If I am being honest....
 

It has been a long time since I have worked in the medical field......
It has been 10 years since I had a cpr class.
I ordered the test booklet and am supposed to call the instructor when I am ready to go thru the training/certification process.
I am terrified.

bizi

Awww, Bizi. I'll bet you'll do fine. :hug:

Don't you think it's like learning how to ride a bike again? It'll come back to you.

Try not to beat yourself up so much. It was probably just a one-time thing that happened when you "failed to react." Maybe you had stage fright!

The homeless need you. You need to get CPR certified. You don't fail unless you fail to try.

Bizi, I think you are a winner! In fact, I'll bet you can earn my WhataWoman award. I've only awarded a small handful to worthy NT recipients. There's even a virtual trophy that goes with it. ;)

All you gotta do is try! Read the book and picture yourself saving someone in each situation. Cast yourself as the hero! Lemmesee, Wonder Woman is already taken. How about Bizi Babe?

Yes! Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Bizi Babe!

Tune in and follow the adventures of Bizi Babe: Faster than a runaway gurney. Able to resuscitate drowning victims with a single breath. Helping the homeless with her capable, healing hands. It's the incredible, unsinkable, unstoppable Bizi Babe! :D

Why on earth would you consider yourself a fraud! I would much rather have a nurse, mechanic, babysitter, spouse, or friend that knew their limitations and stuck to what they were comfortable with! I think that is an admirable quality!
You will do fine at your CPR class. And if you have to take it twice, so be it! (I had to take statistics 3 dang times before I passed it. And I certaintly don't think it makes me any less adequate to do my job!)
Don't you dare be ashamed.
Foot care is stil nursing, it is extremely necessary, and I'm sure your clients value what you do for them.
Study your book. Don't worry about the test. It will still be there when you are ready to take it.
:hug:

Bizi,
Did you recently get the book?
For me, it would help to put the book aside and get used to having it. After a little time, I would feel better about it and then get to work studying.

I don't know if that works for you, but I have learned to make time my friend.

At any rate, I have faith that you'll do fine. Tell yourself this kind of fraud feeling you have is probably normal and that it is ok to feel this.

Mari

I think a lot of bipolars feel like frauds. They have such high expectations for themselves and put so much pressure on themselves. Can you study and just tell yourself you are doing it for you and not for a profession switch?
Take as much stress off as possible. You deep down know it is a piece of cake but your bipolar is blowing it way out of proportion. Maybe you are ambivalent and just like doing what you are doing. Maybe you realize that bipolars need minimum stress to function well.
DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP
Bobby

Bizi,

I understand how you feel and I think standing in front of the mirror every day tellling yourself you Can do this will help.

befuddled2

Thank you all for your replies and kind words.
The last time that I tried to take a course was when I had reenlisted in the military to get retrained for an emergency tech position...I was facing this fear of mine head on...the only problem was at that time I had taken myself off meds and had become full blown manic over that 5 weeks and had a breakdown when it came time to actually go thru the motions/testing of advanced CPR and got sick with menigitis and was in the hospital for a couple of weeks, and went home to my mothers to take care of me while I got better....I never finished the course and had to be discharged from the air guard.
This still haunts me.
bizi

Perhaps the pressure of you being in the guard added to it?
This is for you. Not because it is required.
You are not in any danger of losing your job.
This is a do at your own pace, when you feel up to it, study as it pleases you option.
It will be there when your ready for it. And you can put it away when you aren't.
I like Mari's suggestions.

thank you bobi,
you are right...
I will take my time....I am the one putting pressure on myself.
bizi

That was then, this is NOW! You can do it! (Stay on your meds, okay?) :hug: