its four A.M. do you know where your thoughts are
 

"What MS has in store"

You wonder why, how come and what for,
finding out each day what tomorrow had in store.
Mind blowing how it can change us, so much,
to the point where you actually lose touch.
Not with your fingers, that you will see in time,
oh these fun things, so many to blow your mind.
Numbness and pinny tingles, your legs and arms feel asleep,
gets so worrisome, if you think too much on it you will weep.
Ms hug, yea right, like thats a real medical term,
you're in its tight grasp, so painful, some say it burns.
Why does it feel heavy and hurt, Footdrop, great oh swell
some terms fit, some just make you laugh, on you go, oh well.
Ms bugs, noway can I buy this, yet sometimes my eyes do see,
out of the corner just a flash, or laying down, jezz i got fleas.
Exasperation, say it, I cant even spell it, why whats it mean
not again, another relapse, what damage is left, shall be seen.
Here is another word for your mind, Spasticity, out of sight,
can my legs and arms hurt so much, why is my skin so tight.
Things to blow your mind, oh wait, yea this is fun,
what mind, what memory, no cognitive, absolutely none.
This ones good, where are my friends, how can life be so askew,
they distant themselves from you, strangers think its bird flu.
Now I need a cane, oh I can feel the people stare,
how can it cripple me so much, how did i get in this chair.
My job i loath and despised so much I wanted to quit,
losing it cause I cant perform my job, talk about a being hit.
Another smack upside the head of life, to help us see,
did I even mention troubles some have when they pee.
Some are lucky and find out soon, and don't spend the years,
searching, looking, no answers, your head fills with fears.
With all that MS does to us, here is what gives my brain a start,
some long distance friends have gotten so close to my heart.
Should I let them in, should I let them get so close,
scared to do so, I know its these friends I cherish the most.
We all share a bound, a common thread of pain,
please allow my friendship to be your umbrella in the rain.
I still ponder that dreaded question, in my mind
realizing after years of thought, no answer shall I find.
There is no wondering why, how come, or what for,
I shall keep helping others and see what MS for me has in store

Don't you ever sleep????


Thanks for the poem, I kept nodding my head as I read it!

yes as I have told so many on here, when I am driving:yikes:

we are sitting for a 2.5 and a 6 month old she got hungry at 330 and called out in a rather stern cry feed me now

I am sitting here in tears...............certian parts of that just hit home with me like ohhh say a mack truck hitting me..........

Today I can hardly hold a cig and picking up my coffe with my right hand was NOT going to happen....(usually its my left side outta whack) is it just a morning thing today? will it still be here this evening or in the morning? who knows....its the suprise game of our lives......

Cant pee this am....on 2nd cup of coffee.....when will it hit me to go? on the drive to work? while on the phone with a client, on a condo tour????who knows?????

I have choosen to include my DH as my only friend. I cannot manage to keep others happy and HE knows me inside and out...and loves me anyway.....he never gets mad about my emotions....or "lack" of them....(I have more trouble with that one)
He just stands by...lets me do my thing, takes my hand,tells me he loves me and we go on....ONE DAY AT A TIME.....
This recent trip gave us both alot of time to "talk" and to think.....
and we are making some changes in our lives for the better....

Other then my DD at home and 2 sons, and the communication I get online and at work...I have pretty much shut myself off from the rest of the world. I dont have time and energy to deal with others....I know that sounds HEARTLESS but I look at it like this....

I only have a certian amount of energy, love (that emotion thing) and understanding and coping tools to get me through a day at a time....MY KIDS AND HUSBAND DESERVE THAT BEST PART OF ME...
everything else, everyone else are just grains of salt.....

Does that make me a heartless B-word? Does anyone else understand that?
When quility of life gives me limits....I choose Tim and the kids......they are the ones who will be there in the end...I wanna be there for them now in the begenning!

Sorry Frank I guess I should have posted my own thread not run over yours.....)

THE POEM IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US (ME)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kay its okay, you know i know what you mean, I get a feeling I get heartless cause of my limitations, and its not others fault but life goes on others will have to deal with it or step off. and my wife Deb is my truest friend, too. Although i am trying to meet some other MSers from near by, but its so hard one is up one is down we all dont seem to be synced,

Glad you liked it, I keep trying to capture this illness in poem and its so hard, cause theres so much, I even got depressed writing that this morning, thats why it took me an hour, or so, I hit the friendship part, got a wee bit emotional,

life, aint it a blast(looking forward to more pics kay)

Great work Frank!

Good sentiments, Frank. :hug: After so many years of this, I can honestly tell you that for each loss, I have gained. My authentic needs have always been met, and I am continually blessed with wonderful people.

Frank - Again, thanks for sharing this. I love it!!!

At 4 in the morning, I really don't know where my thoughts are and don't particularly care. I am sure they are lost in some dream. LOL

Thanks for the poem Frank!

MS has brought so many wonderful friends into my life, that I cheerish everyday. Some stay longer than others but that I have learned is part of life whether we like it or not.

Amen to that Char. Some of the best friends I have ever "met" are right here. :hug: The ones that stay are worth the salt in your tears. :)

Twenty years for Jim and I. We've had friends come and go. I try to give my all to everyone I consider a friend, especially my close friends. If they can take the time to accept me and my sometimes off the wall self, they deserve my respect and my time to give back my very best. I may not be the perfect friend, but I try.

If I can't give one day it's OK, they love me anyway. If I overstep, they love me anyway. If I crab out, they love me anyway. If I get crazy, they love me anyway. If I give them money, they REALLY love me. lmao

What's that saying? A friend will let you cry on their shoulders but a real friend will bail you out of jail and yell "That was the best!" :D

Seriously, the only real problem I have is when someone needs you. They take and you give. But when they no longer need you they take off.

Hmmm, could Jim and I be whom you are referring to? :p

Who loves ya Frank and Deb? Come on, you know. LOL Jim and I are thinking a road trip up to your area is in order. hahahaha