Depression Post-Surgery?
 

Hi everyone. I'm new and my name is Candice. I'm 52 years old. I had surgery to repair an unruptured aneurism on September 11th, after they found it in an MRI while trying to determine the cause of vertigo. It turned out my vertigo was caused by permanent damage to my inner ear from an ear infection. I feel blessed that the aneurism was found, and could be repaired. It went well, and my physical healing seems to be going well, too. I have a wonderful circle of support from friends and family, and co-workers. I've been off work and won't return until the end of November.

I want to know if anyone else has experienced depression and anxiety after coming through surgery? I can't make sense of this. For a few weeks right after surgery, I was elated and happy, and was laughing alot, just happy to be alive.

NOW, for the past few weeks (maybe 3), I am in such a depressed state, my sleep is all over the map, insomnia, and generally just feeling hopeless, useless and yet, I know intellectually that these things aren't true. My family doctor wants to put me on Ceprilex, for my depression, but I am unsure of taking them, as there are numerous side effects. I am feeling sad, and cry at the drop of a hat, for no reason. I find myself spending a lot of time alone.

I started seeing a counsellor this week, because I can not deal with feeling so low, all the time!

What I want to know is, do others experience this after brain surgery and is this normal? I want it to pass. I try doing one or two productive things/day, however my energy level and motivation is low. I manage to get to the gym about 4-5 times per week. This makes me feel marginally better, but the effects don't last.

Anyone out there who has had these post-surgery symptoms?

Thanks,
Candice (Ashika)

Hi Candice yes I too battled with depression panic attacks and anxiety however I have come through the other side and am ok now. Jess.xxx

Hi Candice,
I am not surprised at your reaction. I had an MRI due to sudden facial drooping almost two yrs ago and they found my aneursyms. To actually realize your own mortality is a hard thing to cope with. I'd find someone to talk to... possibly a friend that has had serious health problems or a therapist. It is really helpful to vent. People near you often feel that you have "been fixed", look fine, and need to move on. It takes time. :hug: Sarah

Hi Candice
I am just wondering how you are feeling now. I only read your post today, and it moved me. Depression after annie surgery is very common. Not only have you faced the prospect of dying, you have had major surgery and someone has been mucking around with your brain - the thing that makes you, YOU.

So, there are quite a few factors that are affecting you. There is a physiological reaction to your brain chemistry after the surgery. There is a psychological reaction to facing your own mortality. Then there are self-esteem issues that arise from feeling that you look like cr*p, (after my clipping surgery I looked like a creature from the black lagoon), and the issues that relate to temporarily diminished mental capacity, memory, emotional lability etc.

There is no shame in this - many of us have depression after (usually around three months or so). Talk to your doctor and see if there is a medication/treatment that will work for you.

My thoughts are with you, know that there is support out there.

Hugs

Lyn

Hi Candice,
I am very sad to hear that you are suffering depression after surgery. I also suffered badly from depression after my aneurysm was clipped and I later learned that the epilepsy medication I was prescribed was the reason my mood changed so radically day-to-day. I would recommend that you seek advise from your Doctor. Tests can be done to establish if any medication you may have been adivsed to take, is the correct dosage; or perhaps another drug may be prescribed in its place. Be articulate with how you feel, if your Doctor seems un-moved by your situation - seek out another Doctor.
It took me 3 days from when I stopped taking Dilantin (almost 1 year after surgery) to feel like "the old me". I was very surprised, it seemed almost impossible that these little tablets were in fact hampering my recovery and not enhancing it!!!!! It took me about 3 to 4 years to feel that my life had gotten back to normal (my surgery lasted over 7 hours) and I can say that my life is pretty good, so 'hang in there'!!
I have read on other web sites; aneurysm survivers' journals and one common recurring comment was that all of us sufferd depression and we all took epilepsy medication. It seems that there is a possible link between these two situations.
I wish you the very best Candice
Tess - Australia (age 42)

Hi Candice,
I also had depression,still deal with it off and on. Lynn said it all,we all go through this. It's been almost five years and I still look for the old me...can't find her but learning to live with who I am now. Hope you start feeling better soon.

ooxx
Mimi

Hi Candace,
What you are going through with depression is very common, whether you had coiling, clipping or rupture, the depression afterward is common. My thoughts on it are I always felt I was this really healthy person that would never get a life threatening illness, but it happened and in a moment my life changed considerably and will never be quite the same. The big thing i feel I lost was that secure safe feeling that nothing bad will ever happen, because it can and it did. This is something that I have learned to live with, and do battle with down feelings still after 4 years, but it is much better with time. You will be fine, just give yourself time and try to focus on the good things in your life.
Ruthie

I had my surgery in July of 2005, and I still have alot of anger, anxiety and deppression stemming for the whole experience. I go thru my phases were I will be fine for a while then drop into a funk thinking about everything and then being paranoid about my future health. So its most definetely normal to have these types of feelings. And I know first hand that its difficult to discuss these feelings with people who haven't experienced this type of traumatic event. I've even had a few people have the nerve to say that I use my experience as a "crutch" and that all those feelings are "just in my head". I was like "WOW, really? Lets see how you would feel after having an aneurysm at 27 years old". I've tried "medicine" and to tell you the truth I find talking to others like me to be the most theraputic. But you gotta figure out what works best for you.

There are going to be those times where you feel depressed and confused, but always remember we are all here for one another. In some way we are a type of family here, brought together by our common experience. So if you should ever need us, we are here. :hug:

Could I be developing a brain aneurysm like my father did?
 

Hi. I too had surgery had surgery for an inner ear infection that became horribly infected and I became violently ill on March 9, 2010, I saw my doctor on March 10 and on March 11 he fit me in his surgery schedule because I was experiencing nausea for the first time in my life that was so bad I couldn't even hold down water. I had the surgery then I became violently ill that night and my 17-year-old son was so concerned that he called 911 in the morning and went to the hospital with me where they gave me anti-nausea drugs and he took the day off from school to spend the day taking care of me. Then I came back for a follow-up appointment with my doctor on March 19. He was so concerned about my physical symptoms and my state of mind that he wanted me to stay in hospital, but I was worried about what it would cost, so I convinced him that I try being at home, being taken care of by my daughter, which turned out not to be a very good idea because she was having some very serious problems of her own, recovering from a gunshot wound to the face by an unstable (and now in jail) boyfriend. I wound up having a very bad reaction to the anesthetic (I always do) and the anti-nausea medicine and I suffered many falls, the last one being so bad that I had a slight concussion when I was sleep walking (more like sleep running...something I never do under normal circumstances) and I plowed head-first into the bathroom door with my son doing his best to catch me and he tried to pull me back from hitting my head, but I still got hurt. I tried to take care of it myself, but I had to go back into the emergency room and they kept me in the hospital for a couple of days for observation. Since that time I have tried desperately to get caught up with all of my mother's taxes, bills and appointments while trying my best to help my children and I am so despondent about the reception I've been getting from the people around me that I don't know where to turn. I didn't have a brain aneurysm that I know of, though my father, whom I take after, died from one when he was only 74. I am 53. The cat-scan they did looked "fine" they said, but the vertigo has been pretty bad at times, though I am finally getting some physical therapy for that. My main problem is that of trying to get back into my normal routine and I haven't had much sympathy at all from my family, they seem more concerned about all that I haven't been getting done for them. I was told to get rest and to get help to get back on my feet again, but I've been easily upset and depressed and I am astounded at how cold some people have been towards me since this happened. I had to use a cane for awhile and I've been having trouble talking, writing and typing as well, though thank God I still have all my number, math and music abilities (strong points of mine) in tact. I am depressed and frustrated and I feel like there is something possibly more wrong with me and like I'm not progressing as I should. All the bruises on the outside are diminishing, but I still seem to be a mess on the inside. What should I do? My family is getting more and more and frustrated with me. A psychiatrist I saw a couple of times said she couldn't help me and I'm not even sure why. I just know that I am not myself and I'm scared that I might not ever return to my former self, though some tell me that I am showing some signs of improvement. I don't smoke or drink and walking my dog was always my calming behavior and I'm having a lot of trouble with that. What can I do to make things better? What is the matter with me? Why do I have such an awful time with anesthetic? How do I find out if I am developing a brain aneurysm like my father did? Thanks for your helpful information, I hope you are doing better. --Candace Mc

Hi Candace

It seems like you have had - and are still having a really rough time of things at the moment.

If you are still frightened, and have a family history of aneurysm, you should ask your doctor if you can have an MRA (which is painless and looks at the blood vessels in you brain) and also an MRI (which will identify any soft tissue damage).

This should give you a definitive result regarding anuerysms and also check for anything else that may be going on in your brain.

I hope you find the answers you need.

Cheers

Lyn

Candice...Hello, and I understand completely what you are going through. I, too, had a very large aneurysm found due to vertigo. My dizzy spell happened while I was driving, which scared the he!! out of me. After a cat scan, I was off to the neurologist. One cerebral angiogram confirmed it, large unruputured aneurysm behind my right eye. Two stents put in, second one because the first stent moved, and on Dec 4th, after a 6.5 hour surgery, 18 coils were placed.
Now, I'm told I'm good. I have headaches everyday, I am anxious, depressed,
yes, I do feel all alone in this. I fear driving because thats where it all started.
My family Dr has put me on Zoloft, also Lorezapam for what he says is Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder. I lost my job because of all the time I missed during surgeries. Right now I want my life back, but I dont know how to get it, I cant imagine going back to work right now. So, I, too, spend alot of time alone, have my crying spells...ugh!!
I'm grateful that my surgery was a success, I know that it's a miracle, and I am thankful for that. Sometimes, though, I find myself wishing that they had never found the aneurysm. I know I'm going to get through this though, and so will you...will do it together. It's wonderful they have this support group, so we do know we're not alone in our journey here. If you need someone, to talk with, to vent to...I am here, know that your not alone. I'll pray for you, myself, and everyone else out there that is going through this. My name is Laurie....

HI Candice
Yes I think that this is very common. I had a ruptured brain annie and it has been almost 10 months and just now am coming out of the depression. I do take Zoloft which has helped tremendously and I do take trazadone to help me sleep. Good luck and I am happy you are here!
Stacey

post surgery depression
 

f:grouphug:I got my group hug fr reading all of your reponds. I am a year and few months past my clipping surgery...and this has been a bad day....Then I will have my good days...and trying to find the old me, don't know if I will.............thanks to all of you,
Blessings, Sage

Hello Sage

This was an old thread - but so true. I had my aneurysm clipped in 2004, and I know that there were lots of dark days (and nights when I couldn't sleep).

There are lots of reasons why depression is so common after brain surgery. Not least because you have been through a life threatening surgery, but because I think you lose a lot of your identity when you have to depend on others and find yourself different from the 'you' that you have always known.

There are the cognitive effects - poor sleeping, poor memory, trouble sleeping, difficulty finding words (although YOU know what you want to say), physical effects - like having a massive scar, hair loss, weight gain (particularly if you have been on steroids), weakness and generally feeling like cr@p. Added to that, you are trying to cope with people who have no idea what you are experiencing that expect that it is something like recovery after getting your tonsils removed.

Of course, we can't discount the fact that your brain has had a massive insult and some doctor (even if they are great - like mine was) has been messing around with the very thing that makes you YOU.

The whole thing is a recipe for depression, and if you are experiencing that, I hope you have seen a good doctor, and have someone around that you can REALLY talk to.

Keep in touch and remember that if you come to this forum, you will get support from others who have been through, or are coping with this journey now.

Regards

Lyn

Candice- I to continue to experience the things you mentioned, I had a ruptured aneurysm repaired in Dec. 2008. The doctors found 2 others and I have since had them all repaired by clips or coils. Have had at least 3 strokes and feel much like you do. I "look" fine so many people do not understand . I have joined a brain injury support group, and it seems to help at times. It still sucks, but at least I know I am not alone, and neither are you

Hi Candice
 

Welcome to Neuro talk. I am sorry you have been through so much. I want you to know you are not alone in this depression. This can and does happen with many different medical and surgical problems. I don't know exactly what happens, I only know it happens to many of us. I have had cervial problems and multipal surgeries, and battle depression as you do. I also have council and medication. I come back here and I do receive alot of help and support. What you are doing, by going for help, is the best possible thing you can do. Not all medication works for everyone. sometimes it takes a change or two, to get a medicine that works. You doctor will work with you to make sure you take something that will help. If the first one doesn't, allow him to try a different one. Don't be afraid of the medications. Even if you had an unpleasant side effect, you won't have take that particuar one. Do give it a try. I have gotten much better since I started with sertraline, this was the second one I tried. I do wish you all the best. Ginnie

I can relate to what you are going threw. I had a ruptured annie last January. I am not only suffering from depression (I believe) but other physical stuff. No diagnosis as to what the other stuff is and it bumbs me out even more. I get headaches, stars, ringing in ears, wierd outta-body stuff. Numbness, tingling and the list continues. I was advised to see pysc and have yet to follow up. Its alot to rap your head around. I am constantly reminded how lucky I am to be here. I should have died according to those around me (sometimes I think their right). I struggle everyday with normal activity, not because of physical imparement, but mental (I think). I've been on lyrica and metoprolol. I stopped taking them when they could not give me a diagnosis as to why I should take them. None of the above compares to being alone tho. The worst for me is being alone. Everyone tiptoes around me, avoid me like I have a plague. That hurst the most and Im sure it contributes to my emotional well being. If you have a support network, stick with it, seek medical help when needed. I sit everyday trying to remember that awful feeling just before my head popped. Living in fear that its waiting to get me again. The neurosurgeon assured me that it would not happen again, but the physical things Im expererience says other. I encourage you to get all the help you can. If you are taking meds, take them, talk to your dr's about adjusting them if needed and continue to talk to those who are supportive of you. Do what you deem best for yourself and Im sure in time it will get better. I still believe that even I will get better, just as soon as I find a good neurologist and perhaps pyschologist/pychiatrist which ever comes first. My prayers to you and anyone else that stands in need of prayer, even myself. God bless, please keep us posted as to how and when your issues are resolved. HUGS!!!

Hello Sah
 

Hello and I sure am glad you found NT. You are not alone. There are quite a few people on the site that have your medical problems. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I know some of the fear about it that you live with. I am sorry people have not responded to your need in your life. You find out who your friends are when you get sick. Keep posting here. SDFenser, has annies too. He can be a good source of information and support to. Don't hesitate to keep in contact with him. He is a fencing champion, and also stuggles with what happened to his brain. I will also chat with you any time. I have spinal problems in my life, and walking issues as well. Keep in touch. I care. ginnie

Thank you Ginnie, that meant alot to me. I get stubborn sometimes or upset because I feel like no is listening either because of no response or slow response. I will continue to visit NT. I need all the support I can get. Im no longer ashamed to admit that. Perhaps, I will have the strength to seek professional help beyond the uppidy neorulogist in time. Im afraid they might want to commit/admit me. Finally got that off my chest, Whewww.... Exhailing.....It feels good to breath, it feels sooooooo good to breath! Love and hugs to everyone!!! WOW! HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!:grouphug: Thank you!

Hi Sah, PM me
 

Yo are not alone. PM me and I will give you my home PC address. I will try to give you a little more upbeat talk that way. I will listen and so will SDfender. You are not alone. We all suffer to some degree, and some folks just get wrapped up on certain threads. I kinda make the rounds. ginnie

ok, what is PM? still learning to navigate. : )

Hello Sah-PCA
 

Hi this morning, under where your name appears is a line that says Your notifications. This is private messaging, or PM. It allows you to talk without the whole board hearing what you have to say. It is a way to have privacy. We also can exchange some information that way, without the boards knowing. Give it a try. I am really doing alot for a retired person today, but I will be back to talk. ginnie

Similar experience
 

Hi Candace, it was very interesting to hear your story and concerns. Last year I had an incident that caused a blackout followed by severe headache, vomiting, and vertigo. I went to an Urgent Care facility that said I had the worst ear infection he'd ever seen and medicated me for that. I then went to an ENT specialist who said the same but when the vertigo persisted he put me thru several hearing and balance tests that said I had lost 36% of my left vestibular function which could cause the vertigo. At this time the diagnosed me with Hydrops which is similar to Menieres and said I'd just have to live with it.

I finally consulted a neurologist I knew and told him what was happening and that I wasn't getting better I was getting worse. He said it sounded like I had an aneurysm and finally did a CAT which showed it. It was four months after the initial incident when they did a craniotomy on the left frontal communicating artery. I have thought myself crazy for things I have dealt with since then. Physically I have been cleared but ever since the surgery I have had major issues with insomnia and severe depression. I have a history of depression but after the surgery it seems to have worsened or gotten deeper.

It's been 1 year now since the initial occur acne and I'm still not working. It's frustrating that everyone thinks I look ok and why am I not back yet and it's hard to tell them that yes, I look good now but I've been in bed two weeks crying, lethargic, fatigued, and in complete despair. It comes and goes. And is more frequent than I had dealt with before and longer lasting. It seems you and I aren't alone but hearing your story at least helped me know its not all in my head!! (No pun intended)!!

Hi Lisa and Candace
 

I think that sometimes when the body undergoes a major shock, depression can follow. I don't have all the right answers for how to lift yourselves up. I do know that distraction helps. If I do just one small thing that is active, paint a shelf, walk a block, it seems to help me. Reading can take you away from the depression too. I hope you both feel better soon. Speaking of painting, I am painting fence pieces today.... no time to be depressed for awhile. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie

Hi. My name is Chris and I suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm 16 months ago that resulted in, first coiling, then clipping and ultimately placing a shunt in my head to drain the fluid off my brain. I recovered for the most part and returned back to work 3 months later. I too, suffer from depression that feels dehabilitating. I am on anti depressants and under the care of a therapist. I would love to find someone else who has been through this as I feel no one understands. I know I am loved but feel it is hard for anyone to understand me anymore. I feel like I am a burden to people as I still talk a lot about what happened to me. I have tried to find a support group in my area but I am from a small town and have not been able to find any. I have also been diagnosed with a rare disease called fibro muscular displyasia which means I will be very vulnerable to future aneurysms. I have not been able to find a dr that knows about this disease. At the time of my aneurysm, I was airlifted to a hospital 6 hours away and had my surgeries there. I hope you are beginning to feel better Candice. I will be praying for you.

depression after ruptured anuerysm
 

I had always had anxiety and depression till I found a drug called Lamoctal...It worked wonders for me and I felt like a new person re-born. After I had a brain ruptured brain aneurysm, My depression returned with a vengeance. I don't know what to do...I don't enjoy life anymore...I have no feelings of joy, happiness, excitement or looking forward to being with friends or family events. Sometimes I ask myself,, what's the use. I'm just existing. If I don't get the help I need, I fear I will take my life. I just don't want to leave my children, knowing I'll never see them again and for being selfish to creating their pain of never seeing their mom again. I don't' know what to do...Some drug experimenting can be worse then better and I've been down that road before this. When we found the miracle drug Lamoctal, I thought it was my guardian angel..now it no longer works. I'm at wits ends here, can anyone make any suggestions??

Welcome smartmove5. :Wave-Hello: