Doctor frustration and so exhausted after a "relaxing" vacation
 

Hi,
I just have to complain today - I am so upset.

I am not yet dx, been in limbo for about 12 years now. I do have chronic cluster migraines, Cervical Spinal Stenosis, Fibromyalgia and Hashimoto's Disease and my Neurologist believes that I have MS but needs one more piece of the puzzle to make a 100% dx.

Having said all that - I do OK most of the time - work full time in an office and really have to pace myself. I never alter my sleep schedule, very careful with stress. I have to be extremely regimented and pay attention to my body at all times - you all know the drill......

I have never, ever had an issue with a doctor believing me or questioning my symptoms or treating me as if I am a "hypochondriac" - UNTIL TODAY !!!

I went to my Primary (whom I almost never see) because my BP is too high, has been for too long - and I finally needed to address this issue. Also, I am 50, have a familial history of Colon cancer and my father's doctor told him 10 years ago that I should begin having colonoscopies due to the genetic component - I never did. I am having a few "issues" and decided that I need to do that ASAP, and this was another reason to talk with the Primary.

I decided that I would fill him in on my Hashimotos dx since he was unaware - and also question him about my leg problems and some other things while there. I had a list of 6 things - frankly, I thought as my primary - he should know these things and put it in my record.

In any case - he made me feel like such a hypochondriac. He is a normally a kind and gentle man - however, when I discussed these issues - it was his body language and what he didn't say - and his RUSHED manner. He walked out right in the middle of something I was saying - telling me he was going to get the prescription (for my BP) and would be right back. He came back fairly quickly and seemed initially happy as if - I had forgotten what I was talking about. He then seemed to pick up on the fact - that I purposefully had nothing more to say to HIM. I was nice, just thanked him and left but I felt sooooooo humiliated !!! He commented as I left that "Well, I now have all your diagnosis" as if I had told him 30 things. I commented - the only thing I have is Hashimotos !!!" I said this because I did NOT mention Stenosis, Fibro, migraines. The only additional condition I mentioned was that my Neuro thinks I have MS.

When I got to the car - I THREW the prescription and the labs that I had taken to show him - into the floor of the back seat and left.

My feeling is - how do we explain to a doctor about what we are going through - without putting them off ???? It may have been just HIM, but it may have been how "I" presented it ????

Oh - I just wanted to scream and I will never go back to him now. NEVER.
In fact, I so completely understand my Mother - my Mother REFUSES to see a doctor except to get her Thyroid medication - or if she is extremely ill and needs antibiotics - PERIOD.

The only reason I want to continue following my health is because I fear I will reach a point that I cannot work and I need it documented and I need somebody to go to bat for me if I have to file for unemployment. There are times I can barely function now and I would not be able to hold down a job if I didn't have such a flexible work situation.

I was in Florida all last week - and it was just a relaxing beach vacation - but just the change - the drive home - (back to TN) has thrown me for a complete loop. Thus - I think this is part of the reason that I am feeling additional frustration.

I will likely go to bed by 7:00 to 7:30 pm tonight (as I have every night this week), just trying to recover and keep going.

Just venting I suppose - I am just frustrated beyond belief that a doctor can and will make such "assumptions" about patients.

OK - I think I am being silly that I let this effect me so much - I just don't like being made to feel like that. I have read so many stories - seems almost constant that there is a similar story to this posted by someone.

Guess it was just my turn to be made to feel "small" by a physician.

If you made it this far - thank you so very, very much for taking the time to read about my frustrations.... :hug:

Snoods...

Hiya, Snoodles. I’ve been in your position, and it really does hurt one’s feelings. The medical facts you recounted to you PCP are very important to you for very obvious reasons. I certainly wouldn’t blame you if you did kick the doctor to the curb. You might want to cool down a little before making a final decision about it, but you really do have a perfect right to have your nose out of joint about the doctor’s attitude. His remarks were inexcusable. Only you can decide whether or not to cut him some slack.

"Guess it was just my turn to be made to feel "small" by a physician."

Ahhh, that's too bad. :( But you're not small to me:

Snoodles,
You are right to feel slighted by your pcp. What I want you to do now is to take notes about your vent, and sit down and write your pcp a letter, stating how you felt ignored and slighted, and that you didn't appreciate the treatment.
None of us deserves this treatment--and there are many of us who've experienced it. It would be wise to list what you'd originally desired to discuss with him, and let him know that as your primary care physician, it is both his and your responsibility to work together to make sure that you get the best treatment possible to be healthy.
Why do they push us out the door like this? How many of us have given up trying to get an answer as to what is causing us to be unwell?
So much for the best health care in the world. Hah!:mad:

** duplicate posting (below)

Why would your Primary doctor not already have all the results from your other testing? Is that not standard procedure there, that a copy of all test results go to him? :confused: (I don't know how things work in the US ... )

I have a great doc, but he hates it when I come in with a laundry list. He'd much rather that I come in 2 or 3 times with information, then bombard him with too much all at once. That depends on his mood too though. :rolleyes:

The other alternative, and I've done this before, is to drop a brief summary into his office several days before your appointment. That gives him time to read it when it suits him . . . and prepare a response for when you come in, rather then deal with things on the fly.

That's all retrospect now, but something to consider for the next doc . . .

Sorry to hear he left you feeling so bad. :hug:

Cherie

(((hugs))) sorry it was horrible for you.



You see, me? I have stopped taking crap from them. If I feel I am being dismissed, I hold up my hand in the stop sign position, and when they stop talking and look at me, i say "Um excuse me, but why are you being so dismissive? did I say something that triggered you? was I wrong to update you? I was hoping that you wanted to be part of my team, but if that is the case that you dont, well, just let me know. I will be glad to seeek out another MD." You cant beleive how fast some of them start back peddling.

I am just too old and too sick to put up with bullcrap anymore. not gonna play with um anymore.

:hug: Snoods :hug:

We should never be made to feel small by any physician. Some of them have the misconception that they are the "end all - be all" of medicine. They aren't.

They work for us. We hire them to provide medical care. Now, I know that they have to document things and complete disability forms when we need them - but we pay for that - and that is their job. They signed up for it.

I used to be afraid to speak up. Not anymore. My PCP is great. Doesn't assume anything and always asks me what my take on his dx or thoughts. I appreciate that.

My Neuro is a different story. I finally spoke up last time I was there and let him know that I was the one who would make the decision on which DMD to take (or not to take). He was aggressively pushing one particular one that I simply did not want to try. He got very short with his comments after that and I didn't speak again unless he asked me something. Not from intimidation - just from exasperation that it had to come to that.

I know "me" better than anyone else. My Neuro sees me for fifteen minutes (tops) every 6 months. I live with myself. I don't think that I'm smarter than he is - but I do know that I know myself better than he does.

Please don't let this egotistical doctor dampen your spirit. I'd request my medical records and begin looking for another doctor that will take the time to listen.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr..:mad: Sorry, Snoodles..:hug:

Thanks for the responses. I attempted to post earlier today but it wouldn't let me.

Marion: :hug: It actually did hurt my feelings and it bothered me that I allowed him to hurt my feelings. I honestly decided at the moment of realization during the visit - that he was discounting me - that I would not go back to him. :(

Twink: Thank you and thank you for the hug !!! :hug:

Debbie: :hug: I think your idea is absolutely wonderful and in reality - I think I should do what you have said (if not for me, for his other patients who might leave feeling as I did). BUT - I am just completely spent - I have nothing to give anybody at this moment and I don't even have the will or desire to make the effort to address the issue with him. I am just done with him. I do hope that if this occurs with another of his patiets that it will be addressed but I am at the point I have to pick and choose my battles right now - and I MUST work so that is where my energy has to go. Thank you though.

Cherie: :hug: You are absolutely correct - he should have had my labs already - but I have found that doctors don't go back and look over these things so I hand carried them to bring to his attention. I think you may have hit it on the head - I had too many things to discuss and he was put off. I had 6 things on my list and I rarely go see him so we don't really have much if any relationship anyway. I like your idea of a summary before the visit but question as to whether he (or others) would read prior - they should.

Dejibo: :hug: Thank you for the hug - I like your attitude - I too am too old for bull crap but I don't seem to have things under control as you do. I need to work on being more assertive as you are !!! I didn't say anything but I tried to say it without saying a thing but just cutting him off as he did me - by just abrubtly stopping talking. Who knows if he got the idea or not though.

Kelly: :hug: THank you ! I so agree with all that you say and they do work for US. Your PCP sounds wonderful - my old one was fantastic - similar to yours but he retired. Sorry your Neuro is not so great and glad you spoke up to him. They don't seem to unerstand that we do know our own bodies and much better than they can.

Sally: :hug: I guess this kind of thing just happens, so I just need to buck up. I'm a little better today but still frustrated.