Today, and yesterdays ct scan
 

First the ct scan yesterday was something. I got there okay and then
the machine broke down. And I had to wait a extra hour or longer.

And just was so miserable waiting, but finally got done. They gave
me the crystal light mixture and its been helping the constipation. But
the pain meds I'm not sure if its hiding the pain from the abdomin today
or if its just not as bad as all other things. Just life.

Today wow, they had the worst luck getting a IV in. It took three really
bad area's to try. And a really weepy lady was I. But finally they got
it in.

Then the worst of the time with the pain in my neck, I guess they were
right my left side is the worst. Because I sure felt the pain all the time.
They kept giving me meds for the pain, which was good. I was off when
we left, which really hurt my relationship with my husband.

He just wasn't getting the fact his wife wasn't with him. Just someone riding
home with him. We had van trouble on the way in. Had to take it back home. What really was irritating about it, I had been telling him since Saturday or Sunday this was happening. And I'm to go to Indy on Friday
for a very big fair, I set up a booth at. It really means a lot to my job.

Its one of the things I do the best. So he is not really caring, thinking I
can do this or that. That really aren't working for me. First he thinks I
should just make my son and his girl let me drive their van till I get mine
back. Well that doesn't work, she needs a vehicle, and so does he.
So I wont do that, I remember all the times I have been without. And how
I have felt. And then just take this green truck we own, well gosh if
I had been allowed to drive it more than today, when I'm not supposed to
be driving. Then that would be okay.

But it runs bad, and I'm not wanting to get stuck in the middle of no where,
tomorrow meeting a parent. And then taking and picking up Derrick to something he has already promised to do. Just not fair to him.

Next well you just aren't wanting to work with me. I said, I wanted to rent a car. At first we could rent a car, were the van is being fixed. But instead
of saying. You need to go home and call them to do that. I thought when
he called to have my van fixed he was going to have them set it up, but
no. And did he say so, no just let me believe I was back to working through
the problem alone.

If you have been with me this far, thanks. Then he through's through this mess. I think you need a psychiatrist you have a screw lose. Hmmm, were
he got this I don't know.


He is not thinking, at some point he said, I'm just depressed. Meaning him.

He needs help not me. But I'm going to look for myself help I can't take this
now.

Donna

If you got through that here is some good with bad.

First my fair and conference on Friday, its a assisibility fair. I plan to
find Derrick some stuff. Then I have to schedule them to come visit
and work it out. With the school. Its necessary. He is reading
at a mild and moderate disability.

Next the fair itself was falling apart things I sent didn't get there. But
I handled that with my supervisor. She was taking care of it.

So then I get a call from a Director of Special Education in a area. Where
I've been helping a parent, that has filed a complaint.

She has requested my help resolving this issue. Very happy about this.


Next I get a phone call today. Then a email explaining, IN*SOURCE has
been asked to participate in The Governor's Conference in December
with a booth. And my supervisor wanted to know if I'm available to do
it. Yippee, I fought very hard last year to get this one added to
our year. To be requested back, and then have our bosses put it in the
schedule without having to ask is fantastic.

I have already seen the speaker's and really wanted to ask permission to
go. So know I am.

Yes, finally some things are going good.

Donna

Thank you for posting this!
I still get mad at your husband for the way he treats you.
ugh!
bizi

Dear Donna,
I really read the whole thing.
Keep doing what you can for yourself.
You sound brave.
M.

Mari and Bizi

I thank you both, I know that you read the whole thing. It really helps
me to post it all.

My husband honestly doesn't know how it sounds or what he is doing.
The sad part is that my 23 year old is doing lots of things just like him
recently. I keep telling him to stop acting, doing and sounding like his
dad. He doesn't like the way he is. So to stop doing it too.

Hoping to get through to him. Not sure I ever will, but I don't plan to
stop.

I do plan to locate a psychologist that I will write the name and phone
number for him. I am debating sending him to someone I know that
I think would do him good. But he usually works for and with kids
and moms.

But I believe he would be the best for my husband to talk to and get
a start.
I personally want a woman to talk too. With the past I had of kinds of
therapist. I'm having a hard time biting the bullet and going and hunting.
Donna

The ct scan has no answers. He is sending me to IU med center for
a second opinion.

I don't want to make anyone sick or worried. But I am having problems,
with diarrhea type stuff, and blood not sure if its from all the mess.

Or something else. Need some ideas, other than go to doctor.

Got told go for 2nd opinion when asked what to try.


Day 3 or so now.
Hmmm.

Donnna

Dear Donna,
I'm sorry that you are on this journey.
'Sending you healing thoughts.
M

Thanks Mari

I'm just biding my time.

Donna