Rest, Relaxation and Colonoscopy ??????
 

A good friend pointed this out.......

When normal people get stressed they go to a spa, shopping or maybe a vacation. But not me..............I go to the hospital !!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :Excited:

On Friday, I go for an endoscopy and the colonoscopy. :eek:

Cant wait to get away !!!!!!!! :yahoo: :yahoo:



Now where did I put that jacket that lets me hug myself all day long ???

How DO you respond to that? I'm so not sure of a "proper" response. So I'll just post this:

Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.

Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine ...' ... and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

--Dave Barry

Kinda pathetic when ya gotta look at a chance to lay on a gurney as a trip, eh MM???

You'll do fine and enjoy the meds. Let us know how things go and take care.

My DH is having one tomorrow. He's miserable now because of the prep and not being able to eat anything also. the day before is the worst day.:eek:

the prep is the worse part take the laptop into the privy and enjoy

hope you, pardon the use of the word, PASS, the test

I must admit that when I read the thread title, you had me stumped!

How could Rest, Relaxation and Colonoscopy all be linked together I ask? :eek:

Then I thought with my own upcoming colonoscopy, I think I'm going to need all the relaxation tips I can get. :D

anne the day before is the worse part of it, its a lot scarier sounding than it really is.

Don't I know it! :confused:

They found my tumor on a colonoscopy and I had to drink all the prep for that, then when I went back for the bowel resection I had to take it all over again.

I'm due now for my 12 months check up, and I have to go through it all once more.

Beware-had colonoscopy and endoscopy last week
 

Beware-being "cleaned out" that much (and we're talking very, very 'cleaned out") wreaks havoc with whatever half-life your PD med's may have had. I couldn't get back on my feet for nearly two days, even after three doses every three hours right after procedure. Even a week later, I'm not at baseline that existed before procedure.

Who knows what the effects are of all those preparations-yech! And then trying to get up to take a crap when you're "off," anyway, over and over??!!!!
I considered sleeping on the bathroom floor....
My doc had me admitted overnight to monitor my bp, which drops pretty easily, (true for many of us) since the dehydration factor from the Miralux and the shitting for hours is a dehydration risk factor.
My good news is colonoscopy came back negative. Endoscopy, not so good. Awaiting biopsy results on a "node." Wish me luck.... Leonore

I know what you mean, MM! Even when I had to have massive open surgery, I kept myself cheered up with the thought that I would have a whole week of peace and quiet in the hospital. My family kids me that when I need a vacation from my kids, I find something else that needs operated on.

And I love Dave Barry! He's hysterical - ROFLMAO! However, during my last colonoscopy I never was out of it, just relaxed. I remember everything about it, had a whole conversation with the dr and nurse, got to see the pictures of my innards in real time and everything. The prep is completely the worst part in every way. It makes me feel like I'm being turned inside out. I told the dr I was going to invent an easier prep and become an instant millionaire. He said, "Aw, if it was easy then everyone would want one!"

Good luck with yours!