warm, but not hot days, and nice cool nights (compared to where we are now).

What's wrong with me?:o

Aw, Chrappy, I'm sorry you're feeling crappy, it's really not like you.

Sometimes these things get to me too, I remember the day my doc explained that the MS can mess with your emotions. He put me on a low dose of ADs and it seemed like he saved my life. It's been many years and I'm still on it.

Please tell your docs and let them help you!:hug:

Chris, I know exactly what you are saying. :(

I have mostly shut myself off so that I don't have to feel that sense of disappointment. Mine has mostly to do with missing the social aspects of working and being in the real world, like attending company picnics, discussing current events, working with a team to find solutions to problems, attending concerts/ball games, etc . . . Yeah, I MISS being able to keep up with people in this way, and feeling "part of it"!

It would also be difficult if I wanted a child and this disease impeded that. Well, it did really . . . since I have had MS for more years then kids, but I went for it anyway. It was not always easy ~ raising kids as a healthy parent is not easy ~ but it was the best decision I've made in spite of those obstacles. Life without kids would be very lonely (for me), especially with the other sacrifices I've had to make.

It's not fair that we have been dealt this, in our prime. I have had to re-invent myself, and it is not what I thought it would be. There is a grieving process we need to go through with that . . .

Have you considered adopting? Even if it is an older child?

Cherie

Sounds to me its the bittersweet return to reality that vacation often brings everyone added to the fact that you have this stinking disease. If it doesn't subside in a few days I would consider seeing your Doc.

:hug:

There's nothing wrong with you, Chris :), unless this feeling lasts for too long. When my best friend of 31 years came to visit me, it was wonderful :). After she left I cried off and on for a few days. I'm envious of her health, her job, her abilities :(. We used to lead near identical lives before the MS. I love her dearly and miss her quite a bit (she lives in PA and I'm in FL) but when I see the differences between us that never used to exist it makes me quite sad. As long as this mini-depression doesn't last, I'm sure you'll be okay :). Since I'm relatively newly diagnosed, just a bit over a year ago, I believe I just need more time to adapt to this BS MS.

What Nappy said, Chris. I am so sorry this has hit you now..

Please feel better..:hug:

Thank you Cindy,
I am going to wait until the beginning of next week to see if it may just be a reaction from returning to "real life". If it is not, I will certainly be in contact with either my PCP or my Neurologist's office to see about starting an AD. Thanks for your concern.:hug:

Thank you, Cherie. I think you've been here longer than most to know that we've tried and tried to have a child of our own to no avail. We've looked into the adoption route with little to no success due to the fact that I have MS, and the system here prefers parents who are "healthy". We are trying to go the private route, as I have connections being in the field, yet most single Moms still want a healthy couple for a child they are going to give up. We've thought and discussed adopting a special needs child, but even that system has it's checks and balances.

Thank you, Jules. I do plan on doing precisely that.

Thank you, Joelle. I suppose you'll learn that there are times when this disease sucks more, and hurts more than others, but it's an ever evolving process. I don't believe we ever really adapt. We just have to deal with it. We have no choices.:(